True Story: I Cheated on My Boyfriend

I’m not exactly proud of it. Not exactly. But I will proudly say that it’s the best decision I ever made. Now before you start calling me names and reciting the seventh commandment in my ear, hear me out. Cheating on my boyfriend may not have been right, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t necessary.

Like most freshmen, I came to college with relics celebrating my high school life. Picture frames of my friends cluttered my desk while my best-guy-friend-turned-boyfriend stayed stitched into my heart: we had started dating weeks before our senior prom, and I felt like I had been living in a fairy tale ever since. He was funny, romantic, encouraging and close to his family, he was everything I ever wanted. And even though my parents didn’t approve and we were accepted to different universities, we decided to continue our relationship into college. I mean, he was only a hundred miles away, a distance easily diminished by a weekend train ride.

It worked out wonderfully. He drove down on Friday afternoons for dates that lasted until Monday mornings; he got along with all my new friends and we all frequented my college town’s hotspots together. We were both glued to our phones throughout the weekdays and we Skype’d at night while we fell asleep alongside our laptops. Against so many external odds, I was successfully maintaining a long-distance relationship. It was “perfect,” and I couldn’t remember a time when I was happier.

After a year and a half of sweet texts and weekend getaways, my boyfriend made the decision to leave his four-year university and attend our hometown community college. He moved out of his apartment and back into his parents’ house at the same time I transitioned from a single dorm room to a bunk bed – in a room shared with two other girls. There goes our privacy! Even more so, my parents had dished their disapproval of my love life to me all summer, telling me that I was so young and holding myself back. But he was really good at relationships: he always put in the work to solve problems, reassured me of our relationship and made sure we were happy together. So I defended him to others, even though I was starting my sophomore year with a new part-time job and an exciting internship opportunity.

And even though I was busy, tired and over-committed, I felt myself starting to get restless. I mean, college is supposed to be that time where you find yourself, right? Yes, and I was. I was finding that the person I came in as a year ago may not be who I was anymore, and I shouldn’t feel guilty for that…

…but I did. It’s not that I wasn’t happy with us, but it wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I felt guilty for wanting out of a relationship in which there was nothing wrong, at least nothing worth ending it all for. I was eighteen years old and with who I thought was “the love of my life,” the greatest guy I imagined I’ll ever meet and someone who could make a great husband and father someday. I shouldn’t want to break up with him; I should make sure I hold on to him until I want to married, even if that isn’t for a very, very long time! Right? At the beginning of the relationship, these facts were a dream, but it had eventually turned into a nightmare. And I cowardly thought that the only way out was to make him leave first.

So I cheated on him. It was a stupid, impulsive action with a friend of a friend and it only happened once.

I wish I had been brave enough to just break up with him before I did it; for that, I’m forever apologetic. Even though our relationship was so great, I now believe that the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing. But even so, here’s the forgotten obvious: my boyfriend and I didn’t have a reason to stop being together, and none of us could see that there also weren’t any reasons left to stay together either – and that alone is a completely valid reason to leave.

First love dies hard, but I look back on that relationship with irreplaceable memories and without hard feelings: just because a relationship ends badly doesn’t mean the relationship itself was bad. Afterwards, I put down my cell phone, got closer to friends, had other relationships and seized the rest my life – free of the guilt I used to have for seizing my college experience while he was complaining about his own, switching schools and moving back home. I did so many things I would’ve probably never done if we were still together, on our way to planning a wedding and brainstorming baby names. Again, I’m not saying that cheating was the right thing to do. It was wrong, but I did do it. Call me a slut and a whore and whatever else, but I will still always know that the worst thing that I’ve done to someone else turned out to be the best thing I ever did for myself. And I’ve never been happier.

What do you think? Does cheating always mean that the cheater is intentionally hurtful, or are there times when it’s also a reflection of the relationship?



  1. chelsea says:

    I went through the same thing….my high school boyfriend and I stayed together throughout college. We went to the same college, but were heading in different directions. I cheated, but it made me realize that I didn't love him like I use to and neither did he. I am now in a relationship that is amazing and I could never dream of doing the same to him. It may be wrong, but it brought about a new light in our relationship.

    1. criolle johnny says:

      Soooo, whyinthehell should the NEW guy trust you? Perhaps you should read this:

      College is a time to grow. Pick up an econ text and look up "opportunity cost".

  2. criolle johnny says:

    Are you glossing over the part where you kept him on the back burner while you went out with your "friend of a friend"? I read that paragraph three times and still cannot tell.
    If you cannot be honest with yourself about that part, you're just spinning the hamster wheel. Were you still with him while you were looking for a better deal?
    If so, this new fella has a problem and doesn't know. He has a hypergamous girlfriend.

  3. vicky says:

    I think this happens to most people. Its what comes out of it that matters. I did this right after i graduated high school. I was dating my boyfriend (at the time) for over 2 years and made this stupid decision. I still feel bad about it, but it made me end a relationship that was not going to work out. Now im dating my boyfriend of 4 years and as mentioned in the comment above.. i would NEVER do it again. I learned how terrible it feels but it also changes you as a person. With that said.. i still cant understand girls who cheat on multiple boyfriends.. now some people need to learn their lesson.

  4. Bri says:

    There's no excuse for cheating, but at least do the courtesy of breaking up with the boyfriend first always. It is the classy thing to do.

  5. Chanel says:

    I don't think you're a whore. I do think you're kind of a bitch for telling the whole world that cheating on a nice guy was the "best decision you ever made". It wasn't bad enough that you cheated on this poor guy, you had to pretty much brag about it by writing this piece of crap. I would feel so hurt if my ex did this.

    1. Lesley says:

      that is EXACTLY what i thought when i read this! While its good that you learned something, its very disrespectful to write an article like this. Imagine if you were in his place. That doesn't make anyone feel good.

  6. Rebecca says:

    I'm sorry but quite frankly cheating is never right and it isn't the act that makes it so wrong–it's the motivation behind it. While I do think that the lesson you learned is important, it would have a much better impact if it didn't sound as if it's something to be proud of. Yes, you got the result that you wanted, but the ends don't justify the means; no matter what people say.

    I would hope that if you're still in contact with your ex, that you would alert them that such an article exists. The poor guy deserved a real breakup–no matter how afraid you were.

    1. Bee says:

      There's absolutely NO excuse for cheating. It really hurts when it happens to you. You should have broken up with him first. All I can say is karma and you will get yours soon.

  7. jgrhodes says:

    I'm probably gonna get slammed got this but I totally agree with the author here. I don't thing she was bragging or glossing over anything. She stated the facts in the simplest terms. She cheated and it was wrong, there's no arguing with that, but the consequences and the aftermath has lead her to a place in her life where she is truly happy and therefore she has no regrets. I've been there. I was 19 when I got engaged and we were together for 3 years. He wasn't the greatest guy in the world but he loved me a lot more than I loved him and when things started getting really rough I called it quits. It nearly destroyed him from what I was told (I didn't speak to him after) and I felt TERRIBLE about that. I felt like a horrible human being. But making that choice, no matter how much it hurt him, was the right thing for ME and therefore I have no regrets.

    I also firmly believe I was a STUPID F***ING C**T for thinking I was ready to get married at 19. Just throwing that out there.

    1. natasiarose says:

      I agree with the author too. I bet the ex-bf isn't as devastated over his 18 year old gf cheating on him. By the time he is 25 he will probably barely remember it. People get over these things.

