You’ll Never Guess Which College Jessica Simpson and Jessica Alba Toured…

June 7, 2011 9:30 am     Posted in Entertainment  Heidi - Bridgewater State University g+ page

Plenty of young celebrities choose to earn a college degree just in case no one thinks they’re hot or wants to buy their album when they’re 45 and practically falling apart (thanks to a life of plastic surgery). Emma Watson, Hilary Duff, Dylan and Cole Sprouse — the list goes on and on. Honestly, it’s a smart decision, good for them.


By Heidi

But, see, there’s a difference between Emma Watson and Jessica Simpson, am I right? Emma’s cool British charm and her extensive knowledge of (fictional) magic make her the perfect candidate for an Ivy League school, but Jessica Simpson? I’m pretty sure you have to know the difference between chicken and tuna in order to get into college.

Regardless, Simpson, Alba (who knew they were friends?) and their husbands took a tour of this university’s campus yesterday. While there’s been no confirmation on whether they have plans to attend the school, they’re seriously the last two people on this planet who should be even considering applying to this school.

Okay, fine, Alba’s not bad, she could probably handle it, but Simpson? Seriously, can you imagine having Jessica Simpson as a roommate? Aside from bursting into an emotional drunken fit whenever someone decides to blast their 98 Degrees old-school playlist, Simpson would be that chick who asks the most ridiculous, stupid, irrelevant questions in class and that girl who might as well not even have a laptop since she doesn’t even know how to turn it on. Basically, she would be the one who you would have to assume had really, rich parents who built a library on campus.

8 Comments on "You’ll Never Guess Which College Jessica Simpson and Jessica Alba Toured…"

  1. wenwen says:
    Tue, 7th Jun 201112:06 pm 

    Do your research ! Jessica Alba was there for a husband class reunion.

  2. wenwen says:
    Tue, 7th Jun 201112:07 pm 

    *her husband

  3. Bee says:
    Tue, 7th Jun 201112:43 pm 

    This article is a disgusting generalization of a person you don't know and awfully judgemental on top of that. Yes, Jessica Simpson made dumb comments during her reality show but in case you hadn't noticed, that's what people on those types of shows do to keep ratings up! She also had cameras following her around 24/7 and the producers are going to pick the funniest moments, whether they make her look bad or not, because that's what the viewers want. You don't know Jessica at all but in general, as a "woman", you should be shouting from the roof tops how great it is that another woman is possibly looking to get an education – particuarly at such a prestigious institute. And if you want to try and argue that she'll just get good grades because she's famous then maybe you should have a problem wtih the professors and administrators, not Jessica herself. Instead of trying to bash other women, you should really consider applauding any effort they put forth to better themselves. I've enjoyed a few of your previous articles but this is shameful.

  4. Layra says:
    Tue, 7th Jun 20119:08 pm 

    A lot of the people who comment on this site seriously lack a sense of humor. Take a deep breath, breathe, sit back, and relax. Now re-read the article and seriously tell me it's not funny.

  5. Joyce says:
    Tue, 7th Jun 201110:02 pm 

    In case the person who wrote this article didn't know, but celebrities with some college background (whether they did x amount of credits or have the actual degree) is more common than most people think.

  6. Layra says:
    Tue, 7th Jun 201110:56 pm 

    The. Post. Is. A. Joke. Of course she knows celebrities with a college background are common. But you see, you're not reading the article for what it is, something to chuckle at. It's a joke on what it would be like living with Jessica Simpson… And unless you automatically place her on a high pedestal in your mind, which I believe you're already doing, you'd realize that it's not meant to be taken seriously.

    I like reading articles on this site, but now every time I read one, I feel as if I'm seeing a bunch of angry humorless people. Is that what this website attracts now?

  7. Bee says:
    Tue, 7th Jun 201111:20 pm 

    I took what you said and decided to read up on the author of this article. By that, I mean I took a look at her Twitter and Tumblr to see whether or not she was really apporaching this article as satire. After reading more than my fair share of her posts, I can say that I'm almost certain she didn't approach this as something funny. Unless of course that funny was to make fun of someone she doesn't particularly like. As a matter of fact, there was a post on her Tumblr about Jessica Simpson being on top of the world at one point and how it's funny how 'things change". She SEEMS bitter and down on herself which translates to this article and her opinion on someone she thinks is a vapid idiot. Perhaps she did mean this as a joke but it came out as mean-spirited and petty.

  8. Heidi - Bridgewater State says:
    Thu, 23rd Feb 20123:02 pm 

    Man, you really did your research!

    For real though, this WAS satire. I love Jessica Simpson. As a matter of fact, I'm wearing a pair of her shoes right now.

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