Kim Brittingham Tells us How She Learned to Love Her Body (Interview PLUS Giveaway!)

May 6, 2011 Posted in Body, Health, Reality

Women. Weight. And the media.

Three words that are thrown together more often than we realize in today’s society. Whether it be a news story about an anorexic woman, a magazine ad telling readers how to go about getting a bikini body, or a blog post about the double standard that exists for women, it’s safe to say that our culture covers women and their weight pretty heavily. (No pun intended.) But has anyone ever actually bothered to question why exactly society is so concerned not just with “fat people” but “fat women”?

Kim Brittingham, author of Read My Hips: How I Learned to Love My Body, Ditch Dieting, and Live Large has. And what she realized upon further exploration was so troubling that she wrote a memoir about it, chronicling not only her own struggles with her weight, and accepting herself for who she is, but also an exploration of the reasons why she, and so many other women, have these troubles. The result? An inspiration and heartfelt memoir so worthwhile that we just had to share it with our readers. So keep reading to find out why she is against the idea of dieting and how she learned to love her body as it is.

What gave you the inspiration to write Read My Hips: How I Learned to Love My Body, Ditch Dieting, and Live Large?
I feel like I wasted a lot of precious time as a younger person worrying about the size, shape and texture of my body. It makes me sad to remember how passionately I used to plot these physical overhauls for myself. So much energy and planning went into these self-transformation campaigns – and they were motivated by stupid things, like a desire to lessen the curve of my hips, or eliminate that little nugget of chub where my armpit meets my upper arm. You know that chub? I used to want a smooth line there so badly! None of those grand makeovers had anything to do with health, strength or longevity. It was about whittling and sculpting myself into somebody else’s image. And the things I did to change those physical details – like dieting, for example – were the very things that made me fatter in the long run. I wish I’d invested that energy in discovering more about myself and the world. My life could’ve been a REAL dream come true, much sooner.

Why do you think plus-sized women are treated differently than model-sized women in society?
Americans love to pick on fat people – and what qualifies as “fat” seems to get smaller every year. All this fat stigmatization might have something to do with the fact that our culture tolerates fewer and fewer prejudices as time goes on. It’s not nearly as socially acceptable today to spout ignorance about blacks or gays, for example, as it might have been even just 25 years ago. And people are no more secure today than they’ve ever been – maybe even less so. So they’re looking around for somebody to dump on, and fat people are a favorite target.

Why do you think people, especially us women, struggle with their body image so much?
I think girls and women specifically are taught to focus on their looks, at least in American culture. We’re taught to constantly doubt ourselves and seek ways to fix what’s “wrong.” And those fixes almost always involve giving our money away to someone else for a treatment or cure. Corporations don’t make money when women are happy with themselves. And big corporations are really holding most of the money in this country, and thus they can afford to give their messages the longest, most persistent reach. A lot of what you hear in a day is the result of someone trying to sell you something.

You wrote that “we live in a culture in which the phrase ‘lose weight’ causes a Pavlovian response in almost anyone born with a vagina.” Would you say more about that?
The promise of being able to lose weight is more appealing to females in our culture than anything else. We’ve been conditioned that way. If someone wants to sell a product to lots of American women, they’ll look for a way to link that product to weight loss. Why else do you think almost every women’s magazine on the newsstand has something about weight loss on the cover? Look for words like “lose pounds,” “shed pounds,” “weight loss secrets,” “slim down,” “get fit,” “lose two dress sizes,” etc. You’ll see them everywhere. Watch any television show geared towards women and count how many commercials refer to weight loss.

So with all that influencing us, how did you learn love and be confident about your own body?
For me it was a gradual process. One thing that helped a lot was taking pictures of myself in my underwear. I wrote a chapter about it in “Read My Hips”; I did it in private, in my apartment with a camera on a tripod, with the timer on. I took a lot of time to study those pictures. I really made an effort to be non-judgmental about the images. Over time I started questioning why we’re supposed to think certain things about human bodies are ugly. Take cellulite, for example. Everybody’s taught to loathe cellulite. But think about it – it’s just a texture. It kind of looks like a pattern on wet sand, like when those tiny bubbles on the edge of a wave leave patterns behind. What’s so awful about that? Who makes these things up about what’s ugly and what’s beautiful? And why are we letting them be right?

Are you against dieting? If so, why?
I am absolutely against dieting. Dieting makes us fatter. Diets are temporary, and when we go off of one, we eventually regain all the weight we lost, plus extra. I think the smarter alternative is to focus on adopting healthy habits, and stop watching the scale. If you need to gauge your progress, try setting exercise goals, like reaching your target heart rate in your cardio activity, or sustaining it longer, or increasing weight or reps if you’re weight training. Make goals to incorporate more fruits and vegetables into your diet. Body weight really doesn’t tell you much about how healthy, strong, or beautiful you are. But it CAN mess with your head in ways that are distinctly unhealthy. So ditch the scale.