    2. Anonymous says:

      The man left his future pursuits to be closer to the author. He changed his life to better suit her needs. You honestly think he'll forget something like that? Assuming they're the same age, you're pretty much saying, "meh after seven years of hell he'll be fine and that makes it ok to cheat because you couldn't do things the right way?" You clearly don't understand love and I actually hope people like you never get the opportunity.

      I'll give all the respects for someone ending a good relationship because they were no longer satisfied. But to do so in such a pathetic manner is unforgivable. If a person cannot handle the concept of commitment don't commit and let that be known before hand, it's just that simple.

      And the reason why people get over these things, usually is because they've given up on truth, honestly, love, and respect. I would love to read your reaction about someone you love and are in-love with cheat on you because they don't want to be with you anymore.

  8. Ren says:

    I'm sorry, I'm trying to be sympathetic but I just don't think that the author is right in what she did, nor has the right to feel so happy when she clearly destroyed what seemed to be a beautiful relationship with a great guy who didn't deserve being treated that way.

    I don't care how scared you were of breaking up with him, what you did WAS NOT the right thing, no matter what it lead to for you. You know, you talk so much about the "college experience" but I don't think you realize that it's not only about dating and having fun, it's also about starting to make your own decisions and making them as a grown up. You clearly failed at that by doing something that only a child or a coward would do.

    I happen to be going to through the same thing with my boyfriend right now. I also want to have other relationships and do college-y things but I would never in a million years imagine myself cheating on him simply because it's too hard to just be honest.

  9. rachel says:

    "I was eighteen years old and with who I thought was “the love of my life,” the greatest guy I imagined I’ll ever meet and someone who could make a great husband and father someday. I shouldn’t want to break up with him; I should make sure I hold on to him until I want to married, even if that isn’t for a very, very long time! Right? "
    this part right here really spoke to me…i went through the same thing, we dated for a year and three months, long distance at college and i only saw him once every month and a half…and now that we have broken up, I'm scared that I will never find anyone else that I love that much or find anyone else that will love me that much…any thoughts or advice here?

    1. natasiarose says:

      You will find someone else who loves you that much, probably even more. Everytime a relationship has ended, the other person has told me "You will never find someone else who loves you as much as I do." And you know what? It's not true! You will find someone else. :-)

    2. Robyn says:

      I'm sure you'll find someone else that will love you as much or more… you're still very young, and the odds of you not finding someone else ever are really slim! It's better to be out there and looking for your soulmate (or whatever) than to be in a relationship that isn't right. And, you never really know where life is going to take you. Maybe he was the right guy and it was just the wrong time, but even if he was the wrong guy, I'm sure you'll find somebody else. :)

  10. Self Righteous says:

    'Cheating on my boyfriend may not have been right, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t necessary.' That's utter BS. You took the cowards way out, now don't try and justify it. A simple, 'I was wrong and I'm sorry' would have been fine. Not once during the entire article did you say you felt sorry about cheating on him. It's not right, and no matter how you try to justify it, it never will be.

  11. Alex says:

    I completely understand. The same thing happened to me, I had a boyfriend during freshmen year and we spent every waking moment together. I started to get restless and I cheated because I wasn't strong enough to tell him that I wanted out of our relationship. I understand what your saying and I also understand that the lesson you learned about hurting others was one of the worst that you could have learned in life.

  12. Bee says:

    There's absolutely NO excuse for cheating. It really hurts when it happens to you. You should have broken up with him first. All I can say is karma and you will get yours soon.

  13. I would raise a glass to what you did, and to the fact that you did something most people have trouble with at least once in life. You were honest.

    I think what happened, happened and you did well with what you could. Anyone who thinks they have the authority to tell you were wrong is mistaken. Cheating is something that is wrong, but it is different for everyone, as every situation is different. Of course you can never see yourself cheating on someone, until it happens. These girls who are sitting up on their pure pedestal telling you that you were wrong and that cheating is never ever acceptable? Kick that chair out from underneath them, because they will fall eventually anyway. The only people who have any business on giving good advice about cheating are those who have done it. It's a bad reflection on people when they give advice or try to influence others when they have NO fucking clue what they're talking about. So you did something not so great, like you said; it was the best thing that ever happened to you.

    Congratulations. I'm happy for you.

    1. Xion says:

      Well aren't you something ! You have no "clue" either of what people have been through and blatantly think they have no feelings that can relate to this kind of story . I suppose you've been in the boyfriends shoes ? Now I'd like to quote on something you wrote " The only people who have any business on giving good advice about cheating are those who have done it " Is there any good advice someone can give to another person after doing something devastating and selfish in a relationship ?

      Congratulations . I'm not sure when your going to become an adult but get out of that preteen phase :).

  14. Caitlin-University of Alabama says:

    Ashley Lee, I think you've got some serious balls by not writing this anonymously. Major props for that. Cheating sucks no matter what end you're on. You deserve to be happy, and you obviously weren't in your previous relationship so you saw a way out, even if it wasn't necessarily "right". People will sit here and judge you, but they have no right to sit on their high horse and pretend they're any better than you. I think it would have been worse if you stayed with your ex, got married, and lived unhappily ever after.

    1. JohnnyRiden says:

      ….What? With the same type of logic one could say the same thing about a serial killer because your not better than the killer….See the flaw in the logic? No "high horse" needed. She sunk. Simple as that. I can say easily that I am better than her because I have not cheated on a significant other thus far. I lose that ability if I ever cheat, but until then? Don't have to pretend because guess what? I'm a better person. It would have been worse to get married and live unhappily ever after, but again, breaking up in a civilized manner isn't that hard if your not trash.

    2. Caitlin-University of Alabama says:

      Comparing cheating to a being a serial killer is a tad extreme. I don't think cheating is right, which I said. But I also don't think it's right for people to judge her. Also, I would highly suggest that you proof your comment before hitting the submit button when it's filled with grammatical errors that will make our writers cringe such as using "your" instead of "you're".

    3. JohnnyRiden says:

      English isn't my first language ,but thank you. I'm trying pretty hard to get a good grasp of English grammar and spelling so pointing out any mistakes is good help. My point is extreme ,but the principal beneath is the same. Judging for something you you're self haven't done would only be ok in cases where you haven't done it yourself. Stealing, killing, cheating, etc really any situation could apply could be used with the "You haven't done/been through it, so how can you judge me?" stance.

    4. Ahsan says:

      Most of the people here are not judging her, because she cheated, which she herself admitted is wrong. What people are accusing her of, emotionally damaging her ex. Which in my opinion is right too. See, he sacrified so much for the relationship, the fact that she is admiiting everything he did for her itself highlights it. And what did he get? he got cheated on and got ditched. Is that all her so called love is? Yes, she has a right to be happy, but none has a right to hurt people.

  15. Ali says:

    There's nothing wrong with having wanted to leave your boyfriend, no matter how amazing he was. But being cheated on can really mess people up for a long time–personally as well as in future relationships–and I'm not sure there's any excuse for doing that to anyone, let alone to someone who you apparently really cared about.

    I sympathize with your experience, and I'm glad you admitted it was cowardly–but if you had just had the balls to be honest about your feelings and break up with him it STILL would've been the best decision of your life and would have been a lot more respectable/ less hurtful of a decision. The main thing I take issue with in this article is calling cheating on your boyfriend to end the relationship "necessary"; there were other options.

