He Said/She Said: Oral Sex Etiquette

I’ve got to be honest…I hate giving oral sex. If I’m going to be sticking a massive sausage down my throat, it better at least be edible.  (And no, unless the stuff that comes out is BBQ sauce, it doesn’t count). But just because I don’t like it, doesn’t mean I haven’t done it before. If the guy loves it and I love the guy, well then, consider it me giving him a gift each time. Otherwise, dude, my hand or your hand works just fine! Or if my guy and I are already having sex, let’s just get straight to that instead. Nevertheless, oral sex has become a part of our sexual culture and it seems to be the norm and at times, precursor to sex. So for those of you who have given oral and made up your mind about it, you’ve got your own opinions on the etiquette of giving oral sex. That said, here are mine:

  • Yes, you may play with my hair or lightly caress my head, but if you push my head down hard towards your package (gently is fine, that way I know I’m doing a good job…but if it’s an aggressive push…) that’ll be the end. As said before, I’m giving you something, don’t get carried away now.
  • If it lasts longer than five minutes, be a doll and just let me stop. Please. Five minutes is way too long to have something jab at my throat repeatedly.
  • Don’t be offended if I spit. Let’s be real here, if his man-juices tasted like a strawberry-banana smoothie, things would be different. Spits or swallows baby, it’s the ladies choice.
  • If both partners are performing oral, let the guy give it first. It’ll make him more aroused and that way he won’t get impatient with you later.
  • If you can, please groom properly so that the skin surrounding my mouth isn’t raw by the time I’m done. Likewise for the ladies on this one.
  • Kissing after oral? Depends on how I feel about the guy. If I’m in love, I’m all for it. If not, let’s stick to kissing everywhere but there.
  • For the guy, if you insist on finishing somewhere other than my mouth (he’s a keeper), my bed sheets are not an option. Grab a small towel or use your boxers.
  • Please have showered at some point during the day. Thank you.
  • Please let your partner know if you’ve got an STD in advance. Like, waaay in advance.

I know a lot of girls out there feel empowered when they’re giving oral sex, but I’m not one of those girls. I am not going to deny a dude of it if we’re at that stage in our relationship and he really likes it, but at the same time, if I knew a guy I was seeing hated going down on someone, I definitely wouldn’t push it. It’s simply a matter of respect for me.

Alright readers out there, I just gave oral sex a piece of my mind, so feel free to let me know what’s on yours with this topic. Be easy on me now, we’re all entitled to our own opinions.

And to see what He Says about oral sex etiquette (we really can’t wait), head on over to COED Magazine.

secret girl - UT AustinCOLLEGECANDY Writer