What advice do you give to other women struggling with their body image?
I might tell them to spend some time looking at their bodies, really looking, without judgment. Whether they take pictures of themselves like I did, or just look in the mirror. Stop dismissing what you see right away as unattractive. Look at features of your body that you think are ugly and ask yourself, what else in nature looks like this? As a shape or a line or a texture, is it really that awful just by itself? Why should it be so ugly just because it’s part of your body? And try thinking of your body as a vessel that carries your essence, your heart and soul, rather than just some superficial object. Bring beauty to the world in what you do, in the positive feelings you create inside yourself and other beings. That’s where your true power is. Besides, your flesh is temporary. It’ll rot in the ground someday anyway.

Inspiring, right? You should read the book. Actually, you should WIN the book. We’re giving away one signed copy of Read My Hips: How I Learned to Love My Body, Ditch Dieting, and Live Large. How do you win?

1. Tell us one thing about yourself that you love most. That’s it. You’re automatically entered to win the book if you do that. Oh, and make sure to use your real e-mail address so we can contact you if you win.

2. Contest closes at 11:59 PM on May, 8 2011

3. Please note this giveaway is only open to US and Canadian residents. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery.

Good luck!

10158446 Comments2011-05-06+13%3A00%3A44CC+Staff on "Kim Brittingham Tells us How She Learned to Love Her Body (Interview PLUS Giveaway!)"

Lindsay says:
Fri, 6th May 20119:15 am

I love that I have compassion for everyone and a big heart.

Jasmine says:
Fri, 6th May 20119:35 am

I like my legs.

Jenn says:
Fri, 6th May 20119:40 am

I love my arms. Strong and always ready for cute sleeveless tops!

@JessicaB703 says:
Fri, 6th May 201110:32 am

I love my eyes.

Sam says:
Fri, 6th May 201110:34 am

I love my brain. It always gets me out of trouble.

I just found out one of my closest friends has an eating disorder and I would love to give this book to her.

RuthElisa Munoz says:
Fri, 6th May 201111:58 am

My lips. I love that I have a cupid's bow lips.

Reems says:
Fri, 6th May 201112:12 pm

I love my brain. it's sexy.

Jessie says:
Fri, 6th May 201112:13 pm

I love my ability to love. I feel that loving people is the point of life!
Live life, Love life!

Elizabeth says:
Fri, 6th May 20111:20 pm

I love the small line of freckles I get across my face when I'm tanned in the summer

Deb says:
Fri, 6th May 20111:54 pm

I love everything about my face. Skin, eyes, nose, cheeks, lips, chin…I love it all!

Jessa says:
Fri, 6th May 20112:56 pm

I love that no matter how many days I wake up and hate what I see in the mirror, I keep going… even when all I want to do is disappear.

Emily says:
Fri, 6th May 20113:35 pm

I love my ability to be positive and learn from my experiences. I've found that other things I value about myself, like my creativity or my physical fitness, can go away temporarily because of illness or other challenging circumstances. But whatever happens to me, I can count on my ability to find something good, something I can learn from in the situation, and I am very grateful for that.

Jessica says:
Fri, 6th May 20114:52 pm

I love my mangled feet. They are a representative of my junior high track career, my high school and college cross country careers, and my sub 4:00 marathon.

Sandy says:
Fri, 6th May 20114:58 pm

I'm truly it love with my wit, sometime I'm so spot one with comments, I even impress myself! Go me!

Sandy says:
Fri, 6th May 20115:01 pm

I'm truly it love with my wit, sometime I'm so spot on with comments, I even impress myself! Go me!

Stephanie says:
Fri, 6th May 20115:32 pm

A true "diet" is not a bad thing. It's a lifestyle change. Think of it in terms of noun not verb. Being fat is not healthy. Being anorexic/underweight isn't healthy either (and is certainly more immediately dangerous than being overweight). I am, however, very tired of people touting either extreme. Neither plus sized nor model sized is generally good. I am not ok with thinspiration, but I'm not happy about people being proud of being fat either. I'm in surgery often, and let me tell you this, the fat really does make things a lot worse. Time consumption is significantly greater in the obese. Your arteries look like junk and take longer to heal. Oh, and if you're a smoker…just forget about it.

Candace says:
Fri, 6th May 20115:43 pm

I love my glass half full attitude. When things get hard for myself or a friend it's nice to step back and find the good.

allie says:
Fri, 6th May 20116:41 pm

i understand where you come from but from somebody who's lost 100 pounds hating yourself is not going to make you lose weight. weight loss really is 100% mental, or at least it was for me. when you hear negative things about you, especially when you are working out and eating right and doing something about your health, you just really want to give up. being judgmental to people who are big is just counterproductive, its not going to do anything for them but make them want to eat more. i still have another 100 to go but i know that i can do it because i know i'm worth it and i love myself now. when i started loving myself, i started to take care of it better because i knew that i was worth it!

allie says:
Fri, 6th May 20116:42 pm

when i first read this i was like, "wait diet and exercise is important, you can't just be ok with being obese its a disease!" but then i read on and heard her talk about how lifestyle change eating and exercise is very important, not just to your body but to your self love. my journey was a hard one, i opted for lapband and have lost a total of 100 pounds though i still have another 100 to go, i know i will do it (i was 380 when i first got surgery). weight loss is 100% mental, i'm not saying people should be happy to be obese but they must love their selves, if you love youself, you want to take care of yourself. people who are big need to know that they are worth it, that they matter just as much as other people.

