High School Friends as Roommates: A Definite Don’t

September 13, 2011 9:30 am     Posted in Back to School, College  Khalea - Howard University g+ page


By Khalea

Our friends are supposed to be the ones we come to in our most dire times of need. The people who hold our hair back after a long night of Nuvo, the ones who we have on speed dial – right after mom and Chipotle pick up. Anyone lucky enough to have a good friend knows that if done correctly, friendship can be everything. Just not a living arrangement.

Now correct me if I’m wrong (and I know that CollegeCandy readers aren’t afraid to do this!), but friends do not make good roommates. Hanging out with friends at school is fine, lunch dates are cool and visits are awesome. But a year-round sleepover is a huge mistake!

If you get tired of being around your younger sister for 24 hours, imagine being around your bestie. You know little sissy’s deep, dark, disgusting habits and preferences – the way she leaves the carton of juice on the table after breakfast, how she hogs up the bathroom in the morning because “she wants to feel fresh before school,” how she sleeps with her closet light on because it reminds her of sunset – the list goes on and on. You don’t know every single annoying thing that your best friend does, and trust me; you don’t want to find out. You can expect the worst from your siblings because you’ve unfortunately seen it all by now. And if you’re lucky, one door slam makes it all go away. Getting adjusted to those close living quarters and your friends’ habits may be too much at one time.

Besides unexpected revisions to your internal best friend encyclopedia, expect to get tired of your home girl. The prospect of going to school with someone who is close to you is great, don’t get me wrong – especially if you’re coming from out of state. But imagine riding to school with her. Unpacking with her. Sleeping in the same room. Washing up together. Going to breakfast, going to class and going to the same social events. Amiga overload, much? I’ve seen it happen so many times; people come to school with pre-determined cliques and never take the initiative to meet new friends.  That’s a huge part of the college experience that shouldn’t be wasted.

Friends get into the hugest fights after living together. They can be over the smallest things (like sleeping arrangements or channel preferences). Those small problems have the potential to turn into bigger problems over time.  You don’t want to lose your friend over a miniscule issue – true buddies are harder to find as we get older. Maintaining a good, solid friendship is tough work. Adding a bunk bed and a small closet into the mix can throw things in the wrong direction.

I implore you to let your housing office do the choosing. Take a chance! If your friend is a good one, she’ll be waiting in the wings.

Disagree? So did Meg! Read her pro-living-with-high-school-friend post right here. Had your own similar experience? Tell us below.

5 Comments on "High School Friends as Roommates: A Definite Don’t"

  1. kirsten says:
    Tue, 13th Sep 20119:44 am 

    One of my best friends from high school ended up in the dorm room right next to mine. It worked out perfectly because we got to hang out a lot but didn't get frustrated with each other because we lived in the same small box!

  2. fifa says:
    Wed, 21st Sep 20118:31 am 

    Well, if someone really is your "true buddy" woudn't this mean it's easier to talk to them when something bothers you? Let's face it, everyone has annoying habits, your customs will always annoy someone. And your random roommate will also have these. I think it is easier to tell your friend if something annoys you than telling a complete stranger.

    However I do get the "amiga ovreload" idea, but again, not that big of an issue, You both know you're going to be making new friends, no??

    It all depends on the friend, and on how close you are, I think, but I think it isn't a bad idea for everybody.

  3. Maya says:
    Tue, 8th Nov 20115:55 pm 

    Omg I agree with this so much! Here in the Netherlands you're in high school for 6 years in the same class (group of about 25), and while I loved my friends there becoming an adult changes you enough that after those 6 years, I'd never never never want to live in the same room with them!
    Most friendships just fall apart after becoming so different (and living together would accelerate that) and I don't know, but after 6 years I was kinda ready to meet new people…

  4. Tabitha says:
    Sat, 12th Nov 20116:28 pm 

    I know lots of people who this happens to, and when I was planning to move out I got this advice a LOT. I've been sharing "the same small box" with my best friend since August, though, and it's been awesome! We're even closer than we were before (and we were crazy close even before we moved out), and there are so many things that we'd miss out on in each other's lives if we weren't roomates! It's been an awesome experience and I love being roomies with my best friend – I think it just goes to show that it all depends. If you're not together ALL the time (she has work and school, I have school) so that you actually miss each other at the end of the day, and if you're both kind of laid-back, like both of us are, it can work out fine. Just go with your gut; deep down you probably already know whether you guys will make good roomates.

  5. Manuel says:
    Thu, 9th Aug 20123:03 pm 

    Very interesting ttgouhhs, Fez. I just this morning realized that my cousin, with whom I spend 2-3 days a week, had twice this week made “sabotage” comments about things I was trying to improve (my weight and all the “stuff” in my house) I think probably out of some feeling that she should be working on these things also, but can’t make herself do it. Not sure I can confront her about it, as she would certainly deny trying to hold me back. Probably have to settle for calling it what it is and letting it slide off me. Wonder if over time she’ll get more positive?

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