True Story: I’m a Nerd

June 14, 2011 12:00 pm     Posted in Headliners, Reality  Brenda P. Salinas g+ page


By Brenda P. Salinas

It is happening again. I am totally disoriented at a social gathering. I don’t recognize the music that is playing. I am lost. The only thing I know is that I don’t understand what the people around me are saying and they don’t understand me.

Am I studying abroad? Negative. This culture clash is of the domestic sort.

Maybe you wouldn’t know it by looking at me, contrary to the stereotype, I take care of my appearance. My nails are manicured, my brows are perfectly groomed. I am wearing what you could consider fashionable attire. But make no mistake about it, I’m a nerd.

I am really trying to listen, to find the value behind what people are saying. But I can’t get over their constant misuse of the subjunctive and the fact that the girl I’m speaking to is using the word “literally” before a metaphor. Not to mention that I have no idea who they are talking about.  I’m sorry, but determining whether or not Ashley should text this guy back involves learning their entire history. Also, I’m not sure if she’s someone you actually know or someone on TV. Either way, she kind of sounds like a bitch.

It always happens like this: by the time I’ve found something appropriate to say, the moment has passed. I’m increasingly uneasy, so I try to break the tension by cracking a joke. No one laughs. A pun? A little sarcasm? Major fail. A Zenon, Girl of the 21st Century reference? Mayday Mayday! Where is the eject button? Someone get me out of here!

And while some might use alcohol as a social lubricant, nothing is worse than a sloppy nerd: “Did you know that fermented beverages date back to the Neolithic period?” Yeah, I’m the cerebellum of the ball. (Want to date a nerd? Check this out!)

I am lucky enough that my school is so nerd-friendly. Believe it or not, I’ve even felt cool once or twice at campus parties. It’s because everyone here is a nerd, they just hide it behind horn-rimmed glasses and regrettable haircuts. I am happy here, but I can’t help thinking this bubble is far removed from the real world, a world where we are commonly seen as liberal elites despite our views or upbringing.

But it’s not just nerd prejudice that is holding me back.

I feel as though despite my earnest efforts, I misjudge people sometimes, especially girls. I think it is because so much of social interactions between girls in general seem superficial. Regardless of her IQ, a girl is more likely to start a conversation by saying “I like your shoes” then to ask who your favorite playwright is. While I acknowledge that it might be safer to stick to small talk, I wish we could share more with each other. If everyone has unique passions or stories, why must we talk about crash diets or how drunk we are? Can we at least talk about our pets? Please?

I think more than not being in the know, it’s the underlying fakeness of these situations that make me feel like theatre actor who’s forgotten his lines.

Sometimes I feel like I should get NERD tattooed on my forehead so that people would know the following:

  1. I don’t recognize most people on magazine covers.
  2. My Netflix que is full of quirkly coming of age films (likeHey Hey it’s Esther Blueburger) and Frontline documentaries.
  3. I do not wear uncomfortable shoes. No matter how tall/skinny/proportionate they make me look.
  4. I do not enjoy Rom-Coms or Chick Lit
  5. I HATE places where is too noisy to talk to people
  6. My car has a crappy stereo because I don’t need “sick” bass to enjoy Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me.
  7. I would rather be playing Apples to Apples with fellow partygoers.

I know that I could make more of an effort. I could memorize the lyrics to a Ke$ha song and pretend to care about The Hills, but that wouldn’t make me happy. I think this is what makes nerds seem elitist, the difficulties in talking to people who seem to be on a different wavelength. It can be pretty isolating.

Despite all of this, I don’t want to act like someone else, even if it would sometimes be easier. I have great friends and I enjoy my life, even if I am not having “typical” college experiences. So while I usually trade my hot pink bifocals for contact lenses, I will always let my nerd flag fly.

32 Comments on "True Story: I’m a Nerd"

  1. Brianna says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 201112:09 pm 

    I hate how people classify themselves as nerds now.

  2. Breeze says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 201112:42 pm 

    Viva la Nerd!!! I can be a fan of Broadway theatre and Doctor Who and still show up any sports fan when talking about Ice Hockey( Gordie Howe hat trick anyone?). Being a nerd just means embracing your own eclectic tastes regardless of whether or not those interests are popular at the moment. And that is a wonderful thing!

  3. Sarah says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 201112:52 pm 

    I am such a nerd, which most people wouldn't guess by looking at me. In high school, I was a cheerleader, but I aced every test and could go on and on about why statistics were amazing. This led to conversations like, "Did you know that people who have a fear of flying are irrational, because statistically there is a much greater chance of getting in a car crash within 10 minutes of your home?" Even though I love celebrity gossip (which I am such a nerd about because no one knows what I'm talking about half the time) and cry at Rom-Coms, I love sci-fi/fantasy shows and movies. I'm proud of who I am, even if it might confuse some people or rub them the wrong way.

