You’ve doubtlessly heard it by now. From parents, from professors, from older friends and siblings who’ve “been there.” It’s a sobering phrase that likely enters your mind right after you envision a post-grad summer of margaritas and beach hair.

Not so fast with those grand plans, girlfriend. As everyone knows, looking for a job is a full-time job.

But does it have to be? Absolutely, if you commit yourself to a crazy weekly plan like this one from the media gurus at Cynopsis. Waking up at 7:30 to do cardio and work on your flexibility? Talking to strangers for an hour every Monday, Wednesday and Friday? Videotaping mock interviews on Tuesdays and Fridays? No TV, even during lunch!? Read More »

You know when you’re watching TV at 3am while trying to concentrate on finishing up an essay and all of a sudden an infomercial comes on? Before you realize it, your computer is on the floor and you can’t take your eyes off of the too-chipper spokesperson and the ridiculous invention they’re hawking.

Although we make fun of those commercials like it’s our job, you have to admit, sometimes they come up with pretty good ideas. I mean, the Snuggie? Hello, Mr. Genius! So, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I’m going to lay out the 10 as-seen-on-TV products that I really, really want but won’t get out of fear the UPS guy will judge me.

Did you know that in addition to being Asparagus Month and National BBQ Month, May is also National Masturbation Month? Yes, there is an entire month dedicated to doing the act solo (potentially with BBQ sauce and asparagus spears). National Masturbation Month was started by Good Vibrations (a sex store) in 1995 as a way to protest the firing of U.S. Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders, who had suggested that masturbation be part of sex education.

It’s always National Masturbation Month in my world, but to celebrate the actual month, I’m going to go into my room and lock the door, I thought I’d share a few fun facts about spanking the monkey with you.

So let’s get down and dirty: Read More »

Every girl needs a good purse (or 12). Whether you’re going for groceries or running from class to class, they are simply essential for holding all your, uh, essentials. Each week, I’m going to show you a fashionable, yet functional purse for the college crowd and let you know why you absolutely need it! I apologize ahead of time to your bank account.

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but straw bags are now very “in.” If you’ve been living under a rock, you may have missed the hoards of celebs toting straw totes by everyone from Marc Jacobs to Valentino. So naturally, we all need one.

Originally, I was going to show a $30 straw tote, but you know what? It fell apart! Straw is a delicate material to work with and unless a straw bag is made with half-decent craftsmanship, it’s going to unravel. Since I wasn’t about to feature a $400 straw bag (that’s just silly), I found a happy medium in the Juicy Couture Sunday Tote.

This little number is made of synthetic straw, weaved super tight and topped off with genuine leather trim, handles and front panel. This means quality, aka your bag isn’t going to fall apart! Unlike most Juicy bags that SCREAM the name brand, this one is more understated with a teensy nameplate on the front that reads “Juicy Couture.” There are also 4 metal “feet” on the bottom, so your purse will be sturdy, structured and protected from the dirty surfaces you put it on. And look at how cute those little charms are! A leather octopus and clam – my heart melts! Read More »

Put this in your car to survive any roadtrip

Cat hair you can wear (WTF)

C’mon Miley, you look ridiculous

15 profound words of wisdom

Sketchers thinks kids need firmer butts

Two Suris would just be impractical

This outfit is stripetastic

Why men love porn

There is this pervasive notion that everyone in college is obsessed with sex, that every social interaction begins with “hello” and ends with both parties naked and entwined. The “college hookup culture” rhetoric makes it sound like we all graduate with a degree, an STD, and a pregnancy scare under our belts from all our years of constant promiscuity.

In reality, though hook ups are common, an increased number of students are identifying as virgins. As much as I love talking about sex, and how amazing it can be, I totally acknowledge abstinence as a legitimate choice. For much of my college life, I was practicing abstinence. Contrary to stale stereotypes, I wasn’t a sullen, judgmental prude waiting for the perfect man to marry me before I gave it up. I was sex-positive, make out-friendly, and always looked forward to Sunday mornings so I could live vicariously through my friends’ recaps of their sexcapades.

Despite my deep interest in sex, I knew I wasn’t ready to engage yet (unlike others). I was waiting for someone I could trust. Someone who would grab breakfast with me in the dining hall a couple of times a week, who would respond to my texts in a reasonably timely fashion, who I could have the “let’s get tested” convo with, who would be there for me if I did get pregnant and would be a source of support for me while I figured out what my next course of action would be.  And I just wasn’t coming across dudes who fit that description. Read More »

So Bristol DID Have Plastic Sugery

Scruff only makes Bradley Cooper HOTTER

The picture you wish you were in

Guess the F-list reality star

Are prism shoes hot or not?

This is the ugliest dress I’ve ever seen

Meet the bra you’re going to wan to buy

Happy heel humpday!

Meet a turn-off tattoo

Look, we all know that drunken stupidity is a problem on college campuses. And we all know that Universities are at risk of being held responsible if something were to go horribly wrong. So it makes sense that schools are constantly coming up with new ways to combat the binge drinking. Except some of their ideas are less than stellar.

The latest “brilliant” plan?

“Student carers,” AKA, sober monitors at The University of Cambridge. Basically, the university will be paying students over $100 a night to babysit a drunk student. You know, kind of like how your friends usually take care of you. Except you don’t get fined for being drunk (unless you consider waking up to find some horribly embarrassing drunk texts to be a fine), or have a stranger holding back your hair and judging you while you puke up the fried Oreos you ate because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

It sounds absurd because it is absurd. Read More »

Hi Dude,

I’m finishing up my sophomore year in college and I’m STILL a virgin. I’m not the prettiest pumpkin in the patch, but I’m not unattractive either. I’m confident and kind, and I’m not at all clingy. To be honest, I  haven’t had very many (zero) serious relationships. But also, I don’t want my first time to be a fairytale… A wham-bam-thankya-ma’am would be fine. Just, ANYTHING. But, I can’t, like, go out and act all slutty, go home with some guy and then be like, “Oh, by the way, I’m a virgin.” But I can’t not tell him either… because then what happens when he goes for it, things get all bloody, or I scream or something?

I need help, Dude. My gut tells me that I should chat up one of my guy friends and be like, “Hey, I’m tired of being a virgin, so, let’s f*ck.” Although, that could end horribly.

Bottom line, I want to get this over with so I can start having fun. Please, Dude, tell me how to go about this. (With hopefully as little drama as possible.)

Thank you!!!
- The Twenty Year Old Virgin Read More »

How can you be jealous of someone who hasn’t even entered this world yet? Well, it’s not hard when they have a shot at the genes of some of the most talented, good looking looking and successful celebrities of Hollywood. I’m even giving the stink eye to the spawn of Mariah and Nick Cannon; they’ve got a shot at Mariah’s talented vocals and good looks and, well, Nick Cannon’s, um..well, I’m sure he brings something to the relationship.

With the baby boom hitting Hollywood hard, it’s getting pretty difficult to ignore it. Although NBC is doing their darndest by covering stomachs with big purses and over sized flannel shirts. Good work, execs. Though it’s not their fault their stars are getting a little freaky when the cameras are off. At least I hope the cameras are off.

Back to the point: How great would it be to be a celebu-spawn! I mean, minus the instant paparazzi you’ll attract and the unrealistic expectations the world will have for you. But beyond that, the loving family, the gene pool, the endless funds, the connections…did I mention the gene pool? It seems almost too good to be true, which is why I’m green with envy for these soon-to-be Hollywood babies.