The Do’s and Don’ts of Going to College With Your BFF

It started at the bus stop. I was probably wearing obnoxiously colored leggings and keds, and she was probably wearing a denim jumper and Mary Janes with those little white socks with the frilly edges. You know the types. She asked if I wanted to share a  bus seat with her since we were in the same kindergarten class. I said yes. Fast forward 13 years, and we’re texting each other about our plans for the first night of college. Were we going to be going to the same rager with jungle juice being served in a fishtank? Was her roommate going to faceplant off of a bar in the basement of a frat house? Were we going to find a DD just so we could go to Wawa at 3am? Not quite yet.

Going to college with my BFF wasn’t always so kosher. Here are a few things that really helped us out.

1. DO make your own decision. We didn’t decide to go to school together. In fact, we refused to tell each other what our final results were from each college, just in case one of us would be swayed by the other’s decision. We wanted to make our own, independent decision.

2. DON’T rely only on each other. We didn’t speak for the first month of school. Okay, after that last one, I’m sure you’re beginning to wonder if we really were friends at all. Yes. I swear. We decided it was more important to make friends on our own during that first, crucial month. I fell in love with my floor, and she, hers. After that month passed, it was like we had two sets of friends. Her new friends became mine, and vice versa. It became a God-send to be able to escape to a different dorm or get coffee with a different crew. But it never would have happened, had we only held on to each other.

3. DON’T be afraid to not speak to each other for a while. It’s okay! College is a time to learn about yourself, and sometimes, that may mean ignoring your past for a little while. This doesn’t mean you’re not friends anymore, it means that you’re just figuring your life out. No harm in that!

4. DO realize how lucky you are. Most people don’t get to go to college with anyone they know, let alone their best friend. You’re guaranteed a shoulder to cry on, someone to call when your roommate goes off the deep-end or maybe just when you need a ride all the way home. Don’t take the little things for granted.

College is going to be the best four years of your life, and you’re lucky enough to spend it with your BFF!

Did you go to college with your BFF? Do you have tips?



  1. Ashley says:

    The second Don't may seem extreme but I think it is a very good idea and very true! I went to college with my bff from highschool and we were no longer friends after freshman year. We lived in the same dorm and depended on each other. I started meeting new people and enjoying college while she stuck with the same people from home and went home every weekend.
    My advice would be NOT to live with each other. As much as you are great friends you need to be able to grow on your own without judgment and make new friends because that is what college is all about.

  2. College & Other Pesky Things says:

    I disagree with one of your point in particular. I think it is crazy not to speak to your BEST FRIEND for a month, especially during the time of transition! Yes, it is so important to. make your own niches and friends when you go off to college. And though this is true, don't forget, that the first few months are hard, and you may need a shoulder to cry on when you get there…

    1. Meg- University of Delaware says:

      Obviously we spoke! What I really meant was don't take away time from making new friendships just to text her or what have you. The first few months were definitely hard, she certainly was my sanity throughout it all. Freshman year, everything seems so intense!

  3. So true. You really have to be independent. I mean being with someone who could understand you and be there with you every step of your life is one big thing but sometimes we need to grow on our own. When we are too attached to people, we can't let go of our differences which makes it unhealthy for both of you in the end. The achievements of one makes you a jealous woman when you can't seem to fit into her world and vice-versa and that's what we don't want to see.

  4. Sara says:

    I wish i had known these things! i lived with my best friend freshmen year, and we seriously ended up hating each other!

  5. Sheri says:

    It's crazy. I"m a senior in high school, and two of my closest friends and i are thinking about going to the same college. I love my friends, so this guide was very helpful so that we can stay just of good of friends in the potentional of us all going to the same college

  6. Vee says:

    I feel like going to college with my bff was the biggest mistake I ever made! We used to be attached at the hip and now we don't even acknowledge each other. We committed both of your "don'ts" and I honestly feel like that's where we went wrong.

  7. […] = Best Friends Forever. If you’re planning on going off to college together, check out these Do’s and Don’ts. (via College […]

  8. Dakota says:

    I go to college with my best friend. We both decided on the same school independently of one another. We also decided NOT to room with each other. We then ended up on the same floor (what are the odds??). We were still pretty attached but we made friends with the entire floor and eventually would hang out with those people without each other sometimes. We also went through sorority recruitment together and refused to tell each other which house we wanted. Now we are in the same house! haha. We are definitely very attached to each other, but we also have our independence and sets of friends separate from one another. I think that is why we are sophomores and still very close.

  9. […] So did Meg! Read her pro-living-with-high-school-friend post right here. Had your own similar experience? Tell us below. Read More About high school friends, living […]

  10. Melissa says:

    I'm an upcoming Senoir in high school. I and my best friend were considering attending the same school. But, I'm not completely sure that's a good idea. Her pockets are deeper than my own, and she's more academic. I'll be in more debt, but I can't imagine not attending school with my BFF. Any advice?

  11. Ange says:

    seriously thank you so much for this page!
    my bff and i are going to different universities next year, and i've been feeling very bummed out for the longest time because we wouldn't be together, but your tips really helped!

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