  16. I appreciate the authors honesty. I may not agree with what she did but the honesty is cool.

  17. Sean says:

    I think this story is complete and total bull. You admit that he was an amazing guy, treated you right, and really tried his best to make your relationship work. He MOVED INTO HIS PARENTS' HOUSE so you two could be together. Do you think he honestly wanted to do that? He made a huge sacrifice for a girl that he thought deserved his sentiments….look who's laughing now. It's people like you that are ruining guys for everybody else. For every nice guy like you just ruined, there are about ten douchebags that are cleaning up on college campuses. Congratulations, you just fell into that. I hope you enjoy your "college experience". I heard the beds at frats are really comfortable, especially after those awesome theme parties. I'm sure you'll find your man through that whole "college scene".

    Also, coming into college in a long term relationship? I'm sure you guys were "more in love than all those other kids", right? I guess he really was the one for you. Let me just say this, not just for you, but for everyone who reads this. It doesn't work. Stop beating a dead horse here and actually take a leap into college. You'll enjoy your new experience more that way.

  18. elizabeth says:

    Oh, my god, are you serious? Emotionally damaging a person– whose only crime was loving you– was the best decision of your life? Karma is going to WRECK you.

    1. blublub says:

      :D any chance your in your 20's and single ?

  19. Kacie P. says:

    You're not a slut or a whore, and people shouldn't be jumping on you the way that some of these commenters are. Last summer, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me after 2 1/2 years of a crappy, on-again-off-again relationship neither of us had had the will or the spine to end. Was it a shitty thing to do? Yes, of course it was. Should he (or I) have had the balls (or self-respect) to break up long before then? Yes, but we hadn't, and we probably weren't going to for a long time. His cheating wasn't right, but in the end it had the best outcome for both of us, and it sounds like your relationship was the same way. You're not being a bitch for saying that you're happier now, you're being honest, and I think that's definitely better to your ex than a self-flagellating article about how it was wrong to cheat on him and you're so, so sorry. Such an article would be true, but not the whole truth, and that would be no better than having cheated on him in the first place.

  20. Julia says:

    I totally understand where you were coming from! I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half and the day after I hooked up with somebody else. I too felt guilty for being with another guy shortly after but I agree that it has been the best thing for me! Sometimes you have to put yourself first and worry about what will be best for you. I feel like after a long term relationship, the best thing a girl can do is find ways to become strong and improve herself rather than sulk. I know it wasn't right for you to cheat, but good for you for finding ways to improve yourself. So many girls fall into the pattern of relying on a guy for happiness but it sounds like you found yourself.

    1. unknown says:

      Looks like you relied on 2 guys for happiness, good job!

  21. Thatgirl says:

    You didn’t deserve this sweet guy anyway. Have fun getting screwed over by horny college guys. I agree with Sean, girls like you ruin nice guys and turn them into the douchebags their girlfriends on them with.

    Anyone who says that getting cheated on by your first love is easy to get over probably has never been in love themselves. It can cripple a person. In this case a sweet, nice, caring boy.

    I give you props for having the balls to write this. Your ex is probably reading it and crying his eyes out now. Congrats.

  22. tori says:

    the reason you cheated on him is because you knew there was no reason to break up with him, so you went ahead and created a reason for HIM to want to break up with YOU. or so that you could break up with him and have a solid reason, that he deserved better, right? you chose the coward's way out of a relationship. you knew you would feel guilty for breaking up with him for no reason, because it would break his heart, so instead you cheated and wanted to make him WANT to not be with you. so you would be more of a victim; so that he could move on; etc etc. cheating is wrong, no matter what. yes, you "made the best decision" FOR YOURSELF. you are not a whore or a slut, but you are selfish and inconsiderate and a coward. and the decision you made reflected that perfectly. so yes, it was the perfect decision for a person like you.

  23. justmy2cents says:

    You can't keep punishing yourself forever. I hope you never do that to another guy and that you've learned to not take a cowardly way out. You are not a slut or whore. You were young, selfish, and cowardly and I hope you learn from your mistake. Unfortunately, statistics show that a good 30% of people cheat even though they could never see themselves cheating. It happens. And I'm sure he was better off not being in a relationship with someone who wasn't committed anymore.

    I do appreciate the honesty though. I have an ex-friend who cheated on her bf b/c their relationship wasn't going well…and she NEVER admitted that she cheated. Emotional cheating (complete with the lies and covering up) is even worse than physical cheating, in my opinion.

  24. Joanna says:

    I think its not fair how when men cheat they are the scum of the earth. However when its woman we rationalize why it what and how it was the best thing for me. Cheating is cheating regardless who did it and why. How about you grow a pair and be honest with this person about why you want out. Its never easy but better then hurting someone selfishly..

  25. selma says:

    Honestly you are a bitch and a whore and I actually hope that karma will get you right! I always hated bitches like you trying to justify their own decisions by trying to gather a little sympathy from whores just like yourself,yes I am talking about you posting how you can relate and understand. You will get what you deserve sooner or later,no matter if I wish you just that!

    1. criolle johnny says:

      A woman cannot be a bitch AND a whore at the same time.
      A whore sleeps around and jumps into bed with any man who wants her.
      A bitch sleeps around and jumps into bed with any man who wants her … EXCEPT ME, DAMMIT!
      Gotcha, y'all thought I was serious!

  26. Shameless Cunt says:

    "Call me a slut and a whore and whatever else, but I will still always know that the worst thing that I’ve done to someone else turned out to be the best thing I ever did for myself."

    you ARE a slut and a whore, I hope this dude's revenge-banging your sister. now get back in the fucking kitchen

  27. Shameless Cunt says:

    "Call me a slut and a whore and whatever else, but I will still always know that the worst thing that I’ve done to someone else turned out to be the best thing I ever did for myself."

  28. Seles says:

    you know the exact same thing happened to me, except that i was in your ex’s shoes…. i hope you never ever fall in love with someone like i did, because it’s already been two years since then and i havent been able to forget it….. and the pain is still there.
    i dont blame you for anything, but i dont think you did the right/brave thing either, that’s just my opinion.

  29. MeHoe says:

    What a twat!

  30. Reno says:

    "college is supposed to be that time where you find yourself, right?" And you found yourself, you found out you lack integrity, a trait which will haunt you for the rest of your life.

  31. Suzy Pepper says:

    I am very proud of you for writing this. The world is not black and white.

  32. Manda says:

    Wow! I can't believe how many haters there are. Although the author did make a mistake and do something wrong, she acknowledges that it was a "cowardly" move. The message, of coarse, is to be brave enough to leave, even though there is no reason to leave, simply because there is no reason to stay. Hopefully, the lesson from this article is to leave before it gets so bad that you desperately look for anyway out. How many relationships are there of complacent couples that are together, not because they really want to be, but because they are too scared to leave their comfort zone?
    Yes, cheating is never the answer, but the ability to learn from our mistakes and try and extract some good from it is an ability that strengthens and gives someone the bravery to face whatever obstacles or temptations in life. And thinking that you are above cheating is only going to make you not have your guard up when in reality you are as capable as anyone else. The reality is, people make mistakes, they cheat, and they are probably going to continue to cheat for the rest of time, whether they are brave enough to say it aloud or keep it in the dark.
    Thank you to the author for her honesty and sharing with everyone what so many of us are too scared to share.

    1. Wow says:

      You can't believe how many people hate cheaters? Are you serious? Sure she learned from her mistakes, AT THE VERY LEAST, but turn on a tv talk to a friend, hell call a hotline for and speak to someone. The fact that anyone can condone these actions based on the pretense of cheating to create a way out is repulsive.

