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The Top 6 College Hook-Up Blunders

If you’re a single college girl, chances are you have had a “what was I thinking” hook-up. Thanks to liquor, hormones, and the bad decisions of myself and my friends, I’ve been witness to more than a few. Here’s a list of the most common…and awkward. My sincerest apologies if I resurface any unpleasant memories.

1.  The Floormate/Neighbor

Floorcest, as it has been deemed, is the college equivalent of sleeping with a coworker. Not only is it hard to avoid the dude, but you probably have mutual friends, floormates, and neighbors just waiting to call you both out. In rare cases it does work out (two of my neighbors have been dating for months!) but 99% of the time, that one night results in a whole semester or two of awkward.

2. The Clinger

Of course the traditional clinger is female (think Isla Fisher in Wedding Crashers), but occasionally a guy will surprise you with too much unwanted post hookup contact. Sure a few texts here and there can be entertaining, but an immediate Facebook friend request followed by incessant messaging is borderline creepy. Somehow this guy didn’t get the memo about the morning after digit exchange just being a courtesy. [Editor note: and by “digit exchange,” we think she means phone number…not round 2.]

3. The Friend

This one is a definite oops. A lot of girls, including myself, have a close platonic male friend. Mutual friends joke you two will end up together (and, hey, maybe you will) but good guys are a rare find so why compromise the friendship.  Well, your buds Captain Morgan and Jack Daniels believe you should carpe diem and convince you otherwise. Needless to say, your friendship became a whole lot of complicated.

4. The Player

You know it’s a bad idea before it happens, but curiosity is a dangerous thing. His GTL regimen and aspiring rap career make him less than boyfriend material (and a bit of a joke), but you have to admit he’s a hottie. What’s the harm in having a little fun? Well for starters, the dude’s a walking health risk (statistically speaking, he’s got to have something). Diseases aside, you’ve given the douche an ego boost and given your friends a free pass to mock you for eternity.

5. The Could’ve Been Boyfriend

A good rule of thumb for college hook-ups, is: go for it if it’s safe and consensual, but don’t expect to find your future boyfriend (recall The Clinger). Many guys are still of the philosophy that THEY can sleep around, but if a girl does, she’s a slut you could never bring home to mom. So you’ve been flirting with Mr. Perfect for a while now, and one night, the stars align and so does his P and your V. The bad news is, you’re probably stuck in that hook-up girl category. There are obviously exceptions to this but it’s usually safe to say you’ve lost your shot.

6. The Novelty

Finally, there’s that guy that makes you go, “Eh, what the hell.” He has some feature that makes him unique (i.e has a sexy accent, plays on the football team etc.) and you rationalize you’ll never get that chance again. I’m all for embracing your sexuality, but if you sleep with every guy with a sexy attribute; you might get yourself some less-than-complimentary nicknames.

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    Comments

    Comments

    1. Polly says:

      "If you’re a single college girl, chances are you have had a “what was I thinking” hook-up."

      Well, that's where you lost me.

    2. Lexi says:

      So basically what I got from this article was "Don't hook up with anyone."

    3. throughglassesluridly says:

      Ok, so, why would you WANT a boyfriend who thinks that double standards and slut shaming is okay?

    4. throughaglassdarkly says:

      Really great advice…yeah, really great advice. Hey thanks for your unassuming contribution to society, what would we do without college girls educated in the ways of the one nite stand.

    5. becca k says:

      this was very entertaining. even though i'm not in college. but my sister is likely in this.
      and also, i dont think this was meant to say anything about society overall, jesus. chill.

    6. CeCe says:

      I love how seriously people take these articles…NOT. If you can't handle certain types of humor you might want to find a different website to browse.

    7. NeoDra says:

      it seems that i was just one of them…..

    8. […] 1.  The Floormate/Neighbor: Floorcest, as it has been deemed, is the college equivalent of sleeping with a coworker. Not only is it hard to avoid the dude, but you probably have mutual friends, floormates, and neighbors just waiting to call you both out. In rare cases it does work out (two of my neighbors have been dating for months!) but 99% of the time, that one night results in a whole semester or two of awkward. Read more… […]

    9. frogger says:

      There's always one freshman girl on the floor that hooks up the first drunken weekend at school.

    10. ellayourbella says:

      totally agree!

    11. shawn crannell says:

      http://www.quickcollegehookups.com that’s how to hook up with a college girl fast.

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