Moment of Truth: Best Friend or Boyfriend?

I never thought I’d have to choose between my best friend and my boyfriend. Never.

I’m not even sure how I get into the situation in the first place. When I first met my boyfriend during class, I immediately wanted my best friend to meet him. You know how it is. You want your girl’s seal of approval! So we got dinner one day, all three of us, and even though he was kind of nervous, it went well. She liked him! I was ecstatic and so we continued seeing each other and I was happy. Blissfully happy.

However, as time passed, a rift started to grow between my best friend and my boyfriend. Sometimes, when we all hung out, it kind of became a competition for my time. Of course my best friend wanted to hang out, but so did my boyfriend. I did my best, of course. I’d make it so all of us hung out together, or I’d set apart time just for me and him to spend together.

I’d started to notice, though, that my best friend and boyfriend got into little arguments here and there. They were never about anything important, but they were always bickering about something. She would say something that offended him and then he would say something back that offended her. I always just let them duke it out because I didn’t think anything of it. But one day my best friend expressed that she really didn’t like my boyfriend. She said she didn’t understand why they always got into little debates and arguments about really stupid things. Then she said she didn’t want to hang out with him anymore.

So then it started to get a bit awkward. I separated the two of them so that I only hung out with one of them at a time. I spent most of my days with my best friend, and most of my nights with my boyfriend. For a couple of weeks, that seemed to work out.

One day, I asked my boyfriend to be honest with me. I asked him if he disliked my best friend. He said no, but I could tell he was lying. I inquired further and he finally admitted that he didn’t like her. Now, for me, that was a huge problem. How could two important people in my life dislike each other? How could my life coexist peacefully if two main components of it were at war with each other?

That night, I thought about it. It had become a question of choice: to keep my boyfriend who hated my best friend, or to keep my best friend who hated my boyfriend. I wanted to keep them both. I really did. To best honest, I wish somehow I could still keep them both. I didn’t want to have to choose. No one ever wants to choose between two people they care about. And I was really starting to fall for him.

But then I really thought about it.
Would I really choose a guy over my girl?

I love my best friend to death. We’ve been friends for years and inseparable since we met. I’ve always trusted her judgment and know that she has my best interest at heart. So even though she wasn’t forcing me to choose, I knew what she thought of him and I did choose. And I didn’t choose my boyfriend.

I dumped my boyfriend less than three days ago. It still hurts to think about it and it hurts even more when I see him around campus. (Sitting next to him during class today was brutal.) But I’m happy with my decision. I know that my best friend saw things that I didn’t see, inherently knew things that I wouldn’t let myself know. I know it was the right choice even though it doesn’t feel like the right choice right now.

Plus, when you break up with a boy, your best friend is always there. If you break up with your best friend, who do you have then?



  1. Megs says:

    I think it's completely circumstantial. My best friend didn't like my boyfriend, but it was because she was jealous and unhappy with her own life, and was tearing my life apart so we could be unhappy together (turns out she wasn't that great of a friend.) I knew my bf hadn't done anything wrong and kept them separate for awhile. But her bashing didn't stop, and though he wasn't specifically the reason we 'broke up' I knew it was a factor. My bf became my best friend, then fiance, then husband so I guess I made the right choice!

  2. melissa says:

    This was so nice to read. My boyfriends always become my best friend. But when we break up, if you have no other friends, who do you turn to? Gal pals over boy toys for ever.

  3. Ryssa says:

    This is not a easy decision to make, but I believe that any of boyfriends should never disrespect someone important to you. I am sure your boyfriend is a great person, and I am not saying that those boyfriends who disrespect are not a good person. I just strongly believe that boyfriends who try to respect someone that is important to you does show us that they care about you by respecting your best friend, and you. When he said something mean to your best friend or actually, any other people, I personally think it shows you a lot who the person is and it tells you how he treats other people especially someone that is important to you. If he can't respect that, then he is not a right guy for you.

    1. Johnny says:

      You assume it was the boyfriend who began disrespecting the friend first. What if it was the friend? Does that mean she isn't the "friend" for you? The friend should be held to the same standards of respect for the choice of boyfriend too. Just taking abuse from your girlfriends friend is unacceptable on all fronts. The gf shouldn't allow it, the bf shouldn't allow it, and the friend shouldn't do it. ,but fighting back in verbal confrontation isn't wrong.

