Seven Things You Should NEVER Share With Your Girlfriends
September 22, 2011 1:00 pm Posted in Entertainment
Listen up. There is one thing I need to get off my chest this morning, and no, it’s not the betrayal I feel after being brutally attacked by my hairdryer. Whoever said that sharing is caring lied. Au contraire, kindergarten teacher, sharing is NOT caring and it is NOT fun.
I will, however, make an exception for my best friend’s new dress though, because that is oh-so fun to share.
Anyway, getting back on track here…there are things in this girl power filled world that we should just not share. In fact, we should keep these things tighter than tight to our bosom and never, ever share them. Not with your best friend, not with your mom, not with your sister, not with your third cousin, not with Cuddly, the teddy bear your dad won for you 13 years ago at the state fair.
No, no, no. But if you’re raising a fine eyebrow at me, let me explain. If you’re wondering what to share and what not to share, use the list below as your guide. The ladies here at CollegeCandy drove through a list of seven no-nos when it comes to sharing:
1. Your Underwear
Okay, I have to admit, I broke this rule. BUT LET ME EXPLAIN! It was in high school and my best friend needed a new pair of underwear AND I SWEAR THEY WERE CLEAN! I swear. But never, never, ever will I make an exception this rule, and neither should you. If your best friend wants to switch undies with you…say no. Sharing undies does not make you besties and it does not make you wild. To be honest, the only thing in does make you is next in line to share STDs. Ew.
2. Your Toothbrush
God, okay, broke this rule too. Not on purpose though. My college roommate and I bought our toothbrushes together, and for a while she thought hers was mine, until one night I caught her shining her pearly whites with my brush. The moral of this story, ladies, DO NOT SHARE! I should have just kept my brush like one of my other roomies — in its own mug on the opposite end of the shelf. But really, don’t share your toothbrush, it’s gross. They practically give them away at the dentist office.
3. Your Gum
Your gum, your germs. You friends gum, your friend’s germs. Why I am going to explain this to you, I don’t know. Keep your germs IN YOUR OWN MOUTH! Under no circumstances – none at all! – should you swap spit with a girlfriend. Wondering what she had for lunch? If you share gum you’re guaranteed to find out! Not even in her moment of need should you resort to this! It is yucky. Buy breath mints, buy bulk packs of gum, but for the love of all things sanitary keep your gum to yourself!
4. Your Retainer
Yes, yes, I know, we all want beautiful straight, sparkly teeth. There is no existing rule that says if you have pearly whites than your friends should have them too. Ergo, do not share your retainer. There a reason they take molds of your teeth. There is a reason that it only fits your mouth. If you are going to dispute this no-sharing rule, then I don’t even know what to say to you.
5. Your Brother/Sister
I have been on the receiving end of this awful, awful tragedy. Just kidding, it wasn’t that bad. A girl that I went to high school with hooked up with my brother. Who is three years older. Granted, they just kissed but it was gross. It still is gross. For some people, sibling sharing works. For others, like myself, it doesn’t. There is an entire population of same-aged folk devoted to your brother and another for sister. Why do you have to steal from another generation for some tail? I mean really. Stick to your own population pool, creeps. (PS: My brother is not a pervert, we were 18 and he was 21.)
6. Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Partner
I can gladly say that I have never shared my boyfriend…as far as I know. Maybe when he’s not my boyfriend anymore and about 20 years have elapsed since our relationship ended, maybe then I’ll fork over my rights. Some people keep it interesting by sharing. How these people do it, I will never ever know. I think for me it would boil over a huge pot of insecurities. What if my best friend is better? What if my boyfriend is more attracted to her? No and no. No thanks. I’m just fine letting these crazy, outlandish, impossible ideas simmer in the deepest, darkest corner of my mind forever. And frankly, if you’re not down with sharing your partner, then you should too.
7. Your Contacts
Maybe there is way around this. As a non-contact wearer, I can’t say for sure. All I know is I definitely do not want to share something that has sat on top of my eyeballs all day with another set of eyes. Yuck! Nothing about that screams hygienic. Glasses, I can understand sharing, but not contacts. Anything that’s going in your eyeball should stay out of your best friends. Besides, 1-800-CONTACTS has commercials on TV like every three seconds, and it’s not a hard number to remember.
Well there you have it! We’ve nailed seven reasons that you should keep your fingers, toes, brothers, contacts and retainers to yourself. In college the line of safely swapping gets blurred (usually because you’re drunk and can’t see straight) but you should never compromise your hygiene! Seriously. It’s gross.
Uh, now that I’m done sounding like your mom, have any more absolute no-nos when it comes to swapping? We’re dying to hear them!