He Said/She Said: Do you stand for bad sex and bad kissing?
So you’re dating someone who is super cute, nice, makes you laugh…and then wham! He sucks in the sack. …Or if you’re not quite there yet, he’s bad at kissing. So what’s a girl to do when she’s used to a certain…ahem, level of pleasure in both areas? Work with him, of course!
If there’s no investment in the guy and you’re simply hooking up with him but he’s bad at sex, it’s your call to pull a Jay-Z and say, “On to the next one,” or stick around. Trust me, there are plenty of guys with enough experience to satisfy your needs. But remember, choose wisely and know the dude’s sexual history. Good sex is great, but good sex plus an STD? Not so much. However, if you actually like the guy and he’s more than a 2 a.m. drunken roll-around in the sheets, stick around and see what you can do!
Let’s start with kissing. I’ve dated a terrible kisser before! I’m talkin’ lips protruding as if I was Marge and he was Homer Simpson. Yep, pretty bad. However, his personality was amazing! We had that witty text banter down, he made me laugh all the time and I thought he was the greatest guy I’d ever been with. But as our relationship continued, I knew that whole kissing thing had to be worked out. Rather than say anything to him (guys can be pretty sensitive about that stuff), I just started kissing him how I wanted it. Maybe he was used to kissing his ex-girlfriend that way, but over time he adapted to my way of kissing and things just went along from there.
If your guy is a slobber mouth, though, that’s a different story! I am pretty bold when I’m kissing a guy if there’s too much spit involved. I will literally take my hand and wipe the dudes mouth and then my own. Sometimes that’s all it takes! I guarantee he doesn’t like to be swimming in a spit-bath either, so do something like that from time to time and he’ll take the hint.
As for a guy that’s bad at sex, this may take a little more work. The one thing girls should know is that it’s always okay to tell him exactly what you want. In fact, guys dig that! Most guys want to please you as much as you want to please them, so get over being shy and get straight to whispering in his ear what you want next.
If it’s the mood that’s making sex awkward, try turning on some music! You can make the mood sexy and passionate with some Kings of Leon or have a silly sex sesh while cranking up You Make My Dreams Come True by Hall & Oates. (I guarantee you’ll both be laughing). The bottom line is that sex is better when you’re comfortable, so do whatever it takes to get you there.
If all else fails and you’ve got it bad for the guy, you can always talk to him about it, but be careful how you word it. Guys (especially typical college guys) have killer egos and might take your suggestion as an insult and run the other direction. But if your man truly respects and cares for you, he’ll want things to be the best they can and work with you to make either kissing or sex better.
Wanna see how he deals with sloppy kissers and less-than-ideal lays? Hop on over to COED Mag!