The Weekly Ten: Really Terrible Commercials

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So the other day I was watching old episodes of 90210 (don’t judge!) that I had DVRed and never got around to watching when it came time for the commercial  break. I looked around for the remote so I could fast forward right through (per usual), but it was all the way on the other side of the room. And I was so comfy in my cocoon of my blankets to make the long trek…. so I decided to just let it be.

I’d watch the commercials for once.

And let me tell you something, I will never do that again. Because a lot of the commercials today? Well, they’re pretty terrible. What are these marketing people thinking? What are the companies thinking? How can they spend millions on this stuff??

10. Flo from Progressive. There’s nothing outright annoying and ridiculous about this commercial except, you know, Flo herself. Who wouldn’t want an overly perky woman in white who wears way too much lipstick and looks like she should be in a Bumpit commercial for their spokesperson? Who would find her annoying? Um, me.

9. Honda’s Mr. Opportunity I’m sorry but why would they think that a cartoon sketch of a sleazy car salesman would be any better at selling cars than an actual sleazy car salesman?

8. McDonalds R&B McNugget Commercial. Girl you got a ten piece, don’t be stingy. Really? This is what they’re going with? An R&B singer crying over the fact that his girlfriend has snuck off in the night, in the rain, in heels, to go pick up a ten piece of McCripsy, McJuicy McNuggets? Whatever happened to ‘we love to see you smile,’ huh, McDonalds?

7. The Freecreditreport.com Song Oh, make it stop. Make. it. stop! I don’t know what it says about America that this commercial campaign was so successful that they actually ended up making nine (nine!) freecreditreport.com commercials with the singer dressed up as a pirate, riding a bike, and even living at a renaissance fair.

6.The Optimum Triple Play Commerical 877-393-4468. I will remember that number even when I can’t remember my own name. I’ve got to hand it to them, that jingle was catchy, still is even now when I hear it in the newer versions of this commercial. You know, the ones without the half naked mermaids and the dancing pimp.

5. The Swiffer Baby Come Back Commercial  Okay. Hmm. What’s the word I’m looking for? Corny? Cheesy? Obnoxious? Annoying? How about all of the above.

4. Boost Mobile Commercial I would really love to know what it was exactly they were trying to do with this commercial. A little kid dressed up like a dog and stuck in a cage? Yes, obviously if they were going to cut back on costs that would be the way to go. Was it supposed to be funny? Well…it wasn’t.

3. The Skittle Tree Boy Commercial Another one that I guess was supposed to be funny but really just fell flat. The mother and her “stop talking about dreams, we depend on you” approach came off as really, really creepy to me. Really creepy. But entertaining? Not so much.

2. The Swiffer Mud and Dirt Commercial  I didn’t think anything could top my dislike of “baby come back,” but, oh boy, was I wrong. Mud and dirt turn out to be two single gals just waiting around for the perfect mop to come along an sweep ‘em (har har) off their feet? What audience were they trying to target here, exactly?  Because I can tell ya as a single gal I really don’t spend all that much time thinking about cleaning supplies.

1. Old Navy Mannequins  Every time this commercial would come on I would cringe. With each new addition it just got more absurd. Talking mannequins. Dating mannequins. Super model mannequins. Suburban mannequins. How could they possibly let this continue? How could they possibly build on such a ridiculous concept? Why wasn’t this pulled off the air immediately? Why did it run for so long?? Why am I wearing Old Navy sweatpants right now?!

Here’s the thing, though, despite the fact that these commercials are really, really terrible, I still remember all of them. So maybe there’s a method to the madness? Huh.

What about you? Which commercials do you hate the most? 

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