Relationship Guide: 10 Red Flags Every Girl Ignores

Far too often while dating in college we mistake little quirky qualities and pet peeves as things we can simply overlook. Perhaps we have, in the backs of our minds, the notion that dating in college these days is so non-traditional that our dating criteria can also be non-traditional. I can assure you: this is NOT the case. As we all know by now, communication is key to both progress and success, so talking about these things now will only help better your relationship in the long run. But what about those things that we don’t see? The tell-tale signs that your relationship is taking a turn for the worse, that for some reason you haven’t seemed to notice? We like to call these “red flags,” and apparently we’re pretty good at ignoring them when we don’t want to admit to the reality of things: the guy we’re dating is a complete douche and it’s time to give him the boot. To save you all the trouble (and potential heartache), I present to you the 10 red flags we tend to ignore most…



    1. Robyn says:

      I really want to know what girls think about that friend or faux one! I think it depends on the guy though, really. I can imagine a guy who doesn't like to express his emotions hiding his girl from everyone but his best bromance bud, but I can also imagine a guy telling all his friends about her when he doesn't mind letting them know he actually cares about a girl.

      As for the texting one and public prevention one …SO true. I knew this guy who REFUSED to let me go through his phone. I wasn't snooping, I had never been on or seen an android before so I was curious. I let him go through mine, and there were texts ABOUT him on there. And he bought this new puppy and kept saying I should drop by to see it and of all the times we drove by or stopped at his house for him to get something he never once invited me in! I think he didn't want me to meet his roommates. Ugh, some men.

      1. team-player says:

        We guys give each other immense amounts of shit every waking moment of the day. You see, there's a social order among guys, it's carefully balanced and dynamic between close male friends, and it very much resembles a sports team. Woman (most of them unintentionally, and probably even unknowingly) tend to disrupt this order. Remember, the more time he spends with you, the less time he is spending with his friends (that is, the team), which feels like abandonment to them. Because of this, they might ridicule the living hell out of him if they find out there is someone besides the team. The longer it takes him to mention you to the team, the more tense that particular group dynamic is. The best thing you can do is lightly bring up the situation so he is away of the necessity of action. And if you really want to smooth things over with the guys, show you are a catch by doing something for the entire team. Example 1: ask if you can hang out with them during the next game, and make some dip or hors d'oeuvres. If this seems a little too much for you, then just bring a six pack. Actually, a six pack will probably score you bigger points anyway. Anything to show that you are a team player, not an opponent. Example 2: The guys are going on a road trip. Ask if you can see him off (he secretly wants you too even if he is worried about his friends), then surprise them with a serious amount of junkfood for the road (couple bags of chips or beef jerky will do just fine). Then make sure TO NOT TEXT HIM MORE THAN ONCE A DAY just to let him know you're thinking of him. Make yourself a little busy and unavailable so he can stop thinking about you and enjoy his trip with his friends. This shows that a) you support the team, and b) you are competing with them by eating the time he's supposed to be spending with them. Remember, he has to impress your friends too, right? The friends were there first, and will be there if and when you're gone, so don't compete, co-operate.

        Oh, and I never let anybody go through my phone unless absolutely necessary. Some guys are just intensely private, and some of us have trust issues. Hope this explanation of the team aspect of male groups helps to clear the air for you.

      2. team-player says:

        That is, "so he is 'aware' of the necessity of action" and "b) you are not competing with them". I can't proofread tonight, turns out.

      3. team-Cpt. says:

        I have had girlfriends who my buddies absolutely hate, and the #1 reason they hated her was, that's right, she took away from our guy time. As team-player said, our buddies don't want to feel like they are competing with you for our attention. While it may be "bros before hos," (as far as I am aware) none of my bros has a vagina, therefore I is going to gravitate toward you even when I am with my buddies. However, this can be seen as a dirty tactic if exploited. You don't have to be "one of the guys" for our buddies to like you. Guys love it when a women takes care of them… LOVE IT. Keep in mind that EVERY team needs a "team mom." This means someone who will gladly make them food, bring them drinks, clean up after them, and laugh at their jokes, all while looking as sexy as possible for the occasion. Easiest way to impress our buddies is to take on that role of team mom (with absolutely ZERO nagging!!!). Don't forget that our needs, however, outweigh that of any other team member. One of the best ways to accomplish this task is by pooling the offerings to my friends into one mass while presenting me with a separate, smaller portion for you and I to share.
        (Note: Consuming greater than or equal to half of our (your and my) portion will be seen as insulting and emasculating by the group)
        For instance, lets say you have been invited to a Game of Thrones with me and four of my compadres. Halfway through episode six, one amigo says, "I could go for some popcorn right about now." This is your queue to get up without asking them to pause or crossing the tv. You pop three bags and put it into one giant bowl for my four buddies and one bag for you and I to share.

    2. katie says:

      i guess i understand the protective thing but honestly i think it's adorable when i find out a guy has told his friends about me! i think it means he's proud to be dating me, and his bros should know that you're his if he takes the time to tell them about you. if he's hiding you from them, as far as they know you're totally available!

    3. […] Relationship Guide: 10 Red Flags Every Girl Ignores ( […]

    4. Lisa says:

      I think if my boyfriend wasn't telling people about me he probably isn't too excited that we are together. I agree men can be protective but there is a difference between protection me and keeping me a secret…

      1. team-player says:

        He's not protecting you from them, he's protecting himself from them. Read above.

