One Month Challenge: I Love My Body, Week Three

[Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. Last month Tiffany spent a month at Outward Bound and challenged her physical limits. This month, Ashley's going to try to stop hating on her body so much. Can she do it!? Could you?]

By Ashley

So here’s another thing this challenge has taught me about myself — It’s REALLY hard for me to keep my promises. But only when it comes to me, I always follow through with promises I make to other people. This is probably because when the person on the other end of the promise is me, there’s no one to hold me accountable for that promise. To be perfectly honest, I’ve fallen off a little this week. Here are the actions and comments that were not very “I love my body” friendly:

1. I let the scale convince me that I wasn’t disciplined enough. I let a minor .4 of a lb make me feel like shit. I woke up on Sunday morning and for whatever reason put all my happy eggs in the “my weight will be down this week, I know it” basket. It had been a while since I last weighed myself and with all the running I’d been doing I was certain the scale was going to reflect all my hard work. I was wrong…or was I? Of course I should have known better, I knew that my weight didn’t necessarily reflect how healthy I was or how much I’d been working out. I was happy with how I looked and how I was fitting into old clothes again, but for whatever reason I needed a scale to reassure me. Now that Sunday’s long gone I’m over it and I realize I can’t keep putting myself through that. Stupid me (and stupid scale)!
2. I let two zits make me have an “ugly day” and I dressed and acted accordingly. Whenever I’m feeling yucky or ugly I dress in sweats, I don’t do my hair, and I’m more or less a bit apathetic to life that day. Luckily, I straight up said “I feel ugly today” out loudin front of my boyfriend and he reminded me that I was still beautiful and the zits would be gone in a day or two. I was over reacting to the blemishes and I knew it, but having him remind me of how silly I was being snapped me back to reality. Zits-0, Me-1, Boyfriend- 10.
3. I looked at pictures of myself from last summer and started a roast. I immediately talked about how pudgy my face looked and pointed out other flaws. I completely missed reminiscing on how I had a REALLY good time that day tubing down the river and spending time with my boyfriend, his brother, and his brother’s girlfriend. I then remembered how I laughed so hard so many times that day my abs hurt (laughter workout for the win!) and how I didn’t spend that day worried about my body. Leave it up to me to give myself a hard time over a year old picture.

Even though I had some downfalls this week, I’ve put them behind me. A big part of not picking myself apart has to be letting go of my mistakes as well. I’ve lived them and learned from them- now onto the good stuff. Here are some things that went well this week:

1. I made a few purchases I wouldn’t dare have a year ago and I mixed and matched some old clothes from my closet with newer stuff so it’s like I got a few new outfits to show off my bod — yay! Favorite purchase: one of those cheap, sexy, basic-must-have, black, stretchy mini skirts
2. I ran three miles outside three times and it made me feel GREAT! I loved how my legs kept going even though they felt tired and my asthma didn’t hold me back. I thanked my body after each run. And yes, this is a big accomplishment for me. I’ve never been able to run long distances. I was a sprinter on track in high school, but I was also the girl that dreaded the gym class yearly mile run for fitness testing. Between my low endurance, terrible asthma, and laziness despite my athleticism I’ve always hated and avoided running. Hurray for my body not failing me on my runs!
3. I ATE ALL THE THINGS! Not actually, but I did everything I wanted and I realized I’m not a binge eater. Even having a pack of Peanut Butter M&Ms and giving in to a few other cravings didn’t make me feel like I ate a ton and was fat. I more or less ate like normal, but when I had treats/snacks it made me less hungry for dinner. Who knew eating more could make you eat less?

Although this week has had its ups and downs, this weekend is technically my birthday weekend and I’ve been a little worried about it. I want to be able to wear something cute, go out to dinner, and go out afterward without worrying about my body. Last year I did almost nothing for my birthday, large in part to my poor body image. I’ve decided I’m going to handle it by having a theme song (hey, why not?). This year, I’ll bring in 23 bumpin’ Chalie Boy’s “I Look Good”. It’s silly and cocky and will give me all the swag I need to not give a crap about my body on my birthday.

Are you taking this challenge with Ashley? Let us know how it’s going!