Moment of Truth: Best Friend or Boyfriend?

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I never thought I’d have to choose between my best friend and my boyfriend. Never.

I’m not even sure how I get into the situation in the first place. When I first met my boyfriend during class, I immediately wanted my best friend to meet him. You know how it is. You want your girl’s seal of approval! So we got dinner one day, all three of us, and even though he was kind of nervous, it went well. She liked him! I was ecstatic and so we continued seeing each other and I was happy. Blissfully happy.

However, as time passed, a rift started to grow between my best friend and my boyfriend. Sometimes, when we all hung out, it kind of became a competition for my time. Of course my best friend wanted to hang out, but so did my boyfriend. I did my best, of course. I’d make it so all of us hung out together, or I’d set apart time just for me and him to spend together.

I’d started to notice, though, that my best friend and boyfriend got into little arguments here and there. They were never about anything important, but they were always bickering about something. She would say something that offended him and then he would say something back that offended her. I always just let them duke it out because I didn’t think anything of it. But one day my best friend expressed that she really didn’t like my boyfriend. She said she didn’t understand why they always got into little debates and arguments about really stupid things. Then she said she didn’t want to hang out with him anymore.

So then it started to get a bit awkward. I separated the two of them so that I only hung out with one of them at a time. I spent most of my days with my best friend, and most of my nights with my boyfriend. For a couple of weeks, that seemed to work out.

One day, I asked my boyfriend to be honest with me. I asked him if he disliked my best friend. He said no, but I could tell he was lying. I inquired further and he finally admitted that he didn’t like her. Now, for me, that was a huge problem. How could two important people in my life dislike each other? How could my life coexist peacefully if two main components of it were at war with each other?

That night, I thought about it. It had become a question of choice: to keep my boyfriend who hated my best friend, or to keep my best friend who hated my boyfriend. I wanted to keep them both. I really did. To best honest, I wish somehow I could still keep them both. I didn’t want to have to choose. No one ever wants to choose between two people they care about. And I was really starting to fall for him.

But then I really thought about it.
Would I really choose a guy over my girl?

I love my best friend to death. We’ve been friends for years and inseparable since we met. I’ve always trusted her judgment and know that she has my best interest at heart. So even though she wasn’t forcing me to choose, I knew what she thought of him and I did choose. And I didn’t choose my boyfriend.

I dumped my boyfriend less than three days ago. It still hurts to think about it and it hurts even more when I see him around campus. (Sitting next to him during class today was brutal.) But I’m happy with my decision. I know that my best friend saw things that I didn’t see, inherently knew things that I wouldn’t let myself know. I know it was the right choice even though it doesn’t feel like the right choice right now.

Plus, when you break up with a boy, your best friend is always there. If you break up with your best friend, who do you have then?

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