    5. cheyene says:

      well then I really dont get guys at times. my ex boyfriend used to talk about me to his mates, introduced me to his best friends, family and then dumped me in a

    6. Kyndra says:

      The Frend or Faux one stuck out to me the most ..true guys are protective but if I haven't met any of your closest friends who you know 100% won't try to come on to me then red flags will get raised!!

    7. eve donegan says:

      totally agree. you have to be careful, especially when you're into a nice guy – they're always too scared to tell you how it is. read 5 GUYS to AVOID here:

    8. Nicolodian says:

      Definitely true about the EX-GF, you cannot trust her as she may have intentions on getting him back, even if she has to be patient. She will have access to a seduction arsenal much bigger than yours due to a shared past with your current man. She knows him better than you do and where his weak spots are. Beware of her but don't be afraid to get a bit alpha in her face to let her know you're not backing away.
      (learned from experience)

    9. beth says:

      #1, #2, #8, and #10 are all familiar to me. I wish someone had explained these points to me before my first serious relationship!

      My ex would compliment me, and then he would insult me in some way. He would find ways to backhand me (metaphorically speaking) in random conversation, and say that I could stand to lose a few pounds, I'd look prettier if I wore different clothing, etc. What was really shitty was that there was no way I could possibly gain his approval – he'd criticize me if I dressed up, and criticize me if I dressed down, criticize me for not being skinny enough, and then criticize me if I ordered a salad for dinner. I don't know if this is typical bad boyfriend behavior, or just my ex being an enormous douchebag. He was bitchier than any bitch I knew in high school. I knew bitchy girls in high school, but I didn't know any college-age girls who would sit in the cafeteria and make fun of everyone who passes by.

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    12. Susaan says:

      Hahahha #9 is my life. My good male friend wants me but I don't return the affection. He still attempts to flirt with me and touch me regardless of the fact that he has a girlfriend. I hate men.

    13. Courtney says:

      Ok, I want to get some perspective on this situation because almost all of these flags pertain. I dated a guy for three years, we were very serious (and none of these flags pertained) we had a pretty rough year+ long breakup where we lived together and were basically still together until I finally broke it off. I'm still super close with his family and hang out with his mom more than my mom, although he and I have been taking time apart. I recently found out that he's dating someone "new" this girl started working at his job the week after we broke up and I knew they were flirting at the bare minimum throughout our entire breakup (she told him she wanted to date him, he said he didn't want a relationship, but he'd fuck her, and she said she wasn't like that) and now, about a year later, they're "dating".

      The thing is, he hasn't told anyone. His parents know, but as many times as they ask, he still denies dating anyone, and has never mentioned her name to them. He hasn't changed his facebook status (he hasn't had a status since we separated actually) they don't even have any pictures on facebook together. She isn't friends with any of his friends on Facebook, and he still hangs out with his friends more than her. He hasn't told his parents to stop hanging out with me, or that I stop being at the house (when we dated, he refused to see, or talk to, any of his ex's out of respect for me) in fact, he will leave her house and call his mom to find out if I'm there with movies. He occasionally stays at her house, but more often then not he comes home from hanging out with her pretty early at night.

      He and I have a strictly platonic relationship, if what we have could be called a relationship, we don't talk or hangout unless I'm hanging out with his parents and he comes home. I don't go over there when he's already home, and I try to leave shortly after he gets home, or after the movie ends. So I'm not trying to "make things work" or interfere with his relationship, but I kind of feel bad for the girl because having seriously dated him, it's not the way he typically behaves in a relationship and It leaves me wondering, "what the F is going on, and who is this guy?" How can a girl date a guy who wont even admit to being in a relationship, and wont introduce her to his friends? Her facebook is all about him and the only trace of her is the posts she makes and comments she posts on his wall and pictures. He told me before we stopped talking that she was "obnoxious" "immature" and "stupid" she's also 5 years younger than him straight out of highschool. I'm thinking he's simply exploiting her for sex since I cut him off, but maybe he's just "being protective".

      1. jeff says:

        You're a strange chick. Move on and quit hanging with his family.

    14. Lauren says:

      I think it's absolutely ridiculous that you suggest going through a guy's phone. No guy or girl has any right to be going through their partner's texts, that is just as bad as hacking into their facebook or email. You may be dating this guy but you do not own him. Sure he may be tilting his phone away from you, but maybe he just doesn't want you reading his texts – he has a right to privacy just like anyone else. If you have so little trust in the guy that you're dating that you find it necessary to snoop then that is more of a red flag than anything you will find in his inbox.

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    16. Aryana says:

      The txting one and the being friends with exs one just seem ridiculously paranoiac to me. Sure if you’re suspicious than you might be onto something but him being friends with an ex is not uncommon and it shows it wasn’t a bad breakup and they’re both mature. You would be immature to be suspicious of it. And just because a guy isn’t eager to show you everything in his phone does not mean he’s hiding something.

    17. Hawkeye323 says:

      Hello ladies, beware the guy who texts vs. Callling! He’d text to ask if he could call

    18. ana says:

      cool story. I hit 3 outta 10. … and thats why hes my ex.😛

    19. doos says:

      So great to get advise from a primary school kid who watched too many Hollywood romance movies.
      Thx for the amazing advise. WOW. Im sure now i can act all bat shit crazy and never trust anyone ever again.

      And to top it off… now i can see fault where there was none. The world needs more great relationship advise like this. It would definitely help curb the exploding human population

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