5 New Kardashian E! Shows that will Definitely Air Soon
I think it’s safe to say that the E! network is slowly becoming the Kardashian News Channel. Sure, we all love an E! True Hollywood Story marathon, some late-night Chelsea Handler or some laughs with the incredibly sexy Joel McHale, but after six seasons of Keeping Up with the Kardashians and three different spin-off shows, it’s become almost impossible to turn on that channel without seeing one of the infamous Armenian princesses.
…not that that’s a bad thing. As much as we try to deny it, we all have a bit of an obsession with the family who’s not really famous for anything (besides freeing OJ Simpson), and I think they’re going to continue to cash in on that obsession. The Kardashian family has now extended to include Kendall, Kylie, Scott, Mason and all the guys any of the girls publicly dated, so I contacted E! to see what kinds of spin-off shows they had lined up.
1. Bush of Love: With Reggie Bush
Poor Reggie… we all fell in love with him back in the day when he was dating Kim, but no matter how many times we yelled “PUT A RING ON IT!” at the TV, the couple never got serious and eventually had an ugly, emotional break-up. Even though he lost out on Kim, he’s clearly won his way into the realm of “famous” athletes who are really only famous for dating celebrities and appearing on reality shows- you know, right up there with Chad Ochocinco. So what’s the next step for the Saints player turned tabloid king? His own dating show, obviously! 25 “aspiring actresses”/”models”/
porn stars will move into a mansion and compete for screen time Reggie’s love until he finds The One.
2. Kris and Bruce: Divorce Court
Am I the only one who watches these shows and honestly feels bad for Bruce? He seems to be a sweet guy who cares about all the girls and only wants what’s best for them, but in exchange, Kris takes away his credit cards, makes him do all the housework, throws all his stuff into the garage and basically forces him to stay home all day playing with remote-control helicopters. Honestly, Kris still hasn’t had her big media moment and I think she’s ready to pull out the divorce papers… but only if the trials are broadcasted live and judged by Judge Joe Brown. I don’t know about you, but I’m #TeamJenner.
3. Kendall and Kylie take NY… but Only After They’ve Finished their Homework.
These girls are only 15 years old and E!’s already trying to promote them as professional young women ready to launch their own fragrance lines. It’s only a matter of time before Kris drops them off at the airport, hands them a few Benjamins and expects them to find love and success (more like sex tape partners and yet ANOTHER Dash boutique) in the Big Apple. Although, they’re probably going to have to finish high school and puberty first- oh wait, silly me… being a Kardashian means you get to skip the hard parts and go right for the riches.
4. Khloe and Lamar: Are We Pregnant Yet?
Ever since these two got hitched (which hasn’t even been that long since they got married after like 3 dates), the media’s been hyping up potential “baby bumps,” but then later learning that Khloe was carrying a few extra Twinkies- not a baby. When this show premieres, we’ll no longer have to rely on awkward-angled photos and over-sized clothing for a confirmation. The couple will take a weekly live pregnancy test every week, but only after all the viewers have called in or texted their votes to 1800-BABY-OR-TWINKIE (standard messaging rates may apply).
5. Rob Kardashian: It’s (Really Not That) Complicated
Unlike his crazy sisters who spend every minute in the spotlight, Rob tends to stay pretty under the radar… which is unfortunate because we tend to forget he exists, but in his new E! reality show, we’ll get to see what really goes on in the life of the last remaining male Kardashian (well, at least the last living semi-famous one). We’ll finally get to see him play hours of Xbox, going on vacation for no reason, playing golf with Scott, and still crying over his ex, Adrienne. No, but seriously- Hollywood life doesn’t get any more exciting than sitting around your mansion all day playing Black Ops and counting your inheritance cash.
Who’s your favorite Kardashian? Do you think we need more reality shows from them or should the E! writers come up with some new, original content?