He Said/She Said: Shameful Attraction

[He Said/She Said is a series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

By Lauren

I have a confession to make. And I’m not proud of it. In fact, on the list of things I’m most ashamed of, this one ranks higher than DVRing Jerseylicious (as in, setting up a series recording) and that semester when I didn’t wash my sheets once (even though I did have guests over…frequently).

So here goes.

[Breathes in heavily.]

I have a major weakness for boys who cock their hats off to the side at a 45 degree angle.

There. I said it.

But it’s not my fault. You have no idea how many guys like this exist at Michigan. They’re…everywhere. And while a lot of them might be majorly douchey, a lot of them are also really, really hot. What can I say? I like a guy with swagger. And confidence. And good jeans (because the tilted hat is always paired with a hot pair of Sevens…)

Judge me if you will (and lord knows you will…harshly), but I know I’m not the only one with a soft spot for guys – and qualities guys possess – we all know we should hate…and often claim we do.

Like the jerk. Do I really even need to talk about this? Every girl on EARTH says she just wants a nice guy, someone to treat her right and blah blah blah. And what happens? The guy with the cocked hat wham bam thank you maams her and she’s smitten as a kitten, following him around like a sad, hungry puppy dog (in eyeliner and tight jeans that make her butt look good). Meanwhile, the nice guy she’s been leading on for 6 months just sits there until she comes around to have him pick up the pieces.

And muscles. Sure, we’re all “Ew, Ronnie is a roid rager,” and yeah, that’s probably true…but you can’t deny that he’s got a pretty sick bod. And that maybe if he didn’t break Sammie’s glasses or have that problem in his anus, you’d want to take him to the smush room.

OK, so maybe Ronnie is a bad example. But as much as we’re all “I don’t need muscles – I just like a guy with a little squish who I can snuggle up with,” would anyone really toss Tyson Beckford, Ryan Reynolds or Zac Efron out of their bed? Hell to the no.

And then there’s money. Look, I’m an independent woman just as much as Beyonce the next girl; I want to be successful and powerful and make a lot of money on my own. I don’t need a man to support me…. But I kinda want one. Not to support me totally, but you can’t deny the joy that comes with being showered with lavish gifts, going on amazing vacations, and watching The Bachelorette on a giant screen TV…from the tub (a joy I only understand after house sitting for some rich-ass people in college. My god – that is the LIFE).

Money doesn’t buy happiness, sure, but a guy with money is inherently sexier. Just ask anyone who’s ever had the urge to get naked with Hugh Hefner. (Note: I’d totally get naked with Hugh Hefner. And that, my friends, is another one to add to my list of shame.)

And you know what else is sexy in that “I don’t want anyone to know I think this” sorta way?

-Madras shorts
-Boat Shoes
-The “I spent a ton of time doing my hair to make it look like I didn’t spend any time doing it” hairstyle
-An Ivy League education (Or, for me at least, any college education that didn’t happen at Ohio State.)
-Tight-ish jeans (Note: not hipster skinny jeans. But actually, now that I think about it, some guys do look hot in hipster skinny jeans….)
-Guys running shirtless
-Guys in sweaty shorts at the gym
-Guys who get manicures and/or pedicures

Shameful, I know. But at least I’m being honest, unlike the rest of you who drool at 90% of these things (and more) but would never admit it.

Speaking of which, maybe it’s time we all admit our shameful attractions. Sound off below. And after you’re done with that, hop on over to CoedMagazine.com to see what guys are attracted to even though they’ll never admit it…