An Open Letter to Girls Who Say “Daddy”

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"No, you can not pretend it's Halloween in June. You're 22! Get a Job!"

Note: Let me first start by saying this excludes anyone 8 and younger and for now we are not going to even start with the girls who call their boyfriends “Daddy.” Right now, I’m looking at the 16+ crowd who still, for some really weird reason, need to call their fathers “Daaaadddddddy.” Ladies, this is for you. 

Dear women and young women who still say “Daddy,”

Maybe it’s because I don’t understand you, that I hate hearing your shrill voice yell for your “Daddy” as you stomp your foot. Maybe it’s because I’ve had old men ask me if I need a new Daddy, so the fact that you refer to your father as “Daddy” complete creeps me out. But, it’s probably because while you are doing so, you are usually throwing a tantrum, and you are also well into your 20’s. That’s why I usually look at you with disgust then opt to walk the other way, hoping not to run into you again.

I realize growing up it scary, so you want to hold on to your childhood. You dig your teeth and nails into a younger version of you where people won’t look at you as if you are an idiot when you scream “Daddy” and throw a tantrum because he won’t buy you a chocolate cone. But here is some advice, if you get a job and move out…you can buy yourself whatever you want. I know it may seem crazy, but I hear everyone is doing it.

I know you are probably sitting in your 50 room mansion reading this while calling for your Daddy and seeing if there is anything he can do to make the mean girl on the screen go away, but girlfriend take a hint from Lohan and get a clue (yes I realize that was a little lame, but drastic times call for corny phrases.) I’m only here to help you.

The first step to overcoming this is by looking up other names for your “Daddy.”

Here are a few off the top of my head: Dad, Father, Padre, Pops, Papa, Père, PA, and old man. Try them out, see which one works best. But just please stop saying Daddy, it makes you sound like a half-wit who is completely spoiled.

The second step is letting your father (I know it’s a different word, but you’ll get used to it) know that you are ready to be treated like an adult, or young adult at the very least. It’s your job to let him know when he can treat you like an adult, because if (some) parents had their choice, you would be their baby forever.

The last step (for now, feel free to email me for further advice on breaking this habit) is to get a job. I don’t care if your parents are rich, that is their money. Start making your own money, honey! It feels so much better to spend your own cash you worked for, trust me.

I don’t want to make fun you lovely ladies, but if you keep whining like a lost three-year old I will. So please at least try these simple steps and lets hope for a brighter future for everyone with in yelling distance of you and your father.

Sincerely,

Courtney

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