Halloween: It’s always been October 31, always been the orange shaded region of the calendar, but for some reason this year, it has gone unnoticed. Maybe you blame your blinding lust for Pumpkin Spiced Lattes, your desperate need to study for midterms, or your manic desire to watch every college football game, but Halloween is here and it’s time to get a costume. The good news is, I’m sure Halloween USA still has a slutty nurse or a slutty pirate hanging on the rack – carbon copies of every other college girl’s costume – so go out and get one of these before it’s too late!
I’m kidding. Please don’t do that.
This year, get creative, get inspired and get attention with some of these last-minute costumes ideas – guaranteed to make Halloween a night you won’t forget (again.)
Sexy (err, or Slutty) Costumes:
Girl’s Gone Wild Censored Girl. If you’ve got a rocking body and don’t mind showing it off, put on a pair of jeans and a nude strapless bra. Attach a piece of thick, black cardboard to the bra and with white paint, write, “CENSORED” on the cardboard. You’ll be the hottest girl at the party and your parents will be so proud.
Walk of Shame. If you live anywhere near a frat house, you know what this girl looks like. With one broken heel, smudged make-up, and wild sex hair, this girl has definitely had a good night. Add a boyfriend’s (wrongly-buttoned) t-shirt and a pair of boy-cut panties to really make this look authentic.
(Note: Add some fake blood and this outfit can quickly become a Horror Movie Victim costume!)
Victoria’s Secret Angel. Got a bra? Got matching panties? You got a Halloween costume! Just add some wings, a pair of super high stilettos, maybe some extensions and BOOM! You are instantly one of the most envied women in the world. Bitch.
Cupid. Wear a white or red mini and decorate it with hearts. For your arrow, pick up a tiny cardboard tube, wrap it with pink paper, and add a heart on one end. Then, head over to the local sex clinic and get a bunch of free condoms. Pass these out all night and you’ll quickly become everyone’s favorite pixie at the party.
Coppertone Girl. Wear a bikini and attach a stuffed dog to the bottoms. You can get a fake butt at a lot of Halloween stores and spray paint it so it’s pale. Or if you got the audacity, you can use your own – just don’t forget the pigtails.
(Note: Lots of other great ideas can come from ordinary products, brands, and characters so look around!)
Funny – Clever – Easy Costumes:
Party in my Pants. Unzip your pants and put on some fancy panties – the more ridiculous the better. Then attach some balloons (ideally water balloon size) and some ribbons to the seams to give off the impression that there really is a party in your pants! Then party on!
Roadkill. Roll a tire in some black paint and then across a white t-shirt. Add some dirt to your face and ta da! You have a clever and super easy costume!
Facebook Page. Use a piece of cardboard to create a profile page. Cut a hole out where your face should go and then fill out all of the relevant information with a set of colorful sharpies. Make sure to include your interests, phone number, favorite drink, etc. just in case anyone is curious.
Dog Bite Victim. Pick up a stuffed dog at a local toy store – the more ferocious the better. Cut a hole into the dog’s mouth so that it can wrap around your leg. Then with safety pins attach the dog’s mouth to your jeans and walk with a limp for the rest of the night.
God’s Gift to Men. Get a role of some festive wrapping paper and wrap yourself up like a present. Put a beautiful bow in your hair and a holiday tag that says, “To: Men, From: God.” Make sure that all of the men at the party are thankful for your presence.
Cat Fight. Get a bunch of your girlfriends to dress up as cats. This can be as easy as dressing completely in black, buying fuzzy ears, and drawing on a nose and some whiskers. Then add some scratches to your faces, shoulders, and chests. For the rest of the night, guys will be waiting for the catfight to continue.
Brunette Bottles. Get a couple yards of white felt from the fabric store. Find a font that looks similar to the Brunette’s logo and have each one of your friends trace it on in a different color. Then wrap the fabric around like a dress. Make little felt hats and get matching shoes for each flavor.
Evolution of Britney Spears. Have each one of your friends dress up a different era of Britney with one friend being the innocent school girl, another being the snake charmer, etc. Then have your bravest friend be psycho Brittney complete with a shaved head – you may need to buy her a shot or two first.
(Note: Get creative with this idea –there are a lot of other celebrities that are easy to mock!)
Clue Cast. Remember all of your favorite characters from Clue? Have each one of your friends dress in a single color and go as Miss. Scarlet, Cornell Mustard, Professor Plum, and the rest of the gang. Once you get the colors assigned, the rest of the characteristics should come easily.
Rehab Group. Get a bunch of matching t-shirts made that say, “REHAB.” Then have each of your friends go as a famous celebrity that has gone to rehab. One can go as Paris Hilton, another as Lindsey Lohan, and another as Charlie Sheen. Make sure to stay in character all night and try to avoid drinking to excess.
With a little creativity, anything can become a kick-ass last-minute costume. So don’t fret that the time for Halloween is upon us – enjoy the night so much that you’ll never forget October 31st again!
Have some more creative last-minute costumes? Let us know your ideas!