Tuffy Luv Sez: Bad Boy, Bad News
Question?! Answer. Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.
Confidential to Almost Sexually Active Band Geek: WAIT. He doesn’t mind. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen later–when things work out.
Dear Tuffy Luv,
I have been hooking up with a long time friend recently but we have never been anything official. He acts like he likes me, takes me out, says he thinks he is falling in love with me and says how he thinks we should be together. He has quite the playboy/bad boy reputation and for a long time and I couldn’t let myself be anything more than friends with benefits, so I have denied his requests that I be his girlfriend in fear of getting hurt.
I had a change of heart about 2 weeks ago and we had a conversation where we both decided to try and make a relationship work. Nothing really changed, we just gave it a label. However last week, only a few days after we became official, he slept with my best friend. Now things are beyond awkward between said friend and I and my “boyfriend” thinks I am making a big deal about nothing.
My head tells me to cut all ties and that he is exactly who I feared he was, but I still have feelings for him and can’t figure out why he would do this after saying and showing how much he likes me. I should also note that he told me he wasn’t hooking up with anyone else when we were unofficially together.
Confused by the Label
Dear Confused by the Label,
This guy is so straightforward I could vom.
Vom, that is, because, um, you knew he was a douche. Why did you think calling him your boyfriend would change him?! Dude’s a playboy. He likes to get girls’ affections and then he gets bored. So he cheats on ‘em. Because it’s fun.
Know who it’s not fun for? You. And now it’s SUPER not fun for you, because it turns out your “best friend” is a douche too.
I’d like to say, well, better to find out now, but, honestly, it’s never a good time to lose a friend. But giiiiiiiiirl!!! She’s SO not your real friend. I mean, even if she wasn’t taking your new “relationship” with a former FWB seriously, at the very least she knew you were sleeping with him. And that makes her a shoophead.
Sooooo: get rid of the friend, get rid of the guy.
Not in like a mean way. I don’t think either of them are really worth a big send-off. After all, they both showed they don’t care about you AT ALL. To the girl, you say: “That was messed up what you did. I’m over it, but I just wanted to let you know, we can’t be friends anymore.” If she tries to push the issue, just explain you can’t trust her. Don’t get heated. Just don’t look back. To the guy, you say: “My bad for trusting you. I’m over it, but I just wanted to let you know, it’s over.” And then block him on Facebook and don’t open his texts or answer his calls.
Out of sight, out of mind.
But the bigger question is, why do you keep getting close with people who don’t care about you?! Honey, really. EVERYONE deserves to be treated with respect. Surround yourself with good people. Don’t let those toxic fumes anywhere near your pretty little face. Because dem fumes will f*ck you up.
I mean floop.
Hearts & Skulls,
Get more Tough Love right here. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing.