Even though the human race is evolving (well… if watching “Jersey Shore” and reading trashy gossip blogs counts as “evolution”), we have all these new diseases and disorders to watch out for. Ever since Blackberry Neck was established as an actual “disfiguring disease,” I felt it to be my personal duty to spread awareness about other technical conditions that you may or may not be at risk for.
1. Internet Addiction – Do you check your social networking circuit (Facebook, Email, Twitter, blog roll, etc…) more than 5 times per day? Do you prefer to keep your laptop or smartphone with you at all times? Do you spend way too much time and money buying stuff you don’t need online? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be suffering from Internet Addiction. While it’s kind of a joke here in the US, Korea actually has rehab centers for this “disease.”
2. Text Thumbs Trauma – Whether you’re sending rapid-fire-reply texts to a potential love interest, having a heated debate (that started out of boredom, but has now become just annoying), or tweeting every unimportant detail of your life to hundreds of people who don’t even know you, Text Thumbs Trauma (or TTT) always comes along when you don’t want it to. you can try shaking out your hands or cracking your knuckles, but the only true cure for this inconvenient condition is some hand-free (and phone-free) entertainment.
3. Guido’s Ear – Blaring bass-heavy music through ear buds is definitely one of the best feelings in the world, but the side effects are hardly worth it. If you’ve been noticing hearing loss, ear ringing, or a repetitive back beat that you can’t get out of your head no matter what, you may be suffering from Guido’s Ear. While some of the effects might be long-term and/or permanent, there’s a simple way to not make things any worse: turn down the volume — if only by a few notches!
4. Glazey Dazey Lazy Eye – You know the feeling; that blank, dead, half-asleep feeling in your eyes after staring at a computer screen all day (or all night). The second you close your laptop or turn off the TV, you feel as though you’re dreaming and that you could pass out at any second. In order to avoid Glazey-Dazey syndrome, try to spend only 3 late-night hours in front of an LED screen (as compared to your usual 5) and, um, try to blink a little more often.
5. ITRL Disorder – Better known as “Is this real life? Disorder, ITRL is what happens when you have trouble separating fictional from reality. It’s when you spend a whole day catching up on “Gossip Girl” and forget that you’re not actually some rich girl living in NYC, or when you spend the day playing Tetris and all you can think about is new ways to stack the blocks. ITRL is only as bad as you allow it to be. Spending just a few less hours in a fantasy world will keep you much more connected with the real one.
Do you get sucked into a fantasy online world every now and then? Or maybe you consider yourself to be (just a little) addicted to the internet? Do you think these “disorders” pose any kind of actual medical or physical threat? Let us know!