WTF Friday: Well This Makes Bristol’s Abstinence Plan Look Good

By Candy

So abstinence underwear exists.

I’m starting to think that the people who come with elaborate and creative abstinence plans are completely asexual. Because when you’re hooking up with someone and contemplating the horizontal mambo, you’re really in the mood to throw on your spectacles and read the messages on someone’s underwear.

“Oh wait, what’s that, your body language is saying you want to have sex, but your underwear is saying not tonight? Well blue balls be damned, I’m pulling up my pants, and  I’m going to go finish off my night reading the bible and eating dry toast.”

The only way this underwear method could possibly work would be if it had a high-res image of a baby being born and a Teen Mom DVD set coupon stapled on the back. That might remind some people of the possible consequences of sex…and hopefully remind them to use birth control.