The 5 Biggest Drunken Faux Pas

May 22, 2011 1:00 pm     Posted in Entertainment, Featured Right 2, Sidebar  Courtney - Bridgewater State University g+ page

It’s Sunday morning, you sit up slowly in your bed, vision blurred, hair lookin’ a hot mess, and attempt to take note of where everything is. After seeing a dress and shoes laying on the floor, you decide that’s enough and fall back into your bed. A second later you pop up and that”oh crap” light bulb pops in your head. You reach for your phone and hesitantly scroll through your sent messages from last night, and before you even open it, you see the name of your ex (from high school) pop up on the screen.


By Courtney

We’ve all been there, the moment when you realize that you might’ve done a few (hundred) bad things the night before that didn’t seem too horrible at the time, only to wake up having to deal with the consequences.

There are some faux pas that few people do, like paint balling an old teacher’s house, and ones everyone does, like drunk texting your most recent ex. So, just to make sure we are on the same page, here are the 5 biggest drunk faux pas:

Getting your Emotion on- Drinking,for some reason, brings out emotions that you never really knew you had. Like how you are still hung up on the boy who threw dirt in your face that one time when you were 9. Luckily you have his number and can call him to explain how he scared you and he is the reason you can’t find a boyfriend. All the while crying to your best friend who is trying, desperately, to shield the cute guy from your English class from seeing your mascara drip down your face. Not a pretty sight, girlfriend.

Losing…EVERYTHING. Getting drunk happens to bring out the forgets. Like, you forget your cellphone in the bathroom, and your purse outside the bar, and your shoes in the taxi, and your dignity next to that weird kid’s futon.

Having the best idea EVER. When you’re drunk, every idea you have is the “BEST IDEA EVER!”   Streaking through the quad sounds AWESOME, making out with your TA is AMAZING, taking that shot of mayo and tabasco sauce is DELICIOUS. Then sobriety hits….and everything changes.

Getting a little TOO honest with someone- When you go to the bar, and you have like 3-4 drinks in you, you should not tell the DJ that he is too fat to be spinning records. You should also not tell your best friend that you think she looks like she’s preggers and needs to lay off the Zebra Cakes. You should not sure that moment to tell your roommate that her boyfriend is cheating on her. But for some reason, as soon as you reach that drunk level, the word vomit just spills out.

The Irish Goodbye- So you drank so much that you left the bar without saying anything to your friends. No “oh my god girl, I’ll miss you!” Just you sneaking/stumbling out the door, in pursuit of your bed, someone else’s bed, or a giant Chipotle burrito. Innocent enough, right? Only your friends have no idea where you went and are now spending the rest of their night circling the bar and calling you every 5 minutes to make sure you’re not dead in a gutter somewhere/puking in a corner somewhere/crying about your ex in the corner while telling the waitress she needs to get a real job.

What are other drunken faux pas?

16 Comments on "The 5 Biggest Drunken Faux Pas"

  1. Amanda-Bloomsburg University says:
    Sun, 22nd May 20112:39 pm 

    This is hilarious. and so true!

  2. Kimani says:
    Sun, 22nd May 20116:06 pm 

    HAHHAHAH LMFAO So true!

  3. kris says:
    Sun, 22nd May 20117:39 pm 

    so funny and sadly brings to mind so many nights out! question though, why 2 different fonts?

  4. Liz says:
    Sun, 22nd May 20118:24 pm 

    hahaha ive done all of these…. sad but true!

  5. criolle johnny says:
    Mon, 23rd May 201111:29 am 

    One of the (many) things missing in US colleges is the presence of and leadership of college professors in the night life.
    At European and English colleges the instructors are a FORCE in the nightlife! It's not uncommon to see a professor of Math or another subject with his/her TA's touring a club or two or three or four. Each may, or not have a drink in each club.
    This is called ADULT SUPERVISION. You tend to not get slobbering drunk if your academic advisor will walk into the club and observe. These are the people who write letters of recommendation. They do so based on a total person, not just on class observation.
    Nighttime conversations with these people and the education derived are considered part of tuition.

    In America, they're called "creepers".

  6. jscapwrs says:
    Mon, 23rd May 201110:58 pm 

    Love the chipotle reference. I stumble to Qdoba for breakfast burritos!

  7. Liz says:
    Thu, 26th May 20114:57 pm 

    Love the "Irish Goodbye" hahahaha we call that the "Shady Bounce." Happens all the time!!

  8. LP says:
    Thu, 9th Jun 201112:27 am 

    I'm the one who usually suggests "the best idea eveeeerrrr" hahahaha :P

  9. Lizz says:
    Thu, 9th Jun 201110:58 pm 

    I remember crying about Ramen noodles my freshman yr! Aw such good memories lmao

  10. JJJ says:
    Sat, 11th Jun 20116:52 pm 

    I hope you're being sarcastic or making some kind of lame joke. I'm English and trust me it is uncommon! I've also studied in Spain and its uncommon there too.

  11. Ashley says:
    Sun, 12th Jun 201112:56 am 

    obviously this was copied from some other place hahaha

  12. Mal says:
    Sun, 12th Jun 20119:35 am 

    This doesn't happen in England. Believe me, I am English, and I know. The drinking age is 18, so we are all legally adults and do not need adult supervision. Your comment makes sense if your referring to Sixth Form (High School), but this really does not happen in Britain during University. Can't speak for the rest of Europe, but in Britain I really doubt it. Do you mean representatives? We do have older students who supervise the Fresher's but usually they are blind drunk as well.

  13. tearTEBOW says:
    Mon, 13th Jun 201111:02 pm 

    dont forget about the numerous possibilities of popcorn dishes……chili cheese dog popcorn…..mmmm mmmm gooooood

  14. Judie says:
    Sat, 18th Jun 201112:08 pm 

    Drunken faux pas? Thinking I can dance when I can barely stand up straight! Oh, yes! I am SOOOO sexy, swaying my hips with abandon, arms above my head, undulating like a sexy snake and then……everyone staring at me (because I am SO HOT! LOL) because I am stumbling over my own feet, bumping into everyone on the dance floor, my partner grabbing me around the waist to prevent me from falling to the floor, leading me back to the table – "I think you've had enough, why don't you sit down for awhile, huh?".

  15. Anon says:
    Mon, 20th Jun 20113:36 am 

    Biggest faux pas: getting sick into a bowl and then attempting to drink it. Then getting the re-cap the next day from your ex- who saw everything.

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