Freshman year, there was a group of about ten of us who were super close. We ate together, we did our homework together, we partied together and pulled pranks on each other. Long story short, we were practically inseparable. That is, until the dormcest began, and it was intense. Very intense. I mean, my senior freshman dorm bar-crawl t-shirts literally had a web of who hooked up with who. Hello, gross.
Dormcest, especially floorcest, was quite the epidemic my freshman year. For the first month, I just didn’t get it. It was like making out with your closest friend. Didn’t anyone feel awkward? Weren’t they weirded out by it? Wasn’t it bizarre to be (essentially) sharing a room with the person you’re hooking up with? Maybe I was naive, but I voted yes.
Well, I thought that at least until I fell into the same trap. The boy who lived next door to me (thanks for the CoEd floors UD!), and I had quite a tumultuous relationship. At first, I thought he was annoying. A stereotypically D1 football player, with a fast car, loud music and constant stream of people coming in and out of his room to hang out. He was soo not my type. That is, until he was. I’ll spare you the details, but we started hooking up fairly regularly. We spent so much time together, we were practically married. We’d go to the dining hall together, run errands at Target together or even just study together. It just worked. But the tricky part about dormcest was, we weren’t dating.
Usually in a non-exclusive relationship, your mind does all of the assumption making, not your ears. But when you’re committing dormcest, your ears get a workout too. I would hear his door shut at 3am and wonder if some random girl was over or if he just got up to wander around. I was driving myself crazy. And on top of that, whatever I didn’t want to know usually came back to me via some rumor on the floor. Everyone always was up in each others business. All of the emotions of freshman year were over-intensified based on the position I put myself in.
In my case, everything ended amicably. I still speak to him all the time, but now instead of having this not-dating-but-we-act-like-we-are-married relationship, we talk about things like our jobs, cars and his (ugh) girlfriend. We’re close, and it’s great, but don’t think that everything was super happy-go-lucky all the time.
Dormcest is convenient. It’s fun, no-strings-attached and so…college. I mean, I only had to walk-of-shame 10 feet to my own door. How much better could it get?
But freshman, before you start playing just the tips with your entire floor, just be weary of your own emotions. Be careful, it’s easier than any other “relationship” I’ve ever been in to get hurt. With that said, have fun, go crazy. Just maybe, stay away from the RA.
What are your experiences with dormcest? Any tips for the new kids?