  33. Kat says:

    I can't believe all the comments on this… I wish more people were brave enough to be this honest! I don't think cheating is ever 'okay', but I hate it when people are so quick to judge people who have cheated. And not only that, but they also believe that if you've cheated you can be subjected to physical abuse, public humiliation, and other terrible things, because 'you deserved it'. I'm sorry, but I think people just have their priorities all out of order. I think that, while, yeah, breaking up with someone you aren't happy with, or that you just simply have the urge to cheat on (which is a sign you probably aren't so happy…) before you hook up with someone else is ideal, it doesn't always happen that way. I think that in today's society, people put so much emphasis on cheating as being the worst thing you can do to someone in a relationship, but it's honestly not. It hurts to be betrayed, but we have to remember that there are other things that hurt, too. And just because one person cheated, and the other didn't, doesn't mean that the other can write off every bad thing they've done in the relationship. Sometimes they really have done nothing. Every situation is different. I, personally, have been on both ends. And while it's completely heartbreaking to be cheated on, there are worse things. Cheating is still wrong. But I think it would be a lot easier for more people to be honest like this if everyone wasn't so judgmental about it.

  34. The gageberry says:

    I think that this is a very sad story. I’m a male that has been cheated on before by my own ex girlfriend. This guy that you explain to be one of the most perfect guys ever is now probably a bitter man that will never ever trust another female. Ok, maybe not ever ever but it will stick with him for a very long time. He will most likely hurt and treat women like the worst of beings if he is a person like me that put his trust into someone soo much and in the end only got hurt. It’s sad tha you can be so selfish as to not think of anybody else but yourself. You know, whenever I had a girlfriend and I knew that I was falling more in love with someone else, before I cheated I always broke up with the person before I cheated. It was out of respect for the other person so that even though they weren’t the right one for me at the time or ever, at least they weren’t going to get hurt.

  35. rad says:

    ur a bitch! ur new boyfriend is fucking your best friend when he claims he is playing ball with his friends.

  36. Marlin says:

    I don’t think there is anything wrong with what you did. The issue of cheating has many grey areas. Just like lying or stealing. They are ‘bad’ but stealing to feed yourself or telling a white lie when it wont hurt anyone is nothing to fret over.
    If your cheating gave you the courage to break things off and live a more fulfilling life, then GREAT. it’s YOUR life. AS long as you don’t hurt your bf… aka he doesn’t know. The only way he will be hurt is if he finds out. Otherwise its of no consequence to him. You were going to break up eventually anyway. This just gave you the incentive to act now rather than waste another year of your life before finding the courage to do it. So my only suggestion is: if you want to share your experience and life lessons with others online, do it under a fake name and change some of the give away details…. or is that considered LYING and thus SINFUL too???
    People need to be less judgmental and less aggressive and angry. There is no need for name calling. If you’ve been hurt by someone else, go talk to them about it. Don’t take it out on others.
    PS. surveys show that 60% of male and female have cheated at some point in their life…. unless you’re perfect and Mr/Ms Goody-Too-Shoes, remember that if you don’t have nothing nice to say, say nothing.
    On another note, Ashley, I would like to make an anonymous reference to your story in a book im writing. Pls email me directly to advise of your approval.
    I look forward to hearing from you!

    1. Jessie says:

      Also remember, do to others as you would have them do to you. But then again some people enjoy being weasels.

    2. jonathan says:

      you are wrong. There is a lot wrong with what she did. Read my post below to see my story of how my gf cheated on me, and how it is killing me.

  37. md says:

    Ok…I understand that cheating has grey areas, especially for those in abusive situations, but the writer was not in one of those situations. As for the “it being your right because it’s your life” concept, that is a totally cop-out. When you carry on a romantic relationship with someone and it goes as far as that person making a personal sacrifice for you, then it is no longer all about you. I personally lived with my college girlfriend for three years. I bent over backwards for her. Paid the bills and everything, took care of her. And after college when she went home, she claimed her mother didn’t approve of me (she didn’t like that I was of another race), and so she wished to break things off. It hurt, but I dealt with it and WOULD have been ok, except for while going through a bunch of unlabled cds from the old apartment, I stubbled upon a staggering amount of pictures and messages centered around her cheating on me. She even named the giant teddy bear I got her after one of the guys. When I confronted her, she gave the same selfish explanation contained in this post. I was devastated. It took years to get to the point where I could trust women enough to date again, and I nearly destroyed my current relationship because of my paranoid thoughts that my girl would cheat on me. So in closing, yes, our relationship was not meant to be, but the way she handled it messed me up for the better part of a decade while she was free to go about her life unhindered (even go so far as to occasionally send me info as to her relationships and life, despite me not wanting to know, and even going as far to envite me to her wedding) as if it was no big deal. I put my heart and soul into our relationship…and I was ruined by someone wanting to “experience life” that didn’t have enough respect for me to just break it off.

  38. josh says:

    Seems most people who side with the author use some line relating to how others shouldn't judge. Such a statement reflects your own immaturity. You will ALWAYS be judged by those around you for your actions, live with it and stop complaining. Your actions will have consequences.

  39. Adrian says:

    Its sad that you think this was the right thing to do in any way. How dare you tell all the,people on here that what you did was right in any way. Do you know what cheating can do to another person it can ruin the life and hearts of a innocent lover. Its just extremely pathetic you feel happy in any way. If you deserve to feel like anything you feel like shit.

  40. jennifer says:

    In life sometimes we do the right thing and sometimes we don't because the cowardly way is sometimes easier. No-one can judge, because we've all done it. What I understand from this is that you will always love him and thats the what you've got to hold onto. It's always a two way thing. If he was talking now we'd get the full picture – if he's as honest as you.

    1. Jake says:

      Many can judge, like those who have been cheated on and have had opportunities to cheat yet declined. Just off yourself and rid yourself of all these trials and tribulations of life if it is an easy way that you're after.

    2. Alexander says:

      No We have not all spread our legs For another man to put his dick innn This woman is pathetic And I do not fucking care if she is happy and did what is right for her……. She hurt her man by having SEX with someone else and Boooooooo I resent people like her

    3. emma says:

      you have some nerve alexander. do not tell me youre a prefect guy, coz chances are either your extremely ugly and single, or ultra hot and have cheated on all your gfs. dont complain about other peoples choices, its their life and they can live it in the way they wish to. i think she did the right thing by herself, and if that hurt the other guy, then so be it. sometimes you have to take risks to do what is best for yourself, you dont always have to think of others. live your life for yourself and no one else

  41. Betty says:

    Unlike everyone else, I completely understand what happend. In fact, I am going though the same situation. I am in college, I cheated on my boyfriend, and then I broke up with him because there is no way for us to now be together. Heartbreak sucks. And I feel like a complete bitch every morning when I wake up. But sometimes, it takes an experience like this to prove that I relationship needs to end. That quote "once a cheater, always a cheater" is complete bullshit. Don't let all these people make you feel like shit – you were confused and were trying to figure your life out.

  42. lexi says:

    omg people, your making out that her cheating was the biggest badest thing in the world. she was 18 she wasnt married nor even engaged, collage is part of growing up and realising who you are, people have different ways to working this out.
    as for the way to get out of her relationship, she obviously cared alot for this guy and wanted him to think he was better off without her rather than him tryen to change himself because he didn't think he was good enough or doing enough for her in there relationship.

  43. Becca says:

    You know what. I going against what the norm is saying. I understand extactly what your feeling. I've been there. She's not saying that what's she did was right. She was being honest and open. These days thats hard to come by. Most people have or will cheat sometime in their life, whether it be emotional or physically cheat. It's the SAME.

  44. franco says:

    yeah you're a pretty rotten and selfish person. i hope you're lonely for the rest of your life.

  45. Oka says:

    I once found myself in the exact same situation as the author. We all do dumb things when we're young and entering the dating world, and if I could go back in time and undo it, I would do it in a heartbeat. To cause someone so much heartbreak, despite what selfish reasons we may have for it, is in-excusable and unforgivable. But it did make me realise that I was only in the relationship because I was comfortable, and scared of being alone. It shouldn't have taken for me to cheat to discover this, but it was the kick I needed to really see the relationship for what it was, and end it.
    Being older and wiser now, I know better than to do it again. I'm now mature enough to realise when a relationship is fading and end it. I'm sincerely hoping the author has learnt the same thing.

  46. Carlos says:

    I just read this as I was just surfing around, and will put in my two cents worth. You wrote how you felt on this forum hoping to find support for your actions because you still feel possibly guilty, shame, or maybe just confused about whether your actions were appropriate or not. What each and one of us does throughout life will always have consequences in one manner or other on other people around us. What you did was wrong and harmful on several levels. Yes, you wronged your boyfriend in a needless manner because you lacked maturity, ethics, sensitivity towards your boyfriend, inner convictions, and mettle. Will he be hurt in the future. Yes he will. Truth outs eventually. He may be devastated emotionally, but he will come to realize eventually, if he is able to navigate out of the pain he may experience, that he wasted his time with you and that he deserves someone better than you in the future to share his life with him. You failed him and in the end he will be better off without you. You also failed on yourself. You have every right to grow up, become mature, seek happiness, and improve your life and circumstances. But you do not have the right to do it at the expense of hurting someone else in your decisions. Could you have seeked advice on how to handle this problem. Very likely. Could you have mustered support from other friends to enable you to make a better informed decision and choice of actions. Very likely. Instead it seems you made your decision to cheat all by yourself and in doing so you failed both your boyfriend and yourself as well. Will you find someone as good as him; possible, time will tell. Will he find someone better than you; most assuredly he will. Likewise their is now a problem of future relationships for you. Can you tell other prospective love interest the exact details of your actions. Maybe. When a woman tells a man that she has never cheated but instead breaks off her ties before doing so. If the man believes and finds out this is so, he knows he has found a diamond in the rough; he as struck solid gold. That woman is a keeper if he truly falls in love with her. How hard is it to find life partner who does not play games. How hard is it to catch the wind with your hands?. Regardless of how much growing up, or how much you learn from this lesson. The fact is you did it, without thinking it through or seeing help to gauge your actions. And their is always the chance that really deep down another man who tells you that they are neither bothered or concerned about your past. Truth be told, their trust in you will always have a limit. What was the past is over and done with. You are getting on with your life. Your ex-boyfriend has gotten the better part of the deal. You may never wash this out of your mind completely. However, you neither shall have the peace of knowing if another man totally trust you, regardless of what they express to you, or lie to others, and always have the concern they may find out about this later on. You will simply have to live with this as best you can.

  47. unknown says:

    Ok I know I’m gonna get bashed for this but I do see all sides

    I mean congrats on having the courage to post this story on the net, would I do the same? No I wouldn’t, and I have been in the same position. I will not make excuses because there are none. Cheating sucks, big time. I recently told my ex-bf that I had cheated on him. He still has feelings for me, and I for him. It’s hard, what I did was stupid. But at the same time we talked and he acknowledged the fact that clearly things weren’t great, neither of us treated each other particularly well.

    We’re still both single, and I still love him to bits. But now I look back and think with more clarity of mind then before, how happy must’ve I have been to have done this?

    Once again I will say I WILL not make excuses for what I did, it was stupid and it was wrong, end of. And for all those who are wondering why I told him, in my eyes it was better to be honest. I’d rather try to make things work with a clean slate, then keep something like that to myself. So now he knows, what happens next is down to him.

    1. unknown says:

      I hope he takes you back and cheats on you. Those who cheat should be cheated on in return by those who they've cheated on, as the saying goes "do unto others…" It is ridiculous that it take people to turn to such outlets to find clarity. It's a disgusting act of betrayal.

  48. unknown says:

    And no, I’m not looking for sympathy. Before I get flamed by someone. Btw people can call me a bitch, a whore, a slut or whatever, that’s your opinion and I respect that. I also know I don’t deserve a nice guy or girl, and that I don’t deserve my ex’s trust or love. Again that’s your opinion, all I wanna do is share my thoughts and opinions with anyone stumbles across this page. =)

  49. Amazed says:

    People who are weak need help that doesn’t come from deceitful sex. To find clarity in another person penis or vagina sure seems logical, rational, and emotionally sound…..

  50. John says:

    I had a similar situation when me and my first live went away to uni.

    The relationship was clearly finished but neither had the courage to end it. She confessed to cheating so I ended it, relieved to be honest. It had run it’s course and for the previous 6 months I had been sleeping with any girl that would let me!!!

    I’m a guy though so that makes me a stud. Girls cheating makes them sluts and damaged goods. Fair? Probably not but they are the rules

  51. […] Cosmo covers often crosses the border into completely ridiculous suggestions: sexting is sexy, cheating is normal, and making love in the club is romance defined! Little girls who don’t know better could […]

  52. Mimia says:

    The fact you didn't love him anymore was reason enough to dump him. You didn't need to have sex with another person to do that. Of course, you're aware that what you did was wrong while you were in a relationship, and I agree, but the fact that you didn't have the courage to end it as it should be makes you a nothing but a coward. You're not a bitch, whore, or slut by the way. But you are a coward.

  53. Dan. says:

    I completely understand falling out of love with someone, especially when you fell in love with them at such a young age, but what you did to get out of it was not only selfish and cowardly, but by cheating on someone who was nothing but good to you…extremely damaging. When you cheat on someone, especially after they've done absolutely nothing incorrect, it ruins their sense of trust forever. They will never be able to trust any of their future relationships. In my personal opinion, you need to tell him how much of a coward you were and apologize so that he understands completely that he did not deserve you taking a hot knife and stabbing him in his back, through his lungs, and out of his ribcage.

  54. Alexander says:

    If you loved him you would have never did that You are a very selfish person and I hope you learned a lesson You spread your legs for another man while you were in a relation So that does make you one I will never understand people You love but you not satisfied?

  55. GetReal says:

    The last sentence is B.S. and a justification for irresponsibly and cowardly behavior.

    " but I will still always know that the worst thing that I’ve done to someone else turned out to be the best thing I ever did for myself. And I’ve never been happier."

    it should read:

    "I have never been happier, since I did the worst thing i've ever done, which is to betrayed my boyfriend someone who genuinely cared for me and treated me good because i was too selfish and inconsiderate to give them a decent good bye.

    I'm not a hater of the author and could careless about how she handles her business, i just was compelled to comment on the lack of a backbone she and her supporters have in agreeing that her actions were "great!" or "Awesome". Bottom line is that there is an innocent victim involved, and had she just been honest, she wouldn't be writing personal articles about how she is a cheater, and looking for acceptance of her actions, when in reality she knows that she should have dumped him and been done with it. There is never a reason to cheat on someone who cares for you when dumping them is the obvious answer. I actually enjoyed her writing style, keep writing!

    (Good luck ever finding a man now that you posted this article), LOL.

  56. jonathan says:

    My college girlfriend and I have been together 1.5 years. Everything was perfect. We were a good-looking, cute, happy couple. Both our parents loved us and the relationship. I was romantic and caring, she was adventures and funny. She talked about following me after we graduate. We talked about kids, a possible marriage one day… This past semester she has been studying abroad in Spain. 1 month ago she said her love for me was so great that she didn't ever see our love to stop growing.
    2 weeks ago, she got drunk at a club, went home with a bloody british man. and had sex with him.
    she confessed the next day…. I said "our love was strong enough to get through this, and if she stopped drinking, then maybe she could earn my trust back and have a 2nd chance"…
    the next day she said she doesn't love me anymore, and she broke up with me.