  4. RCM says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 20111:03 pm 

    I can sympathize with your plight, but you came off as kind of judgmental here. You describe feeling like an outsider, but then talk about other girls' conversations as being "generally superficial" as if you're looking down on them. Don't get me wrong. I'm a female nerd too. I'm working at a computer help center this summer, would describe myself as a gamer, and have several intellectual pursuits. But I don't accuse other people of having an "underlying fakeness" because they have interests that happen to be different from mine. Yes, I'm a nerd, but I also have diverse alternative interests (like GASP! I can enjoy a romcom!) so I can make an effort to relate to people. Maybe if you don't look down on people, and make an effort to meet them halfway, you won't feel such a culture clash. Then maybe you can get to know people, and have those deeper conversations you want.

  5. wenwen says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 20112:49 pm 

    The only thing that I want to say is : Get over yourself.

  6. Chole says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 20112:52 pm 

    Thank you for this article! I felt like I couldn't embrace my true inner nerdness until I got to college. Now I'm not embarrassed to be smart and care about things other than celebrity stuff. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE celebs, but I have other interests too…

  7. Mol says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 20113:18 pm 

    Everybody is "nerdy" about something so I'm getting a little tired of the word's overuse. Seems like girls are using it as a way to play themselves off as secretly intelligent and quirky, like somehow their attractiveness didn't pull them into mainstream stereotypes. As if saying you're nerdy is another way of saying you're hot but not dumb or boring. I'm surprised this is discussed on a college blog since that's when people are(supposedly) finding their passions or niches. The only real place for nerdom is in growing up- and its only because of the labeling and ostracizing of others finding their own way. I'm no sociologist but it seems as though people are trying to take back and own the derogatory word/idea of nerd, just as other words have been claimed (derogatory words for women for example). But I think it's just silly, because everyone should just own and share their interests and be open to others' without labeling themselves, unlike the writer of this article. And more annoyingly shouldn't be using it as a way to sneakily brag about their smarts.

    Also to the author…it sounds like maybe you have a social anxiety disorder since you seem to not be able to relate to anyone in public. I also "take care of my appearance" whatever that mean, and suffer from a mild one myself…and its not because i'm a chemistry student or because I like sci fi or think that everyone at college parties are half wits.

  8. eliz says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 20114:08 pm 

    "Regardless of her IQ, a girl is more likely to start a conversation by saying “I like your shoes” then to ask who your favorite playwright is."

    I mean, if you're going to judge whether or not someone uses the proper form of the subjunctive, maybe you should double check your posts for simple gramatical errors..

  9. Freya says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 20114:11 pm 

    I don't know, I think she might be saying that girls feel the need to discuss only their more superficial interests even though they might have some more substantial interests or hobbies. Obviously liking trashy culture doesn't make you stupid, most people have some kind of mindless entertainment they enjoy when they want to switch off and relax but if your way of relaxing is different from everyone else's these kinds of conversations can get dull.

  10. Brooke says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 20114:51 pm 

    wow. you are not a "nerd" you're just self absorbed.

  11. Jordan says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 20114:57 pm 

    THANK YOU person above me!

    Listening to NPR and having interests different than others, doesn't make you better than someone else. And liking things such as quirky movies and talk radio, and being ignorant to pop culture, isn't the reason you can't talk to people. I enjoy all those things, and I can carry on a conversation with someone while not being an idiot…….it's not that hard.

  12. Jordan says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 20114:58 pm 

    And please don't drag Hermione down with you. She did nothing to anyone.

  13. College Chick says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 20115:03 pm 

    You sound really pretentious in this piece, a little like you researched things to sound smarter. And yes, you go to Columbia but which is very prestigious but that comment about your school embracing nerds? As opposed to what? You're basically saying that colleges other than yours dont appreciate intellectuals. I found that really offensive no matter what school you go to, there's always someone who is at the top of their class and I'm willing to bet they're a hell of a lot more humble than you. I just think that you should reconsider the way you say things in this piece, it seems as though you write people off the way you think they write you off. Who's to say what you like talking about means more than the rest of your peers? And just because they aren't as obnoxious about what they like as you are doesn't make them dumber than you.

  14. Melissa says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 20118:04 pm 

    Being a nerd doesn't have to make you socially awkward (as you seemingly described yourself). I have many quirks and alternative interests, but I seem totally normal to the outside world and am often the life of the party. I'm not disdainful towards other people. Still, in many aspects, I could be considered a nerd. It sounds like someone needs to get off their high horse and address a few personal problems, because I'm a nerd who doesn't suffer from any of the afflictions you wrote about.

  15. Maddie says:
    Tue, 14th Jun 20119:44 pm 

    It's probably not that you legitimately can't get over the fact that people don't have perfect grammar and might misuse the word literally, it's just that you don't actually care enough to try. I also find it surprising that you have "manicured nails and perfectly groomed eyebrows" but you look down on girls for wearing shoes that you find uncomfortable because they like the way they look. Either way, you sound like kind of bitch. And a hypocrite.