  4. elizabeth says:

    I understand how you feel completely. My best friend and my boyfriend absolutely hate each other. Its really hard to deal with it, but I've been doing it pretty successfully for about 6 months. I keep them separate as much as possible and whenever they are forced to be together, if they fight I side with my best friend, even if I actually don't agree with her. Its hard, but I have somehow managed to strike a balance.

  5. criolle johnny says:

    Breath in … SIGH, Ask Once Again: What if the genders were reversed?
    What would YOU expect from HIM?
    What if HIS friend(s) did not approve or get along with YOU?

    Yeah, I know. I hate women, I can't get a date. Someone hurt me a long time ago. I should get over it.

  6. Katie says:

    I understand where you are coming from but I have been on the opposite side of this situation. My roommate/best friends boyfriend was always at our apartment and while I know you're trying to accomodate both of them while hanging out with both at the same time, I think that was the first mistake. When I never was able to get alone time with my bff, I started to resent him being there all the time, when it wasn't really his fault. She just needed to balance and make time for both of us separately. I felt uncomfortable talking to her about girl stuff in front of him even though it was okay for her to ask me in front of him because it wasn't her business on display but I only saw her when he was around. While I trust my bff theres certain girl stuff i wanted to talk about with only her. Just from my perspective, your bff chooses to be friends with you, you can't force friendship between your bf and gal pal, it isn't as natural since they only know each other in terms relative to you.

  7. Victoria says:

    I kinda have a different viewpoint for this one.. I have had a long-term boyfriend for going on four years now, but I would consider him my best friend. I have some female friends that whenever they are single only ever want to do "girls nights" EVERY time we hang out. Like I'm sorry, we're at the age now where people are starting to get engaged in married and I'm not giving up my boyfriend just because you don't have one.

    1. Jim says:

      Nothing beats an intelligent woman with common sense. Thank you for existing.

    2. ann says:

      you OBVIOUSLY dont remember what it was like to be single.

    3. haily says:

      it hurts to be single and all of your best friends have one!

  8. Ric says:

    Ryssa, should not the best friend have to abide by the same laws of respect?

  9. Katie says:

    I was the best friend in this situation about a year and a half ago. My "best friend" flat out told me I had to get along with her boyfriend or she couldn't be friends with me anymore. We were inseparable, and had known each other since we were 5. It all started because her boyfriend called me a bad influence because I like to drink, I'm in college though, ALOT of college students drink. He apparently didn't think it was appropriate for her to be hanging out with me. When my boyfriend at the time broke up with me, her boyfriend told me I deserved to be cheated on. Bear in mind, her boyfriend is 8 years older than her, they work together, have it so their work and school schedules match up perfectly so they never have to spend a minute apart and they go to the same college. She has lost all of her friends now because all she does is hang out with him. Our moms are best friends and she just got engaged and her mom was saying how she had NO friends to call or anything because her fiance is her only friend. So I hope he was worth losing a 13 year friendship over.

    1. criolle johnny says:

      He's older, perhaps "settling down" age. he's looking at her as the potential future mother of his children. You're a college age female, in college and wanting to cruise the college clubs, which to be honest are meat markets and meet markets. He's keeping your friend of 13 years and reliable wing chick from accompanying you. Perhaps this isn't the future woman he wants at his side for the rest of HIS life?
      I can see how that would generate a bit of friction and conflict of interests. None of the three would or could find any room to compromise?
      You lost a friend, she lost a friend and he has a lover who will, W – I – L – L resent that isolation in the future. A bit of maturity of everyone's part, starting with anyone might have helped this situation.
      No winners.

  10. Guest - says:

    Hypothetical scenario –

    If you were an emotionally independent person who didn't need a special "best friend" for emotional / social support, would you be asking yourself the question posed in the article? It could go the other way, with the boyfriend, as well.
    The article also posits that "when you break up with a boy, your best friend is always there. If you break up with your best friend, who do you have then?" – I would ask, "why do you only have one friend who can be there for you?" / "why do you absolutely have to have someone who has to be there for you?"

