Glamour Says the Darnedest Things: November Edition

By Jasmine R.

Kristen Stewart almost looks like she has an expression on this month’s cover of Glamour. I don’t know how to feel about this. Sullen works for her, but I can’t begrudge her any attempts to look happy or engaged.

This month’s issue is pretty inoffensive. There was a strong emphasis on health, which I appreciate. And I was reminded that Mercury retrograde falls over Thanksgiving this year, so I’m already mentally preparing for a hot mess holiday of ridiculous proportions. Even the relationship section was less horrific than usual. There was an articled on “How to be a Man-Magnet” that had some good pieces of advice (don’t insult other women, be proud of your ambitions, don’t expect every guy to be marriage material…), though some gems were a little less constructive.

Glamour says: Be easygoing
Jasmine says: Easygoing is a character trait, not something you can just will yourself to do. Some of us are a little more intense than others, and that can be just as attractive as being the girl with NP cares in the world.

Glamour says: Don’t dress for girls.
Jasmine says: Dress however you want. Whether you feel most confident in a bandage dress and five inch stilettos or a maxi dress and mocassins, do you. Guys would have us all walking around in jeans and a t-shirt, which, while classic, is kind of snoozeworthy.

Glamour says: No bitching.
Jasmine says: Isn’t one of the joys of being an adult bonding with other adults about things that suck?

Glamour says: Perfect the art of sexting.
Jasmine says: Sexting is mad overrated. I enjoy a sexy text as much as the next person, but it is not the end-all and be-all of flirting.