Tyra Banks’ Worst Nightmares

By Jessica Zaleski

I’m sure Tyra Banks has sweet dreams every night. She’s got tons of money, goes to Harvard (kind of) and she’s about to release a book, called Modelland, which is sure to win the Nobel Prize in Literature. So how could she ever have a bad night’s sleep?

Well we’ve decided to make a list of what Tyra’s worst nightmares would be if she had them, and the nightmares of a retired Victoria’s Secret model are TYRA-FYING.

1. Forgetting how to “Smize”

Tyra basically invented smizing (that’s smile with your eyes for those of you not up-to-date on Tyra lingo). She probably smized right out of the womb because she didn’t have real teeth yet. If she went to a photo shoot and forgot how to smize, her empire would crumble.

2. Getting Fat Again

We all remember those pictures of Tyra in a bathing suit that wasn’t very flattering. She was getting criticized left and right for being too plump, and then she told everyone to “Kiss my fat ass!” on her talk show. It would have been empowering, except she lost the weight soon after and was back to looking like model Tyra.

3. Reuniting with America’s Next Top Model Losers

This nightmare is actually a reality. Next week, a new season of ANTM premieres, and the model hopefuls are all losers from previous seasons.  This means we will get to see more of Bre “you stole my granola bars” Scullark and Isis “the transgender one” King.