    How you arrive at situations you eventually have to "deal with" says as much about yourself as you think it does of the people around you. As well, not everything is constant, except change. When a long friendship, or relationship, ends, it's not the end of the world.

    Another thing, the problem mentioned in the article was left to grow, rather than be resolved. Separating the two parties does nothing except worsen the problem over time. Again, this goes back to my point about how you arrive at situations you eventually find yourself having to deal with. Sort out issues early, and you may not have to ask yourself that question.

  11. Miriam says:

    This. Is. THE. Most ridiculous thing I've heard. I'm sorry, I understand how difficult the choice must've been for you, but it's a choice you shouldn't have had to make. What are you going to do if your best friend doesn't like your future fiance or husband? What are you going to do if she hates your kids? What if she hated your parents or siblings?

    If your best friend refuses to hang out with your boyfriend, then hang out with them separately. There's no reason why you always have to see them together. I also refuse to believe that your best friend knew your boyfriend better than you did. I'm sorry, but that's just unreasonable. If you don't trust yourself to make choices in your love life without your best friend's approval, that's a dangerous situation. Choose your boyfriends for YOURSELF, not for your best friend.

    1. Ben says:

      Complete Agreement

    2. Laddu says:

      wow, thats possibly the dumbest reason EVER to break up with your boyfriend. Unless your bestfriend told you about some major character flaw that you didn't see, theres absolutely no reason to break up with your boyfriend just because your bestfriend doesn't like him. Thats honestly something i'd expect from a 12 year old girl, not a college student.

  12. Alex says:

    If your best friend was really your best friend, she would never ever ask you to choose between her and your boyfriend. And they both need to be respectful to each other not just one to the other. Would you ever ask her to do the same thing if you didn't like her boyfriend but she was happy? Probably not. I find a lot of times in this situation, it has nothing to do with the boyfriend but with the friend being unhappy in her own love life. Misery loves company.

  13. guest says:

    Explains why men hate women

    AND don't you think she might have been jealous…?

  14. alittlebitobsessed says:

    I don't really understand this story at all. I understand that you were put in an uncomfortable situation because your best friend and boyfriend didn't like each other, but there are SO many more options than breaking up with your boyfriend. It doesn't even sound like either of them were asking you to make that choice, so why did you bring it upon yourself?

    Even if one of them HAD asked you to make a choice, it would have been a messed up thing to do. Sometimes people don't get along, that's life, you have to learn to deal with it. Just because you love your best friend and you love your boyfriend doesn't mean they're going to love each other, and they shouldn't have to. Yeah, it would make things much easier if they did, but still. You need to learn to deal with having people in your life not like each other. Not all of the people you choose to spend time with are going to like each other.

    I guess I'm just having a hard time understanding why you decided to break up with your boyfriend if you really liked him, just because they didn't get along. You could have just hung out with them separately, there's no rule saying they HAVE to get along just because you want them to. Or you could have maybe tried to work things out between them. I think you made the wrong choice here, and I think it was completely unnecessary that you even did it to begin with.

  15. anon says:

    Wait, you picked the one that couldn't just suck it up for you and get along with your boyfriend? And even had the immaturity to say she wouldn't hang out with him anymore? Huh.

  16. Brian says:

    What a terrible friend. She should have kept her opinions to herself, and you should have been able to grasp that your boyfriend was trying to respect your friendship when he didn't immediately admit he disliked her. You chose poorly, but he's better off without a flake like you.

  17. izzy says:

    My best friend has never asked me to do such a thing. Not even when she despised the guy. I didn't know she despised him until after we broke up. And I have wondered what she is thinking when she has gotten with different guys, but I trust her judgement as she trusts mine. Now, she has two children and is really happy with a guy I wouldn't speak to if I saw him in public and didn't know him. He's one of my best friends, too, now, and her children are like my own. That's a best friend. Call your boyfriend and make up. Seriously.

    1. Leah says:

      Best advice i've read so far!

  18. Nesta says:

    I remember my then best friend picked her boyfriend of a few days over me. It was over. I was totaly cast aside. Then she turned my other friends against me so I had nobody. Granted it was middle school, but shit like that happens a lot.

    It hurt. Happened years ago, but it still hurts. And they broke up not too long after that. So much for us being best friends forever.

