This Post Grad Life: Is My Office Chair Going to Chunk Me Up?

[Life after college is different for every single grad. While some might be going to grad school, others enter the real world in attempts to make their dreams come true pay off their student loans. We've been following Charlsie on her post-grad journey since September, but now it's time to check see what someone else's post-grad life brings.  (But don't worry - Charlsie will still be writing!) So ladies, allow me to introduce you to Brittany and her tumultuous life after college.]

By Brittany

Things are getting a little depressing on the post-grad front.

At night, I enjoy watching The Biggest Loser while I shove a ton of pizza down my throat because I’m so malnourished from a busy day at work. I don’t point and laugh, but I certainly indulge in one of those internal chuckles and self-satisfaction that I don’t have ripples the size of a tidal wave on my hips.

During the day, I sit at my desk chair and mindlessly dig into my almond jar for protein and a source of movement. I get up to take a well deserved pee after constantly drinking water at my desk or to occasionally waltz over to the local coffee shop to chug some more caffeine venom in espresso shot form. Sometimes, I chose to accompany my coffee with a apple caramel muffin. Why? Because I’ve been working so hard all day and it’s only $1.49! The best part of all this is I go back to my desk, hunch over my keyboard, write an email or five and eat the muffin faster than you can say, “typo.”

On weekends, I sprawl out on my couch, catch up on The Bachelorette and eat left over pizza because I’m too poor and lazy to make it to Lund’s for some Coconut Water and a healthy buffet meal.  It’s OK Brittany. I think to myself with a warm blanket of comfort pizza sauce around my soul, you’ve been working hard – and you went to yoga once this week. Namaste. 

I work out occasionally, usually in the beginning of the week – when I’m fresh out of a weekend and ready to start on a new leaf. Then, after spending ten hours at work emailing and touching my face, I give up around Tuesday. I have to walk up three flights of stairs to get to my office, so this is usually my alibi. I eat like a twelve year old boy. Today, I bought an $8 pot roast from the grocery store and poured chocolate sauce on my healthy fruit popsicle.

Work stress=eat less more.

So based on all that I just poured onto the College Candy online paper. . .I’M FREAKING OUT.

My eating and work out habits have definitely changed since graduation. And I’m waiting for that bittersweet moment where I wake up one morning with a fupa, three double chins and kankles. Ok – I know that’s being a little dramatic, but I’m starting to feel like I have no control of my diet and workout habits. I don’t have enough time to think about it all! I’m constantly stressed about my job. And well, I’m hungry…a lot.

The biggest freak out I had recently was after I read an info-graphic online that said if you sit for six hours or more a day, you lose an average of fourteen years off your life. Seriously!? I sit ten hours plus in one day! I’m going to die when I’m thirty and a half! After doing a few of my breathing exercises, I called bull sh*t. Hugh Hefner is almost 100 years old now, and he’s been laying on his back for 90 if them.

I know it’s all about adjusting to a new routine, I did it when my parents shoved me in an 8′x8′ dorm room with a Tupperware bin full of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. But for some reason, being on my own and struggling to find enough time and energy to cook fresh and run around my apartment isn’t cutting it for me. I know I’m going to get used to it, but I’m letting myself have my mini freak out session that comes with every life changing moment in the book.

I’m counting on myself to eventually sink into this new, grown-up girl routine (even if I’m stressed and always busy). I’ll eventually find a strict pattern I can follow, learn how to purchase groceries when I’m not raging hungry after work and learn how to budget my money towards muffins once a week instead of four. And learn how to channel my stress energy into a run – even if I’m a little tired.

In fact, I’m going to use my well-earned big girl job money to buy some 80′s workout music on iTunes right NOW.