Should I Dump My High School Boyfriend?

By The Dude

High school, that little local bubble of a world (unless you’re in an out of state school for one reason or another). A lot of couples are practically tied to the hip when graduation comes and then there’s the decision that has to be made: “Do I take the relationship to college with me?”

The answer to this question is no…I think? Usually? It depends, right? I mean if you’re…but on the hand if you’re…Damn you, game of life! How dare you be so on the fence?

There are some key questions to confront (separately and together) when deciding whether to “take a break” from each other to explore the college frontier. For instance, is he going to the same college as you? If the answer is yes, then, well, that makes things…yeah. On the other hand, if you’re going to be on different continents and there’s no possibility of seeing each other for months on end then, well, yeah! You see? Circumstances!

There are a million and a half variables to consider. How long have you been together? Have you dropped the L bomb yet? How far apart will you be? Are you only together because the dating pool at your high school was less ripe than after each year at Sunnydale High (you know, cause all the monsters and vampires would kill off so many students that there must have only been a few options…yeah…GILES!).

Plenty of couples decide to give it the ol’ college try. I can’t think of one that worked out. But that’s just me. I’m sure it must have for someone. However, all my experiences and observations seem to indicate that the high school sweethearts who make it all the way to the college graduation stage-without having broken up at some point-is the BIG exception, not the rule.

I’ve known people who got engaged to keep the relationship together. By junior year, the wedding was off. On the other hand, I’ve known couples who’ve given each other space with the full intent of seeing where things stood a year later. When the time came to reconnect they were both standing on different ground.

College is a time for self-discovery. You try new things, meet a lot of new people, and need to be emotionally open to help develop into the next phase of your life.  You really don’t know what’s going to happen. A lifetime of experiences is going to engulf you every, single, year. It’s tough to imagine that’s true but stretch your creative faculties. And still, you don’t know what you’re in for or how much college will affect you.

Being committed when you arrive can be a great source of self-protection and comfort for the adjustment period. But to make the relationship last will take A LOT of work. And I mean WORK! You can’t just go over to each other’s house after school or know you’ll see each other every day in/between/after classes. Are you ready to give your commitment that kind of commitment? It’ll mean sacrificing some of the college experience. Although, one could argue a valid college experience is trying to hold onto a high school relationship…stupid, twisty-turny, timey-wimey life *kicks can down the street*

The best you can do is weigh the pros with the cons. What will the relationship give you and what will it take away from the next step? There’s no question that your high school boyfriend can be a major drain on your college social life. And believe me, developing a college social life is a major part of the experience and contributes to your evolution into adulthood. And the lack thereof will too.

If all’s well and you both want to give it a go, then, hey, why not? You’ll find out soon enough if it won’t hold up. Just beware: the break up will be messier.

On the other hand, if you’re just having a good time right now then a clean break before you start earning credits might be the best possible thing for both of you. Sure, it’ll hurt, but it’ll hurt worse later.

Who knows though, maybe, just maybe, you and your beau could be the one in a million that lasts.

The choice is yours and it’s circumstantial. Take a look around and see where you both are and how deep you’re in.

I’ve given you all the warnings from every perspective I could while not closing the door on any of the possible choices one can make. Now comes my opinion: Take a break. Doesn’t have to be permanent, but you’ll be surprised to find that it might be necessary…

Your orientation leader,

The Dude