  19. Pam says:

    I'm sorry to everyone who thinks the best friend should have kept her opinions to herself, but I disagree. Perhaps she shouldn't have been so quick to pick silly arguments with the boyfriend, but if she didn't like the boyfriend there must have been a reason.
    I once had to tell my best friend that I really didn't like her boyfriend because he'd been making comments to me that I thought were completely inappropriate. When I told her we both ended up in tears, but she broke up with him.
    After she split up with him I found out she'd been lending him money for months, coming to about £300, and he never once offered to pay any of it back, even on days when he got paid. She was much better off without him, and she's now very happily married.
    So, to come back to the beginning, I think Kassandra may have made the right choice, although possibly a bit prematurely.

    1. Jenna says:

      I think there's a distinction to be made between disapproving of a boyfriend out of genuine concern for your friend, and what appears to be going on here which is just a clash of personalities perhaps combined with a petty rivalry. Sometimes people can grate on you for no particular reason, but unless at least one party is being unreasonable, it shouldn't be too difficult to just suck it up and get along.

  20. lovetakesover says:

    Ever thought that she just wants the bf for herself?? I had the same experience only to find out the supposedly ''bestfriend'' lead on my bf and slept with him. He eventually came out and told me 4 months later after hating her but not wanting to tell me because she begged him not to. Please… If she is your ''best friend'' she would respect and be happy for you that you are happy. That is it. If you are truly unhappy with your choice you should try fixing it with him before he gets over you and move on. Bump her!

  21. Kaylah says:

    I've not gotten along with my friends' boyfriends before and I NEVER made my friends chose between the two of us. If the guy is a jerk it's not gonna work out for their relationship anyway so why put yourself in that situation to look like the bad guy?

    It's natural for your best friend to feel sad because she's losing time with you due to an increase of time spent with your boyfriend, but that shouldn't make your relationship go bad. The truth of the matter is: Your friend should have found another way to be happy without you being around all the time. Make new friends, join a club, get a hobby, SOMETHING. I know that it's hard but you CAN'T allow yourself to live your life based on whether or not your friends are happy with your romantic choices.

  22. Cupcake says:

    The best friend and boy friend are probably going to end up being together after taking some random obscure class together, just wait

  23. […] Is it ever really necessary to choose between your best friend and your boyfriend? – College Candy […]

  24. alison says:

    I'd get rid of both of them. Unless your best friend or boyfriend are, in particular, difficult and selfish persons, there is no reason why they should bicker and insult each other. If he disrespects your friend, then he will probably disrespect you. If your friend disrespects your boyfriend, then maybe she has the problem.

    I'm guessing that your boyfriend was probably the jerk if your gut instinct told you to dump him. However, I'd reevaluate your friendship with this girl. It really isn't that hard to get along with the average person.

  25. Brooke says:

    What is all this talk about your boyfriend over a best friend! I can't believe that some people would ditch their best friend, which they probley had for years more than the boy, for a boy! Yeah, sure you want to find love, I do too! But seriously, when it comes down to reality, there is a whole whack of boys out there!

  26. Why is everyone jumping on the best friend? No one made her the author choose ! Neither said "Me or him/her." . "The friend only said " I dont want to hang with him. ". It should have been a done deal after that. She could have damn well kept both.

  27. Robert Ray Rice says:

    It's all dependent on the situation. Sometimes you can just accept that people won't get along, but sometimes the BFF is just expressing the same thoughts everybody else in your life has. Boys come and go, and sometimes those relationships can be incredible and enriching, but sometimes they drag you down and make you blind to reality. In the end you have to realize that if you choose either your friend or your lover you've chosen wrong. You have to choose yourself, everyday. Choose the course that's going to be best for you. 80% of the time your friends are probably right, but every now and then you gotta say "girl, I love you, but this is how it is". A good friend isn't always going to understand, but she's always going to -try- to understand. Sometimes your boy sucks and everybody but you sees that. Flashforward a few years to all your friends giving up and you finally realizing that you bet on the wrong horse. That sucks. When you've got a conflict like this, look at the whys. Somebody is being a bitch, and you gotta figure out who that is, because you don't need bitches in your life.

  28. Kiralee says:

    I was in the exact same situation; however, I dumped the best friend instead. Granted, the best friend and I had also been having serious arguments, and we were drifting apart anyway.

