How to Survive your 21st Birthday

L-E-G-A-L.

By Tehrene Firman

No more slipping your older, cooler friends a twenty in line at the liquor store for getting you your goods. No more getting completely annihilated before the bars because your drinking has to end the second you leave the security of your own home. And best of all, no more trying to scrub off those despised black X’s in the bathroom sink of the bar.

Ladies, you’re about to enter a magical time in your life where paper wristbands are your new favorite accessories and Tylenol is your new best friend. So toss that fake I.D. aside and get ready for a ride.  You’re turning 21.  Now how do you survive it?

Pre-Drinking Preparation. It’s all about getting your room ready for your future drunken self.  Before you go out for the night, make sure your room is ready for your return because you might not even know who you are, let alone how to get into a bed, by the end of the night.

1. Pull the covers back on your bed to make it easier to pass out in.
2. Put the garbage can next to your bed. Obvious reasons.
3. Set a container of bottled water next to you. When you wake up, you’ll be thirsty…but there’s a good chance won’t feel like moving.

It may seem pointless now, but you’ll thank yourself later.

Plan Your Outfit Accordingly. If you’re wearing that cute, little dress you’ve been saving for weeks for your special night, you may want to invest in a pair of compression shorts to wear underneath it.  After multiple shots, you could very well end up rolling around on the floor of the bar thinking you’re a world-famous break dancer. Trust me, it happens. In the morning you’ll be glad everyone didn’t get a look at your Barbie underwear.  Or, see you in your birthday suit.

Designate a “Mom” for the Night. Or multiple Moms. Depending on your level of wildness, it may take more than one person to keep you under control on your big night. It’s always a good idea to have someone there to make sure you don’t drink too much…and then hold your hair for you the next morning when you do. This person also comes in handy when you’re trying to get home at night. Choose to have a drinking Mom, or end up waking up in someone’s front lawn when the sprinkler system goes off. It’s up to you.

Take a Picture— It’ll Last Longer. Since the likelihood of you remembering your night is pretty much nonexistent, you’ll want a team of photographers (a.k.a. your friends) to help you relive the craziness…over and over again.  If you have a successful night, your pictures will be nowhere near Facebook appropriate but they will definitely give you a good laugh and something to show your grandkids someday.

Don’t Lose Your S#^&. Believe it or not, there’s a feeling that’s worse than puking your guts out the morning after a great night out— the feeling in your gut when you realize you’ve lost your license, student ID, and everything else you took out with you the night before. To avoid this problem, you have a few options:

Option #1: Have a friend carry the important items you’ll need to get into the bar, such as your license and money.

Option #2: Put your important items in a wristlet…and duct tape the wristlet to your wrist.

Option #3: Stick your important items in your compression shorts if you decide to wear them. Nothing can escape the compression shorts.

Have Your Cake and Eat it Too. Your 21^st birthday only happens once so live it up.  If you want to do snow angels in the middle of a parking lot on the way home from the bar, do them.  If you’re in the mood for some take-out after you get back, order it. With dessert! And if your friend’s man is lookin’ extra fine, he’s yours! Okay, just kidding on that one. Guess we can’t have everything we want.  But seriously, you’re the birthday girl. Take advantage of that!

I’m proud to say I survived my 21^st…in a blizzard.  And I may or may not have indulged in some snow angel making. You’ll never know. How did you survive your 21^st birthday?