Amber says:
Fri, 6th May 20117:26 pm

I love my soft belly with all its stretch marks…its representative of my body being healthy and strong enough to nourish a new life. They are deep and long, and I will have them forever…my 4 year old daughter was worth every single one.

Maggie says:
Fri, 6th May 20118:49 pm

I loveeee my ears – they look great with earrings and I have fantastic hearing, which helps me stay on top of things.

Alex says:
Fri, 6th May 20119:03 pm

I love my shapely legs! Even though I'm a size 12, I love that my legs are thick and luscious! They always attract lots of guys and make me feel very sexy!

Megs says:
Fri, 6th May 20119:04 pm

I love my boobs. 36DDD, all natural! Sometimes their sheer mass prevents me from being able to wear the clothes I like, or to be able to shuffle down a movie isle without bopping people in the face, but they remind me that I'm a woman!

schrankers says:
Fri, 6th May 201110:48 pm

I love how chronically "weird" I am. I never seem to do things or look at things the way other people do. It used to be a huge problem for me, but I'm finally starting to see that maybe holding my pencil the "wrong" way and making voices for each of my five cats is just my own way of being myself.

Nova says:
Fri, 6th May 201111:56 pm

I love the fact that I can do things with my body, that I can play soccer or go on long walks or take an early-morning yoga class or play with a baby who's just learned to walk, that I can dance around my kitchen and then truly appreciate whatever yummy thing I decide to bake in said kitchen. I love that it's my body, just the way it is, that lets me experience all those things.

Preet says:
Sat, 7th May 201112:34 am

I love my "just keep swimmin' " approach to life a la Dory.

Michelle says:
Sat, 7th May 201112:41 am

I love my beauty mark. Although it is just a mole on my face, it makes me unique, and I love how it adds character to my face. When I was younger, my doctor asked if I wanted it removed and I told him absolutely not! It is something that makes me who I am!

Kathleen says:
Sat, 7th May 20111:54 am

I love my butt. I love the way it looks in jeans, leggings, bathing suits, everything. I have a lot of it but it works for me!

Alex says:
Sat, 7th May 20114:41 am

I love my hips. They might be wide and impossible to dress, but they're great hips which I get to sway when I walk around.

Jess says:
Sat, 7th May 20117:38 am

I love my breasts even though they are saggy and scared after breastfeeding..it reminds me that i am a proud mother every time i look at them

Shondrea says:
Sat, 7th May 201111:16 am

I love that I now have the strength and courage to learn to love myself fully, even if it takes a journey to the ends of time.

anna says:
Sat, 7th May 201112:18 pm

I love my the fact that i a big butt. I used to hate it but i realize now i can look great in a pair of jeans. I can thank my cousin Rachel for drilling into my head my butt was nice!

Ricki says:
Sat, 7th May 20111:17 pm

I love my care free attitude. I don't let other peoples negative comments about me bring me down. They're just words.

Emily says:
Sat, 7th May 20113:17 pm

I love my butt and my brain. I also love how witty I am.

Vicki says:
Sat, 7th May 20117:30 pm

I love my calves. I know it might be a little weird, but no matter what shape I've been in and no matter how I've felt about my body in the past, I have always loved them.

Clarie says:
Sat, 7th May 20118:25 pm

I love my beauty mark. People have made fun of my "mole" and have acted as though it is cancerous, but it is really just a flat, light freckle on the side of my face. I think it is just part of the way I look and it's cute. I would never consider having it removed.

Steph says:
Sat, 7th May 20119:31 pm

I love my strength that's allowed me to make the decision recently to turn my life around and finally get healthy, and my will power that lets me keep going,

Alissa says:
Sun, 8th May 201111:04 am

I love my eyes because they are unique and gawgeous!

Julia says:
Sun, 8th May 201111:58 am

I like my legs. They aren’t tiny, skinny things but they are beautiful. They are muscular and tan and make wearing skirts and dresses awesome. They allow me to walk and bike and dance!

Michelle says:
Sun, 8th May 20114:16 pm

I love my sense of humor.

Loren says:
Sun, 8th May 201111:20 pm

I love my eyes. They are perfect in that they allow me to take in the amazing world around me!

Amie says:
Mon, 9th May 201112:11 am

I love my smile. I think it shows more about me than anything else ever could.

Ellyn says:
Mon, 9th May 20118:45 am

I love my child-like spirit. It remains uninhibited and fun-loving even through the trudges and growth through life.

Tell us what you're thinking...