  29. Gauri says:

    I absolutely agree with your decision!
    People don't have value for their best friends!Its a normal unwritten rule that everyone looks after his/her own life and there is no place for a true friend in today's selfish world!
    In fact I am strongly proud of the auther for she being so good and loyal friend.
    I would always prefer to have such true friends who are ready to sacrifice anything for their friends,may it be a boyfriend then!!
    Its absolutely right decision and I'm with you!
    cheers to your friendship! May it last forever!!!!!!!

    1. haily says:

      i agree with you! because it hurts when someone chooses a GUY over you (trust me i would know!)

  30. darren says:

    if she does not support your lovelife and interferes with your every affair, then she is not your friend. she is your boss and you are a phony. it is stupid that you broke up with your boyfriend. i am happy for whoever that guy was because you just saved him from a phony relationship. you depend on your bestfriend a lot i guess. my assumption, you will end up as a lesbian couple.

  31. chuba says:

    ""Plus, when you break up with a boy, your best friend is always there. If you break up with your best friend, who do you have then?""
    if you break up with your best friend,,, you have ur boyfriend!!! remember, when she marries, she wouldnt be there for u all the time……. unless u two are…….?? no offence…
    take care!

  32. jeffrey santos says:

    if the girl choose her friends, it means that the man dont deserve this girl maybe the guy deserve better ,if you love each other you'll never choose your friend maybe you'll never choose both of them because you love them both,.,but if you are wise you'll never choose your friend because you cannot live with your friends for the rest of your life,because they will find their guy someday then they will go and have their family .

    thats why choose your boyfriend/girlfriend not your friend .you know what am saying ?

    jeff Snts

  33. rndee84 says:

    I am having this same problem. My boyfriend loves me but he also has a guy friend he's been friends with since middle school they hang out alot. Although, he asks me to go out to eat with him and when he comes to pick me up he says oh my friend is in the car too. That gets me upset. One time me and him was suppose to go to the movies together, he tells his friends to meet him at the movie theater but he doesn't tell me. Im thinking its just me and him. We walk in the movie theater and his friends are sitting at the table in the movie theater like it was a coincidence we saw them there. Thats what my boyfriend said it was a surprise to him. I knew the truth though and didn't want to be one of his fools, so I told him I knew you invited them here, so don't lie to me. I like to be with his friends but not all the time. Three people are not suppose to be in a relationship that is suppose to be between a girlfriend and boyfriend. Yes, we can hang out all three of us at times, but we need our own time together. What if we get married and have kids and the friend wants to hang out all the time, is the husband going to leave his wife and kids to hang out with his friend? Yes, he can be with his friend at times talk to him, but he has to know that he has a family now and he can't be with his friends all the time. I would like my boyfriend to have a guys night out with just them, not me, and when its our time my boyfriend and I to hang out it will be just me and him, thats it! The three of us can hang out at times but not all the time! Also, what if I decided to invite my friends to places without him knowing or tell him my friends are coming with us all the time to the movies, shopping, events, alone time? He would be upset because Im spending so much time with my friends and not him, then he would understand what I am talking about and what Im going through with him and his friend.

  34. E.S. says:

    I’m having a very similar problem…my best friend and boyfriend (ex boyfriend at the moment) never got along. Him and I broke up about a week ago, I ended it because we got into a fight about something I thought neither one of us would ever get over. At the beginning of our relationshi things were so great and perfect, we still had our mnents though and we love each other. He’s the one guy I could actually see a future with but here’s where the problem begins. My best friend and I have always been veryyy close. We’ve been best friends for almost five years now and are like sisters. Our families are really close and we do just about everything together but when I got a boyfriend we started fighting especially because she doesn’t care for him. Everyone says she’s jealous but she’s given me reasons on why she doesn’t like him and sometimes I think she’s right. She makes me happy but so does he. they are both very aware tha they don’t like one another. I feel like they hate each other sometimes and I keep them very seperate. It gets hard and tiring though. We all hug at once and it went terrible. I’m terrified for it to happen again and I won’t talk about it with either one of them anymore because it always leads to fights. I’m really missing my boyfriend and I’m terribly upset. My best friend ask me what’s wrong when I feel like she should know. I’m scared my boyfriend will ruin our friendship but I’m also scared to even try to work out things with him because there has been so much conflict. I feel like I have to choose and that they want each other gone. I love my best friend and when I’m not dating him her and I are fine. I miss that but I miss my relationship. What should I do?

