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Sexy Time: Have A Great One Night Stand

There are some nights when you go out and all you want to do is pregame, go out with your friends, dance, gorge on your late night snack of choice (grilled cheeeeeese), and pass out. Then there are those nights where as you’re lining your eyes and shaking it to Britney, a thought crosses your mind. You want sweaty, perhaps alcohol-fueled, passionate, inappropriate, killer sex with someone. But just once. Maybe it’s with that cutie you’ve had your eye on for awhile, or you want to bag someone totally new. Either way, if you ever have the slightest notion that you’re going to hook up, here are some tips to make it as safe, fun, and comfortable as possible.

Prep your purse
Besides your phone, camera, keys, and wallet, there are a few other things you may want to pack in your clutch. Like condoms. Under no circumstances is this trashy or tacky. It is a completely responsible and admirable thing to do. Other people, especially strangers, may not have any regard for your health, but you definitely should. To avoid that grungy morning-after feeling, throw in a mini tube of deodorant, some breath stripes and a pack of wipes.

Get a second opinion
Obviously, your sex life is ultimately your own business, but it might be a good idea to have someone else confirm your prospect’s attractiveness (those vodka soda goggles fall off at the most inopportune times), and gauging level of availability (maybe your best friend sees that guy every day…canoodling with the same person in the student union). At the very least, make sure someone else knows where you’re going, not only for safety concerns but also for the sake of your friends not frantically having to search for you at last call when you peaced out an hour before.

Open yourself up
I would never deny the importance of boundaries. Having them is incredibly empowering and strengthens your sense of security and control, and engaging in a one night stand does not invalidate your right to set boundaries at all. At the same time though, one of the great things about a one night stand is the freedom to do things you wouldn’t normally do. So go for it. Practice your dirty talk, try a new position, let go of some of your inhibitions. One night stands are about pure, unadulterated, stringless pleasure, so make the most of it.

Don’t beat yourself up afterward
One of the things I struggled with when I was engaging in casual hookups was an overwhelming sense of self-loathing. I would wonder why these guys didn’t like me and I would question my self-worth because I internalized some of the insanity our slut shamey culture propagates on a regular basis. I felt like I was leaving pieces of myself with guys I’d never talk to again and I didn’t feel comfortable with that at all.

I eventually came to the conclusion that one night stands aren’t personally my cup of tea, and maybe you’re the same way. Regardless, I learned a lot about myself that I might not have learned had I not hooked up with those randoms, so I ultimately don’t regret anything I did. And as for that feeling of “incompleteness,” I realized that I was attaching too many expectations to these particular sexual experiences. There are times when sex should be laden with emotions and significance…and one night stands are not it. They’re bursts of superficial pleasure, and that’s fine. Sometimes you want a gourmet meal and sometimes you want McDonalds, but when you start assigning gourmet ideals to a Big Mac, that’s when your feelings get hurt.

Having casual sex is a perfectly valid lifestyle choice and there’s no reason to be ashamed, so I fully support taking as many steps as you can to ensure it is as enjoyable as it can be. The walk of shame, however; well, you’re on your own for that one.

  • Jasmine R.COLLEGECANDY Writer
    Mariah Carey's closet is what I see when I dream at night. Email me at stilettosandpearlnecklaces [at] gmail.com!