When Flirting Becomes Stalking

Ladies, we have all been there. It’s summer. There’s a bonfire. You look fabulous in your bikini. You’ve had a drink (or two… or three…). And that guy is hot. And you just want him to notice you and become your cabana boy for the next three months. It happens. But there is a very thin line between flirty and creepy.

Fortunately for you fabulous CollegeCandy readers, I’ve devised a simple yet effective checklist to ensure that your fine-tuned flirting skills do not wander into stalker territory. 

  • Making eye contact across the party floor while dancing? Flirty. Climbing on top of a table, shouting his name, and then ripping your shirt off and throwing it in his direction? Stalker.
  • Biting your lip, just a little bit? Flirty. Gnawing on your lip in a way that appears as if you’re attempting to stop yourself from stealing his liver? Stalker.
  • Sending him cute text messages to hang out? Flirty. Repeatedly texting him to figure out his exact location, company, and activity? Stalker.
  • Planning to look hot at a party amongst friends that you know he’s attending? Flirty. Crashing a party you know he’s attending, even though you don’t know anyone there except him and you haven’t been invited? Stalker.
  • Inviting him to coffee? Flirty. Watching what he orders at a coffee shop and then tracking him down at his summer job a few days later to ask him how his grande white chocolate mocha was on Thursday? Stalker.
  • Making him laugh with your go-to funny story? Flirty. Laughing way-too-hysterically at everything he says? Stalker.
  • Surprising him on his birthday with a homemade cake? Flirty. Surprising him everyday by waiting outside his door or watching him through his windows? Stalker.
  • Cute comments on his Facebook status or photos? Flirty.  Repeatedly Facebook chatting him to get his attention, “liking” everything he posts, and attacking other girls who post on his wall? Stalker.

The line between flirting and stalking is thin. There can be too much of a good thing – lip biting, hotness, attention-seeking. If you start to feel a little crazy, you probably are a little crazy. So chill out by the pool or eat an extra slice of pineapple. No need to wander into “Stalker Land” because that is a label that is hard to shake. Stay cute and classy, ladies. And remember: if you feel suddenly desperate to get his attention, take a few deep breaths and think before you flirt… or else, you might get called, “stalker.”



  1. therelationshipflunkie says:

    Not sure how your party scenario really offers a clear-cut line in the sand. . . ;)

    But I still love the post!

  2. […] The thin line between flirty and creepy. (College Candy) […]

  3. Miriam says:

    "Making him laugh with your go-to funny story? Flirty. Laughing way-too-hysterically at everything he says? Stalker."

    What?! Weird, yes. Awkward, yes. But STALKING? No.

  4. lili says:

    its obious that no one will think that the second options are ok i mean really who would do dat

  5. Neo says:

    Stalking is weird…

  6. Maria says:

    This is a very useful guide, that many online dating folks should read. Some people are just not stable enough for flirting…

  7. Jessica says:

    True guide, sometimes flirting can become to much. You have to know when to keep and when to keep it off.

  8. Forshorn says:

    Stalking can be terrible. Just ask David Letterman or Adam Ant, whose lives were almost ruined by stalkers. But we've expanded the definition to include a little lack of restraint or persistence when approaching someone. In many cases, this is neither dangerous nor a sign that something dangerous is in the offing. Worse, it has a chilling effect, making dating difficult. Stalking is defined by the way the person on he receiving end perceives it. That is to say, it's not defined by the behavior. It imposes puritanical restrictions on the best parts of life – flirting, even getting carried away, falling in love… We're all inhibited now.

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