  35. E.S. says:

    * hung out once

  36. Kewi says:

    Just found out my boyfriend wants me to quit hanging out with my best friend. They had this big fight and she said something she shouldn’t, there was also a fight between my boyfriend and my best friend’s friend. He wants me to quit hanging out with her or he will break up with me. I don’t know who to choose I hate to choose and I really like this boy I did everything for him. She also got into an argument with my mom and called my brother retarted and called my mom some names. She appologized but he expects me to tell her I can’t hang out with her any more. What should I do? Who should I pick?

  37. nanda says:

    good job :)
    most of them think otherwise….i respect ur decision…u'll find a better boy and ur best friend will always be wid u …take care… :)

  38. Andreea says:

    i dont think that was such a good idea , i have thee exact same problem but as her being a best friend she should be understanding about it more. she needs to know the u have another person to look after, and tht she just cant get in the way of tht. I know its chicks before dicks but honestly its who ever is still there in the end no matter what and the ones who never left. If your boyfriend or friend makes u choose between them , thts wrong and unfair, they dont deserve you, because thats just plain selfish of both of them

  39. Sean says:

    Seriously? You were falling for him, for someone who could potentially have been a life partner, for someone who may one day may have moved across the country with you, for you, for someone who is supposed to bring you love and comfort always, and you dumped him for someone who would probably move away from from you for a good job, who isn’t there with you in the middle of the night, who doesn’t have to take your burdens as there own, and who doesn’t offer you physical intimacy? Excuse me while I play the world’s smallest fiddle for you and go write my own blog entry about how screwed up some people’s priorities are.

  40. sean says:

    Seriously? You were falling for him? You were falling for someone who would take your burdens as their own; for someone who could one day have moved across the country with you, for you; for someone who is there for you and with you in the middle of the night – quite literally – and who gives you physical and emotional intimacy…and you dumped him for someone who would move away if they got a good job; for someone who can be there for a laugh but can't satisfy more intimate needs – romantic or otherwise; for someone who can't offer you a family if you want one? You either weren't falling for him or you have a screwed up sense of priorities.

  41. sean says:

    Seriously? You were falling for him? You were falling for someone who would take your burdens as their own; for someone who could one day have moved across the country with you, for you; for someone who is there for you and with you in the middle of the night – quite literally – and who gives you physical and emotional intimacy…and you dumped him for someone who would move away if they got a good job; for someone who can be there for a laugh but can't satisfy more intimate needs – romantic or otherwise; for someone who can't offer you a family if you want one? You either weren't falling for him or you have a screwed up sense of priorities.

  42. haily says:

    I sorta have the same thing except i'm the best friend who hates her boyfriend and he doesn't like me(she picked him so that hurt really bad!). Anyway, i'm glad you chose your best friend instead of him because there are plenty of guys who will be nice and sweet too! And you'll never get another kind of best friend like her!

  43. marida says:

    my boyfriend of two years let me for another girl because i accuse him of seen another girl and since then i have been trying to get him but he refuse to come back to me,he was not responding to my call or email and he even unfriend me in facebook and he told me that he is done with me.i was searching on the internet for help and i saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so i decided to give it a try and i contacted him and i explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell for me and guarantee me of 3days that my ex will come back to me and to my greatest surprise the third day a great miracle fell on me and my ex come back to me on the third day and he beg me for forgiveness i will continue to publish his name because he is my Savior and we are about to get married.if you need him to help you Email

  44. Leigh Segel says:

    Sounds like your BFF was jealous of you and your BF, if you ask me

  45. Lulu says:

    My bestfriends boyfriend hates me and when we hang out he starts fights with her , so we keep our friendship a serect and only hang out when he isn't around that pisses me off cause i know her for four years and he has known her for just around a month and treats her like shit. I wish my friend was more like the girl in this story

  46. Christine says:

    you're my hero! props to you!

