I Can’t Keep Up With All The Kardashians

By Caitlin Corsetti

As if we haven’t wasted enough time watching the Kardashians, Kendall Jenner has been greenlit for her own Sweet Sixteen special on E!. This is not a drill. I don’t know about you, but I thought Kendall was older than that given the fact that she has a lot oversexed photo shoots. I imagine this is the work of Kim or momager, Kris. I foresee a lot of drama as Kim tries to take over Kendall’s birthday party and try to relive her years just like she did with Kendall’s modeling.

Poor Bruce will be sitting idly with his diamond studs as his baby girl contemplates “whether or not she should get a belly ring or a tattoo.” Granted, I got a belly ring when I turned thirteen and my first tattoo at sixteen, but neither was aired on national television. Kendall will reportedly also shop for a car, probably something way too expensive for a sixteen-year-old. They’re trying to get Kanye West or Nicki Minaj to perform as well. Well color me jealous, my sweet sixteen consisted of dinner at The Melting Pot, a sleepover with my close girlfriends, and a trip to Six Flags.

I have to wonder at what point the Kardashians will take over E! or leave and create their own network like Oprah. It’ll be the Kardashian Khannel! All Kardashians all the time. That’s basically what E! is now anyway. And you know what this means. Kylie is going to have a special when she turns sixteen, too. Thank heavens there aren’t anymore kids. Oh wait, baby Mason! He’s obviously going to have some perks eventually. It’s never going to stop. Prepare yourselves.