Dude’s List: Top 11 Reasons He Didn’t Call

By The Dude

We’ve all been burned after giving someone our number. He promises he’ll call. There’s no reason he won’t! I mean, things went really well, right? You had a great time together, tons in common, talked for hours, (or did other things for 5 to 20 minute spurts), and there’s just no way he isn’t into you…But he hasn’t picked up the damn phone! Why? Why not? What the heck’s going on? Well, here’s 11 possibilities for the radio silence that that’s driving you bonkers.

1.    He’s waiting for you to call

Did he also give you his number? Then maybe he’s waiting to see if you take the initiative. Of course, this scenario works only if neither has committed to be the first caller. But if such is the case then he could very well be playing it cool and waiting to see what you’ll do. Some guys just aren’t able to make the overture…or they’re wusses…or they’re not sure how interested they are so they’re waiting to see if you’ll pursue things. Don’t hate the player, hate the game (I really do a lot of the time).

2.    He lost your number

Sh*t happens. Fell out of his pocket, got ruined in a rain storm, accidentally lit his wallet on fire, his phone broke, and there are about 30,000 other scenarios where you’re number went up in smoke. Might be due to irresponsible habits or just crappy luck. When you put the burden on someone else, you sacrifice a lot of control of the situation. And that’s when life licks its chops at all the mischief to be caused.

3.    He met someone else he’d rather call

Bastard!…but has that ever happened to you? I mean, come on, you just have a lucky streak where you get 2 or 3 numbers over the course of 2 or 3 days and you make a choice. Not exactly noble but plausible.

4.    He told you he’d call to get you to go away

Nothing ends awkward conversation on better terms than, “I gotta go but give me your number and I’ll call you tomorrow to hang out.” Sometimes “yes” is the surest “no.” It’s a cruel tactic and show complete obliviousness to the agonizing anxiety one can cause. But on the other hand, if you really just want to get the person to leave you alone without shattering your kneecaps…

5.    He’s got a girlfriend

Some guys flirt just to test the water. To them, it’s a harmless boost. When it goes too far though, it’s a mindf*ck. Which is just douche. Flirting is one thing. Getting them digits, well, we’re looking at  a guy who’s just itching to slip and slide at some point. You’ll never know how grateful you should be that he didn’t use what you gave him. These guys needed to be avoided like a weeping angel.

6.    He did call and it didn’t go through

Damn cellphones! Isn’t all this evolving (and ever smaller) technology supposed to make things more convenient for us?

7.    He doesn’t think it’ll go anywhere

You ever changed your mind the next morning? I’ll bet you have…or wish you had three months later when you realize he’s a hopeless pyscho that hangs spoons above his bed to meditate to. Sometimes a guy asks for your number with every intention of calling you as soon as he brushes his teeth the next morning. Then, he wakes up. And something’s different. He plays back the night and decides, “you know what, rather not.” Unfortunately, there’s no law against it. He wasn’t intentionally leading you on. He’s just a bit of a flip-flopper. Call your congressman to complain.

8.    He thinks it’ll go somewhere

Sometimes the reason he doesn’t call is because he really likes you. Yeah, that sounds like bull to me, too…

 9.    Has it been 3 days yet?

2 days is industry standard but 3’s kinda money.  Check your calendar and check your patience. Some guys think there’s an actual playbook on how to seem eager but not too eager and are stuck in what they learned in “Swingers” (which if you haven’t seen, go see for insight into the stupidly awesome minds of single guys in their late 20’s, circa 1997).

10. You gave him the wrong number

Hey, you’re only human. No one’s perfect all the time. A possibility for human error on your part has to be allowed for.

11. He got hit by a car and either died or woke up with amnesia

Any questions?

So there you have it, ladies. More than 10 scenarios for you to obsess over while you check your blackberry, or iPhone, 6 times per hour, every hour, after waking. Or better yet, 10 keys to the chains that’ll set you free and clear of worrying over something you’ve got absolutely no control over. Don’t sweat the “what if.” What’ll happen will happen. You did your part. You gave him the chance to step up or slink away. Bravo for the bravery. It’s like any act of positivity, send it out in the world and hopefully it’ll pay off at some point down the line. In general, the biggest mistake is to never give him a chance…I mean, not if he’s, like, Charles Manson or something. Don’t give your number to Charles Manson.

Don’t blink,

The Dude Who?