  47. art says:

    who the fuck has this problem, wierdos

  48. TheSentinal says:

    Well..maybe you and your BFF can become lesbian lovers. Because if you make a habit of letting her influence who YOU choose to date, then you may very well end up w/o a man. It would be something diff if he were mistreating you, but I don’t get that that’s the issue. Ur BFF shld respect ur relationship with ur man. Sounds like she dsnt and that’s a BIG problem

  49. Haggis says:

    I was in the sitarist ion as you were, only I was the bestfriend not liking my bet friends boyfriend. He was a complete tosser and was known for cheating, but because she only just moved here a year ago, she didn’t know his history. When I told her about my concerns, she insisted that I didn’t know him although I kinda did. A week into there relationship, her boyfriend and I started arguing and throwin hateful comments back and forth towards one another, and my best friend decided to listen to her boyfriend when he told her that I treated her like shit. My best friend ended our friendship, for her 1 week relationship..
    3 months have passed, and now she has no fiends because she ditched them all for her boyfriend. Silly mistake! When thy break up, she’ll have no friends and no supportive people because she pushed them all away. But even though she left me for her boyfriend, ill still be there for my girl no matter what.

    Moral of the story, best friends over boyfriends always, especially if your young or a teenager. Boys come and go, friendship is forever!

  50. john val jean says:

    really??? REALLY?

    yes your bestfriend will be there night in night out, day in day out, but for how long? what if she's in your place and didn't made the same decision as you did? you threw away a chance for having someone to spend the rest of your life, sounds cheesy early in your relationship but who knows? Remember, opportunity knocks only once. Friends / Bestfriends uses a doorbell.

    P. S. ***

    Plus, when you break up with a boy, your best friend is always there. If you break up with your best friend, who do you have then? —FAMILY.

    **Your argument is invalid. one word to describe how i felt after reading your last sentence. Disappointed.

  51. Lost my bestfriend says:

    I am in the same dilemma that you were!
    My best friend and I have been really close, although we've only been best friends for 8 months, our friendship was something special. It was different to all the rest in my past, she even said that what we had was unlike any other friendship she'd experienced before. We were both so happy with one another, yes we'd fight but what best friends didn't?
    Anyway, in December last year my best friend started talking to this guy. From the start, I hated him. He was a complete sleeze and everyone had told my best friend that, including me. But she argued that we didn't know him like she did, although she'd only just started talking to him, plus she'd only just moved into the area a year before..
    In January this year, my best friend and I would be together but her head would always be looking down at her phone, I could never get her off the damn thing. Turns out she was constantly texting him. As weeks went on, my best friend would be sitting right in front of me having a conversation until he'd message her, then bam, it was like I never existed.
    In February, they became a couple. That was probably the worst day of my life so far. My best friend knew how much I disliked their friendship, she knew my reasons and knew how I felt about him but still said yes to the guy, which is now her boyfriend.
    As February was passing, my friendship was slipping away with her. We began fighting like never before, she'd only ever speak to me when she needed advice or when her boyfriend was treating her badly. I never liked him and I made sure my best friend knew it, then on the 16/02/2016, my best friend told me she no longer wanted me in her life and that she was happy with her boyfriend, without me. In other words, my best friend told me to hit the road because I disliked her relationship..
    To this day, their still in a relationship. It's been four months since they've been together and four months since my best friend left me heart broken for a guy.

    The moral of my story is, I was there for my best friend through everything, "forever & always through thick & thin" (that was our thing) and he came around knowing nothing about our past but some how managed to push me out of her life. They won't be together forever, his not going to stick around. Me on the other hand, I would of stuck around.
    Best friends are forever, but boys will leave you. Please don't make the wrong decision and choose a temporary relationship over a probable lifetime friendship. He's not going to be with your forever, but I promise your best friend will be.

  52. - megs says:

    I think it's completely circumstantial. My best friend didn't like my boyfriend, but it was because she was jealous and unhappy with her own life, and was tearing my life apart so we could be unhappy together (turns out she wasn't that great of a friend.) I knew my bf hadn't done anything wrong and kept them separate for awhile. But her bashing didn't stop, and though he wasn't specifically the reason we 'broke up' I knew it was a factor. My bf became my best friend, then fiance, then husband so I guess I made the right choice!

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