Single Girl Society – Don’t Fall For A Weed In A Flower’s Suit

By Anjli

Lesson #43 – Don’t Fall For A Weed In A Flower’s Suit

When I was younger, I used to spend afternoons collecting bouquets of what I thought, at the time, were wildflowers. When I skipped into my house, unaware of the mud stains on my clothes, and too consumed with my new bunch of handpicked flowers, my mother would always shake her head and laugh at me. As she put my handpicked bouquet into a paper cup, she’d smile and say, “These are just weeds with cute outfits.” Looking back, I wish I would’ve taken her input more seriously, because as soon as I started dating, I quickly learned her advice applied to more than just gardening.

When it comes to guys, why is that the worst weeds disguise themselves as flowers? As my luck would’ve have it, the most annoying weeds that I can’t seem to get rid of in my dating life were the guys that caught my eye first. This theory even goes beyond looks. (Not to say I haven’t been drawn to an impeccably dressed guy rocking a crisp Brooks Brothers’ shirt and tie, only to realize that his good sense of style was just about the only good thing about him…) It seems like the life of the party guy — who may not even be the most attractive flower in the bunch, but certainly had the most entertaining personality — has also turned out to be one of the biggest weeds in my life.

We say that we can’t fall for someone unless we have that initial attraction, but most times I find that it’s the initial attraction that ends up screwing me over. He looks great on paper, his first date personality is practically perfect, and yet just mere weeks later, he’s got his eyes glued to ESPN at all times, except, of course, for the times when they’re glued to my boobs.

Just like those supposed wildflowers from my childhood, I pick these guys who at the time give me a sense of pride, like, “Wow, I found something special,” and sure enough, you realize he’s not special at all, he’s just another weed in a well-tailored suit.”

What is it about girls? We’re so attracted to anything even slightly shiny, whether it’s the gleam of a guy’s smile or his flashy personality that could easily rank him as a local celebrity. We’re so attracted that we lose perspective in those first euphoric rushes of finding a new crush.

It’s time we look beyond the first thing that drew us in to a guy and think toward the future to see if this guy is more than that. We don’t need to pull out our marriage-material glasses and over-analyze each man, but instead, just keep in mind that a relationship needs to be more than the initial spark that pulled you in in the first place. A guy with substance, who you felt an initial pull towards, but found other things to love about him as well, makes him a flower amongst weeds.

Got it? Feel empowered? Good. Now get the first 42 rules of the Single Girl Society