The 5 Biggest Drunken Faux Pas
It’s Sunday morning, you sit up slowly in your bed, vision blurred, hair lookin’ a hot mess, and attempt to take note of where everything is. After seeing a dress and shoes laying on the floor, you decide that’s enough and fall back into your bed. A second later you pop up and that”oh crap” light bulb pops in your head. You reach for your phone and hesitantly scroll through your sent messages from last night, and before you even open it, you see the name of your ex (from high school) pop up on the screen.
We’ve all been there, the moment when you realize that you might’ve done a few (hundred) bad things the night before that didn’t seem too horrible at the time, only to wake up having to deal with the consequences.
There are some faux pas that few people do, like paint balling an old teacher’s house, and ones everyone does, like drunk texting your most recent ex. So, just to make sure we are on the same page, here are the 5 biggest drunk faux pas:
Getting your Emotion on- Drinking,for some reason, brings out emotions that you never really knew you had. Like how you are still hung up on the boy who threw dirt in your face that one time when you were 9. Luckily you have his number and can call him to explain how he scared you and he is the reason you can’t find a boyfriend. All the while crying to your best friend who is trying, desperately, to shield the cute guy from your English class from seeing your mascara drip down your face. Not a pretty sight, girlfriend.
Losing…EVERYTHING. Getting drunk happens to bring out the forgets. Like, you forget your cellphone in the bathroom, and your purse outside the bar, and your shoes in the taxi, and your dignity next to that weird kid’s futon.
Having the best idea EVER. When you’re drunk, every idea you have is the “BEST IDEA EVER!” Streaking through the quad sounds AWESOME, making out with your TA is AMAZING, taking that shot of mayo and tabasco sauce is DELICIOUS. Then sobriety hits….and everything changes.
Getting a little TOO honest with someone- When you go to the bar, and you have like 3-4 drinks in you, you should not tell the DJ that he is too fat to be spinning records. You should also not tell your best friend that you think she looks like she’s preggers and needs to lay off the Zebra Cakes. You should not sure that moment to tell your roommate that her boyfriend is cheating on her. But for some reason, as soon as you reach that drunk level, the word vomit just spills out.
The Irish Goodbye- So you drank so much that you left the bar without saying anything to your friends. No “oh my god girl, I’ll miss you!” Just you sneaking/stumbling out the door, in pursuit of your bed, someone else’s bed, or a giant Chipotle burrito. Innocent enough, right? Only your friends have no idea where you went and are now spending the rest of their night circling the bar and calling you every 5 minutes to make sure you’re not dead in a gutter somewhere/puking in a corner somewhere/crying about your ex in the corner while telling the waitress she needs to get a real job.
What are other drunken faux pas?