In Defense of Slutty Halloween Costumes

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In the wise words of Cady Heron, “In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” Amen. Now bring on the lingerie, fish nets, and bunny ears.

Stop rolling your eyes and shaking your head in disapproval. It’s one night…ONE NIGHT ( and by one, I mean Thursday, Friday, Saturday and whichever day is actually Halloween) You’re allowed to be a little risqué sometimes.

Okay, okay. Walking around in bras and panties with wings on your back saying you’re a “Victoria Secrets Model” goes a bit beyond being risqué. It’s more like…TOTALLY AWESOME. It’s Halloween people! You are not supposed to be yourself. You are supposed to be something you can never be on any other day of the year. If that means being a french maid or a Playboy Bunny then hey! go for it. Think of it this way: dress up as your childhood dream but with a twist…a slutty twist.

There is nothing wrong with a girl wanting to express her sexuality by an outfit for ONE–THREE nights out of the year. In fact, it is encouraged. Everyone has a wild side. Let it come out to play. You can always blame it on Halloween worse comes to worse. Anyway, you can’t make a true critique unless you yourself have tried it once. Therefore, let’s have a little experiment. This Halloween YOU’RE going to step out of your comfort zone and into girl world. Don’t worry. I’ll help you through it.

There are plenty of unoriginal slutty costumes that will ease you into the transition of classy to trashy. These costumes are provocative, but not too eye catching: cop, nurse, firefighter, pirate, referee, school girl, nerd or sports player. The first 5 can be bought in any costume store. The other three can easily be put together.

Clothing for School Girl: (think Brittany Spears in ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’)

  1. Short, plaid skirt or any short pleated skirt or really any short skirt.
  2. White button down shirt but worn tied exposing your midriff.
  3. Knee high socks, preferably white.
  4. Black high heels (obviously).
  5. Hair in pigtails.
  6. Innocent, doe-eyed face behind the fake eyelashes and glossy lips.
  7. If possible, a tie or a vest are cute accessorizes, but not necessary.

Clothing for Nerd:

  1. High-waisted shorts (tan, black or any color really) with suspenders.
  2. White belly shirt (the shirt ends underneath your cleavage.. or if you’re like me, lack there of cleavage) with sleeves if possible (looks better with suspenders).
  3. Knee high socks, preferably white again.
  4. Black high heels (shouldn’t even have to say that).
  5. Nerd glasses heavily taped in the middle.

Clothing for Sports Player: (football, baseball, basketball, lacrosse.. any sport)

  1. Black booty shorts
  2. Jersey of whichever sport you choose
  3. Knee high socks matching color of jersey
  4. Never thought these words would come out of my mouth…sneakers..

There ya go ladies. Still not for it? Fine. You can always dress up like a zombie “ex-wife” since it really worked out well for Cady…

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