    I am devastated. I don't know what to do, or if I will every find someone again that I can trust or love. I thought she was the one. I can't sleep at night. My grades have been failing. And I think about her as soon as i wake up, and she is still the last thought when I go to sleep. It is torture. Especially when I think about her cheating. and why? why did she have to ruin a perfect relationship?

    1. ZPAN says:

      Are you a doormat or a man ? One why did you let her go to a fucking club ALONE ? I KNOW SHES OLD ENOUGH BUT YOU GOT TO SET BOUNDERIES ! Look, I'm sorry , I really am …….but you need to move on …BE A BETTER YOU ! DON;T FUCKING GIVE UP MATE ! if you do ……then she wins …I don't care how much Sweet she is or sht but you need to improve yourself , go to the gym , get better grades …….find a part time job ? Karma is not a nice person when it comes to mean people . seriously bro ….get yourself better and she;ll be back to you in no time…..then Go out with her….tell her that shes your everything and after 4 weeks ….get an escort and pre tend you have sex with that chick when she has plan to come to your house :) ………It's not cheating since your not doing it …………… DO IT ! for the sake of your MANLINESS !

    2. Guest says:

      Yeah, that sucks. Ditch the B*tch. You never planned on having a cheater as the mother of your kids right? Easy when you think of that perspective eh?

  57. hunter says:

    this chick is a selfish whore
    be ashamed of yourself

    1. tina says:

      life is not black and white. calling someone a whore because they cheated on a boyfriend when they were 18 is completley extreme. most people don't find the love of their life at 18 and it sounds like this was her way of realising she wanted to move on. yes her bf will be hurt but man up, everyone gets hurt in life and you can't keep blaming other people for your lack of trust etc. my father cheated on my mum with my best friend yes it's given me some issues but you grow and learn to forgive

  58. Kay says:

    Look, you were 18. I don't understand the outrage coming from people over someone's mistake that happened when they were a young adult. I'm 26 and I have never cheated nor do I want someone to cheat on me. I believe people need to be more forgiving of themselves and others and we will all be much happier.

  59. Silas Jordan says:

    It's sad how heartless a person can be when they cheat, she is almost patting herself on the back for being a cheater. Anyone who cheats and tries to justify it is a coward. The good part is karma is also a bitch and she is coming for you.

  60. bwosandman says:

    Thats a very selfish and cruel way of thinking. I hope I never find someone like you when I get into a relationship.

  61. Yeahhjen says:

    I don’t think the name calling is really called for. She did something you wouldn’t so what. People make mistakes it’s life shit happens. Because she cheated she deserves the worse? Come on now. Yes she should have told him it wasn’t what she wanted and ended that way but she cheated instead. I understand she hurt him but if he can’t grow from it and know that not everyone is the same then I feel sorry for him. I’ve been cheated on yes it hurt but I realized thank god I didn’t continue to stay with someone who didn’t want me like I did him and it made me a better person because I learned from it all. I know not everyone is so fucked up and cold. We are human we do things sometimes we can’t explain and others we can. And saying I’m a better person than her because I never cheated is stupid just cause you never did what she did doesn’t mean your better than her you could be a real big douche who knows but don’t sit here and say your better than anyone I’m not perfect and neither are you but if your going to sit here and expect perfection you better show me how perfect you are. I do think she is pretty brave to put herself on blast. I don’t think you deserve to get horrible things in life because of this. You did something wrong doesn’t make you a terrible person who should be shuned

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  63. MrE says:

    I don't think you're a slut or a whore. That would imply that you sleep around and treat your body as an object.

    But it is clear from your article that you are a terrible person. Your act of cheating defines you as an individual, because it proves that you have the ability to go out of your way to hurt someone. You have demonstrated a capacity for cruelty and the only real question is when (not if) you'll decide to hurt someone else in your life.

    Lucky for you, most of your friends and family won't realise the kind of person you are. So they'll continue to treat you with a kindness and honesty you don't deserve. Hell, you might even find someone who is willing to enter a relationship with you (not realising that given the right circumstances, you'll turn on them and reflect fondly on it).

    I hope that one day, you suffer the same cruelty which you are capable of inflicting. In my opinion, that is the only punishment that would ever suffice.

  64. James says:

    Honestly, there really are no words that would adequately describe what a pathetic hole you are. You're garbage. Plain & simple. God willing, when you finally grow up a little & get cut up by another man the way that you've cut this guy up, you might realize what you've done to yourSELF here. You said that the worst thing that you've ever done to someone else, is the best thing that you've ever done for yourself?? Dear God. Do you even realize what that sounds like to another human being. I only hope that he is past your pathetic ass. I'd LOVE to be in a relationship with you. I'd hang your ass out to dry… me.

  65. bobby says:

    sorry love but in my opinion you were stringing him along and i hope to god the same thing happens to u , you cheating tart

  66. jordan says:

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  67. John says:

    You're a slut. Dirty slut!

  68. Razer says:

    Cheap fucking whore. You are worthless and people don't respect you cuz you are a fucking dirty smelly slut.

  69. hay says:

    Omg, the rude name calling isn't necessary! People make mistakes all the time and nobody is punishing you for it, all of you need to grow up!

  70. Xion says:

    So let me guess this straight , you cheated on your boyfriend and then broke up with him ? Hahaha , yea you might have yourself and the rest of these idiots fooled but not me . You were keeping him , weren't you ? A some kind of parachute if "something " goes wrong. Some how your fooling yourself by saying "If we were together I couldn't of LIVED MY LIFE !!!" Honestly do you believe that you guys are going to have a baby and you'll be a stay at home mom if you were married ? Hahaha of coarse the answer is NO, but hey……….doing such "Leisure " of what you did aka cheating has a price ……………

    Btw how did you get a boyfriend ? I mean I looked at your …..ahh nevermind..I insulted you enough for one day….

  71. Diana says:

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  72. trevor says:

    ur fuckin crazy bitch

  73. Mattwww says:

    Emotionally scaring the person who loved you with all his heart was the best decision of your life? Your a whore and dont pull the "Mistake line" you did it purposely to hurt him. SLUT

  74. Anais says:

    Simply disgusting…. I am with my boyfriend for 7 years now, I never ever cheated him. He is all my life, he is kind and tender with me and love me for who I am, there are no reasons to destroy someone's heart simply because we want to put an end to our relationship, that's simply selfish and immature, you could have stopped your relationship without giving the world an another bad image of girls, I feel ashamed now, I thought only men were heartless enough to do these disgusting things.

  75. unanimious says:

    Arent you a succubus ,he moved back home for you, he probably would take a bullet for you and here you are pushing the one person that loves you on to an oncoming train, watching his life fall apart,never seeing the tears that were ever so endless ,how could you be so cold and selfish , im not gonna call u a skank because ur far worse, besides he's beeter off without someone like you,you'll never be happy ever again u filthy carnal animal.

    1. Shaki says:

      You shouldn't judge here for the decision that she made. Yes it was an ill thought out decision, but nontheless she and her ex have to live with it. Yes she may seem cold and selfish, but in the end, she did something for herself. Many people spend too much time thinking of others and the impact a decision would have not only on themselves but also on their family and friends. Though it may hurt people in the end, it is sometimes very necessary to make irrisponsible/drastic/selfish decisions. Imagine if she remained in the relationship because she was afraid to hurt him and ended up being miserable. Suppose her ex wanted to end the relationship as well but was probably waiting for her to mess up. We never know all sides of a story… we shouldn't judge.

