Responding to Your Comments (Especially the Bad Ones): Part 2

Hey, hey!  The first edition of crazy comments did so well, we thought it was time for Round 2!

Here at CollegeCandy, we’re constantly getting feedback from our readers (which we LOVE — keep it coming!). But every now and then (okay, fine, everyday), we get some strange, awkward and just downright offensive comments. Instead of ignoring these trolls and letting them have the last laugh from the dark depths of their parent’s basement, we decided to give them a little shout out.

(From: The Perfect Man…Or Is He?)

What are these “womyn” you speak of? Is that like some weird alien race like the blue people in Avatar?

(From: Top 11 Women he Fantasizes About)

So, I don’t know if you know this, but Michelle Obama is like… the only First Lady EVER to actually take action for public health and fitness. Not to mention, she actually works out AND has been photographed taking dance lessons from Beyonce. PS, the turkey is a majestic, beautiful animal that happens to be the official state game bird of my hood, Massachusetts, so I would think twice before dissing the feathered friend that makes your Thanksgiving holiday so damn delicious.

(From: 7 Reasons You Should Never Date a Bro)

Wait, wait, wait… is that an option? Which goalie are we talking? Hope he’s one of those cute European soccer players.

(From: An Open Letter to Girls Who Say “Daddy”)

Is your own father ALWAYS the first person you turn to when having bowel problems? Someone’s got some disturbing daddy issues.

(from: If He Wanted to Be With You, He’d Be With You)

Seriously, I don’t think there’s anything worse than a white, female writer. And, wow, are you some type of sex column psychic? Your ability to know the author’s dating/sex record just by reading one article is truly circus-worthy. No seriously, I heard Ringling Bros. is hiring.

(From: Why Sluts Have All the Fun)

LOL, your comment is just an excuse for people to channel all their insecurities and rage into an offensive, unnecessary comment.

(From: Do’s and Don’ts of Studying Abroad)

Gah, I was taking your comment SO seriously until the “cuz” and the “plz.” And wait, if it’s NOT an Asian candy, why did you feel the need to clarify what country you DON’T “think” it’s from?

(From: The Abortion Issue)

I just came up with the perfect slogan for Obama’s reelection campaign if Michelle Bachman gets the Republican nomination:

OBAMA 2012: Because Michelle’s PMS JUST MIGHT start a war!

{From: So You Thought You Were a Lesbian…}

Guuuurl, you better run to the bathroom or else you’re gonna ruin your computer. No seriously, if your computer breaks, you won’t be able to post any comments and then I’ll have no content for this series…

{From: Men Could Never Walk in our Stilettos}

Maybe every guy on Earth WOULD back you up on that one, but unlucky for you, this is a women’s site. For every ONE guy who posts a comment claiming that having a penis is more painful than childbirth, there are like 100 fertile-but-scared-to-bear-children girls ready to put you back in your place.

{From: How We Think Guys Watch Sports}

I don’t know who’s the more one-dimensional stereotype in your comment: you being the douchey “big-man-on-campus” who classifies people by what school they go to, or the guy who pretends to know something about Hollywood but says “Anna Fair” instead of Anna Faris.

{From: Body Blog – Inner Thigh Gap}

Woah… I’ve actually never thought about that before. IS there any fat stored in the brain? PS, if you’re gonna search for “marykateolsen” (although, I don’t know what that had to do with anything), I suggest using your space bar.

{From: The Top 6 College Hook-Up Blunders}

Yes, and remember: “Don’t have sex. You will get pregnant and die. Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up… just don’t do it, promise? Okay, everyone take some rubbers.”

(From: Abercrombie & Fitch is the Worst Place on Earth)

Getting to spend hours finding the absolute worst comments and then writing witty responses back to them? Hell yeah, I DO have a sweet job. (PS, live a little and splurge once or twice before you get old, okay?)