10 Things Less Flattering Than a Graduation Gown

By Courtney

It’s finally happening. Hard as you tried to push it off, you’re graduating. You are taking the big steps, literally, across the stage and into adulthood. To prepare for the big day, you chug a beer spend all morning primping, getting your hair perfectly curled, ironing your new dress, fixing your shoes. Then you cover it all up with that big, overpriced black gown. The gown that could easily fit two more people.

You look at yourself in disgust, then complain to your mom. “I look like a giant square!” you whine. So she soothes you in that sweet, motherly way. Well, unless it’s my mom then it’s an “Everyone does, get over it” kind of way.

True Story: No matter how bangin’ your bod or how figure-friendly your outfit, there’s nothing flattering about a graduation gown. But when you’re standing outside as your grandparents snap 1,637 pictures of you lookin’ round and squat in that rayon muumuu, you can at least take solace in the fact that you’re not wearing this:

Really, though, regardless of what you wear or how much you sweat under that gown, congratulations on this major accomplishment. No, really. We know what you’ve been up to for the past 4 years, so congrats on making it out alive…and ready to take on the real world. Yay, you!