    2. Everything you say – think about yourself, it might hurt but its necessary, maybe the boyfriend was unhappy too – these are reasons to END A RELATIONSHIP, but not an excuse for cheating!!! There is no excuse for cheating, and calling cheating on someone the best decision in your life is not only very revealing when it comes to your own personality, but also a slap in the face of the person you cheated on.

  76. april says:

    Thanks for sharing your story. Your inner peace and forgiving yourself is the most important thing. People can say negative and positive things. None of that matters. Be true to yourself…only then can you truly love others . Best of luck to you.

  77. Her Prince Charming, or so she said. says:

    I am the EX; Not literally.
    I had an experience similar to this recently, except I was on the other end of it. I’m in my 30’s I have been in half a dozen serious relationships. I’ve only broken up one of them, she was literally crazy. The longest was about four years. It ended suddenly with no explanation, over the phone I might add. It took a long time to get over. I decided to wait for the right girl to come along. Finally one day I met this girl. I fell for her instantly, but because I had been cheated on once before and have had my broken a couple of times, I tried to guard my heart and take it slow. This girl was about ten years younger than me, so I knew there could be maturity issues. We got along great though, seemed like a match made in heaven. We never fought, had all the right common interest and values. Slowly I let my guard down. We talked about life in the future, moving in together and all that stuff; She told me she wanted a serious committed relationship. I did everything I could for her. I made every effort to be the best man she could hope to find, not that it really took effort, it was easy. She always told me it was like a storybook romance. I thought I met the woman I would marry. Then one day, after seven months together, it all felt different; She became more and more emotionally distant. Finally, I ask her about it and I get the “I don’t feel like I can be a GF right now” line. Sigh, At this point I knew it was over and I was heartbroken. The crazy thing was she said she still loved me. Now it didn’t make any sense. We spoke a couple times over the next few weeks, I wanted to work things out or at least find some closure; maybe even remain friends, but all I got was how I never did enough for her and how it was my fault we broke up. WTF? None of it made any sense. Until I found out that one night while I was working late she had a three-way with a couple of her friends. Now it all made sense. That was when she became distant,that’s when/why her feelings changed. My heart was ripped into a thousand pieces. The break-up was bad enough, but the infidelity made it so much worse. I realize now that I didn’t lose a potential wife/lover/friend/soul-mate because she never really was any of those things, if she was she wouldn’t have done what she did; What I did lose was all the good memories that are now over-shadowed by ugly and painful ones. I lost time and money that would have been better spent on someone else. I’m a little more jaded and guarded and I wonder if I’ll ever find someone that is truly worth while. Point being, the emotional scares are very real to one that got cheated on.
    I still have some hope, although not very much, but I refuse to let all these bad experience turn me into some player or douche-bag and I can definitely see how some guys might decide to go that route, I have too much honor though.
    I even understand how OP can be so remorseless. It’s easy for her to have good memories of the relationship, sounds like he treated her like gold. Also she doesn’t know what it really feels like to be on the other side of the equation; Only then will she understand the consequences of her actions.
    If there is one sure thing it is KARMA, it usually is not instant but it always comes back around. If the same thing doesn’t happen to her, it will happen to her daughter or son some day, but it will come back around. Somebody always pays!

    The OP is telling HER truth, just not THE truth; There is a difference.

    I think OP regrets it a lot more than she admits anyway, why else write the stupid F-ing article in the first place. It’s an attempt at justification so she’ll sleep better at night.

    The moral of the story:
    Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
    Veritas Vincit

  78. ckr says:

    jeez people, have you ever made an impulsive decision that you regret? people act like cheaters are the absolute scum of the earth. some people just make bad decisions, it doesnt make them monsters.

  79. sandra says:

    When I married my husband I was already pregnant and so I didn't have a job. He had a really good job though so I was able to stay home and take care of our son when it was born. When we had our second child we moved to a bigger house, but then strange things started to happen. Things would fly off the walls and doors would slam at night. Our oldest son talked about seeing figures and hearing voices. We consulted a medium and they said the house was haunted. After living there about a year more with only minor occurrences we moved out. That was when the bad luck started to happen. Everything started to fail, with my husband's job, our money and our luck in general. I went back to the same medium and they told me that a spirit had followed me and placed a curse upon me for disturbing it and not being respectful in the previous house. He tried to remove it but was unable. The misfortune kept going on and getting more severe as I tried to search out someone to break the curse. But when I found Dr OMO spell he finally did it. Things started turning around almost immediately after he cast the spell and have been great from there! This was really a miracle for us, thank you Dr OMO spell from the bottom of my heart! Contact:

  80. Dan says:

    It doesn't matter what your reasons are. You cheated, you screwed up, and you probably ruined a very selfless human being over the fact that you made the wrong choice. He will hold resentment to all future women because of your extremely retarded actions. I hope your life is as much a living hell as you made his.

  81. Meghan says:

    I went through the same thing!! Your not alone…life happens and we all move on eventually. Yes it's a bad thing to do but were all human and we have to do what makes up happy that or we have to discover who we are by making bad choices. Nobody is a saint, so we can't blame you for doing this. Way to be brave and post this, and I'm really happy I found this article because I was feeling like crap when the SAME exact thing happened to me.

  82. mymymy says:

    "those who are without sin throw the first stone"

    i am not saiyng what she did was good, but on the other hand what what anyone ever does is good?

    this happened to me before
    but if i treat any future women bad because of it it isnt my ex' fault, it is mine!

    lets not be so vengefull and judgemental please :)

  83. The Chosen One says:

    a) You’re not right for what you did in anyway shape or form (Some people aren’t grasping that yet). Being “honest” to give yourself a false sense of virtue to fill the void for doing something that disrespectful is pretty pathetic imo.

    b) If things could’ve worked, they could’ve. If it the weren’t going to-then they weren’t going to. But that decision and mutual understanding should be between the two of you. Not three.

    bpart2) If somebody loves someone else alot more and it just becomes a problem then its simple. You state what you will/wont do and what you want/dont want. If they cant comply. Then you leave with a mutual understanding and you both know why. Once again. A and B. no C.

    c) Being cheated on is finding out that you were never good enough, and that everything that you’ve ever experienced with your significant other didn’t have enough VALUE to infringe on the hormonal attraction. VALUED things are kept sacred. Things go up in VALUE with time, if they are going down-state what you will/wont do and what you want/dont want. If they cant comply. Then you leave with a mutual understanding and you both know why. Once again. A and B. no C.

    d) If you agree with this chick your really pathetic

    e)If he wasnt being alpha thats where he lost . If he was your just not loyal, you’re easily influenced (as depicted by attraction), or you genuinely don’t give a shit about anybody but yourself which will help guide you into a miserable life because we’re all vessels of energy.
    Energy cannot be created nor destroyed-only transferred.

  84. Kayla says:

    ok obviously you were trying to hurt him so he would break up with you and honestly you sound like a snobby self centered person because you would hurt someone else just to make yourself happier

  85. Shaki says:

    Okay. What you did was wrong. And even though in the end you were happy, imagine how your ex must have felt. I'm not sure if you analyzed the entire situation before you made your decision to cheat on him, but I feel that cheating on him because you felt the relationship wasn't going anywhere was the wrong thing to do. I admit that there have been times where even though I know what the right thing was, I still went ahead and did what I knew was wrong. I guess in the end we must be honest with ourselves and the people we say we care much about.