  16. Dom says:
    Wed, 15th Jun 201111:39 am 

    I'm ashamed to have given this page traffic. Anyone who calls themselves a nerd as an insult to everyone else ("you don't have the capacity to match me intellectually, no one understands me") is not worth the time.

  17. Claire says:
    Wed, 15th Jun 201112:52 pm 

    I know! What even defines a nerd anymore? And since when does having intellectual pursuits automatically make you socially-awkward?

  18. amy says:
    Thu, 16th Jun 201110:02 am 

    i wish i could like this a thousand times over

  19. Brenda says:
    Thu, 16th Jun 20112:23 pm 

    Hi Freya! Thanks for your thoughtful comment. That is exactly what I was trying to say. I know (and love) that everyone has unique ideas and hobbies, it just seems difficult to talk about them in the type of social situation I describe. What I mean to say is that I am much more interested by your scrapbooking or coffe mug collection than by what happened on The Bachelor last night!

    Best,
    Brenda S.

  20. Brenda says:
    Thu, 16th Jun 20112:25 pm 

    Dear Breeze,
    That is a great definition for a nerd! Thanks for your thoughtful comment!

    Best,
    Brenda S.

  21. Brenda says:
    Thu, 16th Jun 20112:27 pm 

    Dear Joyce,
    I would like to hear more about you dancing on the side to pay for computer pieces! It sounds like a great story!

    Best,
    Brenda S

  22. Brenda says:
    Thu, 16th Jun 20112:30 pm 

    Dear Sarah,
    I was a cheerleader in high school too! Albeit, it was a very small squad and we cheered for the soccer team since our school didn't have a football team. It is great that you can enjoy all of your eclectic interests without paying attention to classifications or stereotypes.

    Best,
    Brenda S.

  23. Brenda says:
    Thu, 16th Jun 20112:30 pm 

    Thanks Chole, I am glad you saw some of yourself in the piece.

    Best,
    Brenda S.

  24. K says:
    Thu, 16th Jun 20117:21 pm 

    This article is literally as if Narcissus wrote it.

  25. K says:
    Thu, 16th Jun 20117:24 pm 

    correction: this article is literally the work of narcissus.

  26. LKK says:
    Thu, 16th Jun 20119:58 pm 

    Jeez, people, relax! If a girl (who knows herself best as a person) can't consider herself a nerd without being bitched at and criticized by readers who can't say that they've met her, then my respect for commenters on this site has majorly decreased. Have some heart, and let the girl be as nerdy as she thinks she is!

  27. Brenda says:
    Fri, 17th Jun 201110:23 am 

    Thanks for the support LKK!
    Best,
    Brenda S.

  28. Lisa says:
    Fri, 1st Jul 20115:52 pm 

    Hey fellow nerdette… I am really a nerd too, i can talk for hours about superpowers, and I know more about Einstein and Bohr than I know about any super model, and i bake a pie every march 14.
    I can also fix a bike, or a car.
    But you seem to be a bit of a buzz kill. Personally i LOVE chick flicks, and I need great sound around me or no soud at all. this doesent mean a lot of bass, but I need to be able to define every instrument in the music. I need to find the system (Did you know that mathmatical intelligense is often conected to the instrumental intelligence?).
    my need to find systems are really my most geeky factor. I watched the Dolche and Gabbana comercial for the numbered perfumes for hours. There is NO system what so ever. If people ask me to reamember names or numbers i'll often construct a kind of equation to do so. Noisy places aren't great for me ither, and i cant figure out a lot of social drama. BUT i really enjoy the girls company, and to watch their movies as well as watching documentaries. I really like when people respond positively to my outfits, so therefore i might start a conversation with a compliment about clothes. All i am saying is that im not to dimentional, and i am more than the label "nerd"

  29. Sab says:
    Fri, 8th Jul 201111:23 pm 

    I noticed this too!!! So annoying!!!

  30. Sab says:
    Fri, 8th Jul 201111:28 pm 

    I go to Columbia, and Columbia is NOT "nerd-friendly". You're suggesting that you have to be a "nerd" to be intelligent and that is certainly not true. Everyone at Columbia is intelligent, and beyond that they have their own personalities, preferences, and passions. How dare you label Columbia "nerd-friendly" or anything at all for that matter?

  31. AlissaLee17 says:
    Sat, 9th Jul 20115:51 pm 

    Right on!

  32. Alli says:
    Sun, 10th Jul 20115:00 pm 

    Hooray!!! I also am a nerd and being a bio major, I tend to get drunk and talk about how amazing and complicated the evolution of worms (seriously, they're pretty awesome) is! Haha! It drives me insane when people say literally before a metaphor, however it usually conjures up a pretty entertaining mental image. So I say cheers to you and I'm glad I'm not the only college student out there waking up to Morning Edition :-)

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