He Said/She Said: Oral Sex Etiquette

I’ve got to be honest…I hate giving oral sex. If I’m going to be sticking a massive sausage down my throat, it better at least be edible.  (And no, unless the stuff that comes out is BBQ sauce, it doesn’t count). But just because I don’t like it, doesn’t mean I haven’t done it before. If the guy loves it and I love the guy, well then, consider it me giving him a gift each time. Otherwise, dude, my hand or your hand works just fine! Or if my guy and I are already having sex, let’s just get straight to that instead. Nevertheless, oral sex has become a part of our sexual culture and it seems to be the norm and at times, precursor to sex. So for those of you who have given oral and made up your mind about it, you’ve got your own opinions on the etiquette of giving oral sex. That said, here are mine:

  • Yes, you may play with my hair or lightly caress my head, but if you push my head down hard towards your package (gently is fine, that way I know I’m doing a good job…but if it’s an aggressive push…) that’ll be the end. As said before, I’m giving you something, don’t get carried away now.
  • If it lasts longer than five minutes, be a doll and just let me stop. Please. Five minutes is way too long to have something jab at my throat repeatedly.
  • Don’t be offended if I spit. Let’s be real here, if his man-juices tasted like a strawberry-banana smoothie, things would be different. Spits or swallows baby, it’s the ladies choice.
  • If both partners are performing oral, let the guy give it first. It’ll make him more aroused and that way he won’t get impatient with you later.
  • If you can, please groom properly so that the skin surrounding my mouth isn’t raw by the time I’m done. Likewise for the ladies on this one.
  • Kissing after oral? Depends on how I feel about the guy. If I’m in love, I’m all for it. If not, let’s stick to kissing everywhere but there.
  • For the guy, if you insist on finishing somewhere other than my mouth (he’s a keeper), my bed sheets are not an option. Grab a small towel or use your boxers.
  • Please have showered at some point during the day. Thank you.
  • Please let your partner know if you’ve got an STD in advance. Like, waaay in advance.

I know a lot of girls out there feel empowered when they’re giving oral sex, but I’m not one of those girls. I am not going to deny a dude of it if we’re at that stage in our relationship and he really likes it, but at the same time, if I knew a guy I was seeing hated going down on someone, I definitely wouldn’t push it. It’s simply a matter of respect for me.

Alright readers out there, I just gave oral sex a piece of my mind, so feel free to let me know what’s on yours with this topic. Be easy on me now, we’re all entitled to our own opinions.

And to see what He Says about oral sex etiquette (we really can’t wait), head on over to COED Magazine.




  2. That Girl says:

    "Be easy on me now, we’re all entitled to our own opinions."

    Uh..why even have a comment section then, lol?

    1. Rachel says:

      The comment section isn't there for us to just bash the writers. It IS possible to respectfully disagree, you know.

  3. Kennedy says:

    I don't think it matters what his man juices taste like, I'm probably gonna be spitting anyway, strawberry banana smoothie flavored or not. Just saying.

  4. Annie says:

    I actually like giving head. It's as fun and interesting as you make it…and a little seductive eye contact and switching up the technique go a long way :) Pretty much before every time I have sex I end up down there…as long as the guy reciprocates! I used to feel pretty insecure about what I was doing before I was too experienced but watching a little porn is a good education lol

  5. skeletonfingers says:

    The pornography industry has certain made a huge influence on how we see oral sex, after all it's supposed to create fantasy. In real sexual encounters, the ones without giant fake boobs, oral sex isn't a necessity and should be considered a gift (some people like giving gifts). It's a gift because it isn't mutually beneficial in most cases while actual intercourse is. Besides, no oral sex during foreplay means I last quite a bit longer, which is mutually beneficial.

  6. […] He Said/She Said: Oral Sex Etiquette ( […]

  7. […] • Etiquette tips for oral. (College Candy) […]

  8. Steve says:

    As a guy and said receiver of blowjobs, I feel compelled to put my two cents in.
    There are many, many women who don't give good head. Yes, we men appreciate the effort and we don't complain but this leads to miscommunication. We don't get what we really want and yet you think that you've given us this great gift. (Hmm… sounds familiar…. Faking orgasms, anyone?)
    There is an extremely simple explanation for this. If you don't like giving head, it is VERY, VERY difficult for you to become good at it.
    Chris Rock said it in one of his stand-up specials:
    "Whenever l meet a girl that doesn't give head… l look at them like a damn Betamax,
    ''They still make you?''
    And when it comes to head, there's three types of women:
    A: Women that don't give head. Bye, leave, see you.
    B: Women that give you just enough head to shut you up. You ever meet them women? They're like, ''You okay?'' l hate them women!
    And number three, my favorite woman: the woman that likes nothing better than to suck a dick.
    That's right, God bless all of you!"

    And this doesn't just go one way. If he doesn't like going down on you, he's never going to be good at it.The unfortunate result is two dissatisfied people.

  9. Guest says:

    Guys perspective:

    If you dont like giving head, dont expect too much of it from us. A nice guy will take the lead a couple of times, but if its not reciprocated, it just makes no sense to continue.

    Hand Jobs are NOT an alternative. Never. The only time guys tolerate it is in foreplay, and even then it's uncomfortable. You need to understand that we dont have natural lubrication down there like you do when we get turned on. Tugging on us down there just hurts.

    Likewise, minimize hand usage during a BJ. Your mouth is doing the work, is warm, and provides the moisture.

    And yes, a reasonable guy will not expect to finish in your mouth. It helps if you provide an alternative though (especially in your place).

  10. alliwannadoisblowu says:

    Well, I can tell u that i’ve been called a bj queen & taught a girl friend how to give 1? (dont remember that but)

    i love giving bjs, especially if its the love of ur life. the power to please him, the control, the passion! when i give 1 i feel so much love & its showin & givin my love to him. its a very intimate & erotic moment to me. & of course it has to be reciprocated. 1 hand washes the other. cuz if i dont receive u dont get!

    so come on ladies show the men some love! lol! get it on people

  11. Curious says:

    How do you spit it out? Do you just leave to go to the sink?

  12. mon says:

    I personally love giving my bf pleasure… nothing gets me hotter by hearing him moan. I even rub myself and get myself off while doing it for him, which he loves ;)

    Thing is though, if its not your thing, its not reasonable to expect it in return. Respect goes both ways.

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