    1. Paige says:

      She herself stated it was wrong, derp.

  86. Rosie says:

    I swear reading this was like hearing myself . I was in a 5 yr relationship.. i wasnt brave like u and stayed in it until the end of college… I too ended up cheating and its definitely not ok but at sosme point u have to stop worrying about others… its like it happens… n u move on .. u live n u learn .

  87. Lavada says:

    Can I simply say what a comfort to find someone that truly understands what

    they’re discussing over the internet. You certainly understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important. More people must read this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised that you aren’t more popular because

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    1. hoplessromantic says:

      i have fallen truly in love one time. Did everything for this girl. We were best friends, lovers, everthing. We were together for 9 months. Well she cheated on me while i was away on a trip and her reason was almost the same as this girls. Do you know what its like to be stabbed in the back and right out the heart by someone you love? I will never make the mistake of giving my heart to another women. This chick in the article is a selfish coldhearted slut and only cares about her own emotions and no one elses. Karmas a bitch and the chick in the article deserves all the bad karma she gets. Hel this guy moved back for her and she couldnt give him the respect to end it like an adult. This chick doesnt deserve real love. What a piece of shit human being.

    2. Ashley Lee says:

      This means a lot — thank you so much. Seriously.

  88. Sam says:

    What i think is u shuld’t’ve left that dat guy in such a way coz u don’t knw hw dat pain any boy whose girl left withot sayng anythng the best exampl is me we 2gether had a great time bt its been 2 nd half years since she left me with no reason n i’ve ben begng her to say my fault bt she refuses bt say’z sme shit stories stil i hope fr her return coz i belive in my love in da same way when u dnt belive in ur partner better dnt start any relation with him

  89. rrr says:

    Slut is happy about being a slut. Like there is anything special about it…

  90. Cole says:

    You're an undeserving whore and you should strongly consider killing yourself so nobody ever makes the msitake of loving you.

  91. Brianna says:

    At least you know what you did wrong.

  92. So let me get this straight: Instead of simply being honest with your partner and breaking off your relationship in a civilized and honest way YOU CHEATED ON HIM??? So, the best decision you have ever made was hurting someone and betraying his trust in a way that might leave him emotionally damaged for the rest of his life? What kind of a coward are you? How is he ever supposed to trust someone again, after experiencing that a girl cheated on him although they had a wonderful relationship?

  93. lusia says:

    The only way you will ever know for sure if your boyfriend is cheating on you is if you catch him in the act or if he tells you straight up. I would really think about if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in and if not, get out of it. Nobody deserves to be treated like that,one of my best friend give this website or

  94. bummerfication says:

    So… in summary:
    – He was a great guy.
    – You got bored and cheated on him.
    – It was great for you.
    – It was shit for him

    Your conclusion:
    – It was great.

  95. Chris says:

    Okay i actually didn't read the whole story but i read some of the first part. u were saying cheating on ur bf is not right(its true its not right nobody deserves that). this one goes for everyone, even if u think that ur bf/gf is cheating on u, u dont have the right to cheat on them. becasue if u do that then u are no better than them. we all know were not perfect and we learn from our mistakes but if u keep doing it again then u never learned. If you're going to cheat on someone please realize first how they're going to feel when they find out about it. You were bored of him and bored of the relationship, but it doesnt mean u should cheat on him… u did and that sucks because we know that u never cared about him even if the relationship was going downhill. u shouldve done something. theres only two choices, man up and leave him or man up and bring the spark again, spice up your relationship! cheating was never an option. but hopefully the guy forgives you and hopefully he finds a better girl a better person who will make him happy, and will do anything to fix the relationship back to where they're happy again (: one thing tho pls never forget him.

  96. justin says:

    sounds like every other dumb slut trying to find a pathetic excuse for being a piece of shit.

  97. julian says:

    You are a slut, and that's all you will ever be.

  98. Naomi says:

    Lolll whore.

  99. Jarl says:

    A very interesting story, because there's a fact that will tell/teach you that no relationship (even first love-relationship) can be too perfect/flawless.

    Ps: you're not a slut, whore or escort, just a normal, beautiful young woman, who did a wrong thing for a right reasons. Eternal happiness to your future.

  100. Ramac says:

    Another idiot trying to cover something wrong with lame ass excuses. If your saying college is where you find yourself, are you saying your time in college turned you into a cheater? You had a great guy who actually loved you and you blew it, face it, its not right. If that day you cheated never occurred you would've been BETTER because you would've never had this burden on you.

  101. Arch says:

    Is it just me or are all the people that ‘understand’ the author all females breaking up with or cheating on their fellas…..god help my mate who is getting married to one of you yanks…you sit there trying to justify cheating to make yourself feel better and brag about it on here….but at end of the day your still just a c**t that can’t keep her legs closed…horrible

  102. Randomdude says:

    Yeah, is it just me or is there something in the water thats making all women begin experiencing serious "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome? Is it the fact that they aren't so dependant on men these days for everything, so they think they have free reign over anyone they can seduce and not suffer reprocussions? I guess in most cases, they don't. Hell, In the last month alone (hence the reason I looked this up), I have had this exact thing (minus maybe the college setting) happen to me, three of my friends, my friends uncle and my roommate. What the hell is going on around here, girls? I dont like men enough to be gay, but youre letting me down.

  103. Confused girl says:

    I’m so glad I read this. The whole part about being with the perfect guy who is presieved to be the love of your life, but for some reason you want out. I have the most amazing boyfriend ever. He does everything for me, and would do anything to make me happy. But for some reason lately I’ve made excuses to avoid seeing him, and all his acts of kindness just feel like over clingyness. I cheated on him recently, I don’t know weather to tell him or not, and I feel absolutely horrible about it. I love him, so much, and I don’t want to loose him I can’t imagine being so close and loving someone else the way I do him. But I have all the control in the relationship, and sometimes it feels like he’s just a puppy who will do what I tell him to. I have constant doubts about us and we’re so different and want such different things and sometimes I just want space and it feels like he loves me so much more than I do him. I need help someone please give me advise. I have the most perfect guy, but I keep looking for ways to get out of the relationship. Am I being a total idiot for throwing something so good away, or was my mistake a wake up call? Help

  104. shes a hoe idc why she cheated thats still wrong

  105. Fuck you slut says:

    Suck a dick bitch, he didn't even deserve you. Why would you not breakup with him, instead cheat. You are literally the reason why our society is fucked up. You're trying to justify cheating!?! My gf is currently in college and i pray she doesn't turn out like you. Burn in hell bitch, keep that pussy wide.

  106. Anonymous says:

    People here that say what you did is okay are wrong. Everyone makes mistakes is just an excuse for "accidents" or "being incapable of doing something correctly". What you did is not an accident and you were capable of being loyal. Another example is if you killed a person on purpose then it's okay because everyone makes mistakes? It's a no, right? That is what you did. You cheated on purpose. If you try to justify that killing and cheating are on different levels, they aren't. It's a good thing that you know you were wrong, but knowing just isn't enough.

  107. Alex says:

    Please kill yourself.

  108. Dean says:

    You're a fucking slut fuck you!!! ALL girls who cheat are SLUTS!!! (all guys who cheat are fuckers too) but for girls, it's WAY worse!! Girls are able to lie better than guys for the most part. FUCK YOU it's girls like you and JACKIE BRINSON who fuck this world up so much!!! All you cheaters can burn in hell you fucking sluts!!!

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