God bless smartphones and Facebook. Where would our stalking abilities be today without those two? When our friends want to set us up with their hot friend, what’s the first question we ask? First and last name please! First impressions are no longer made in person, they happen through the Internet. Sad? Eh, maybe. But hey, much easier to weed ‘em out that way! If there’s zero potential for attraction or if the guy has “strip clubs” topping his list of interests, all I’m saying is that checking out his profile may save you from one miserable first date.
It’s obvious that technology makes the courting process easier, too. Being newly single for the past month, I’ve realized that every guy who has asked me out so far starts with Facebook. They send a message, we chat for a bit, they ask for my number, the messaging moves to texts and then finally we meet face-to-face. It may be a little depressing that a good ‘ol fashion, “Hi, would you like to go on a date with me?” is now considered creepy rather than endearing, but at least we’ve got some form of courting taking place these days!
But once you’re actually in a relationship, does technology make waves for the pair? I’ve known couples where neither have a Facebook so that the other doesn’t have to wonder if someone’s exchanging secret messages with a mysterious third. But even if there’s no social networking involved, smartphones have optional pass-codes where the phone owner must enter a password in order to unlock the phone. So unless neither have iPhones or social networking accounts, I’m going to put it out there that technology can make cheating easier.
Sure, it’s easy to creep on the girl who posted on your boyfriend’s wall, but unless he shares his login information with you, you’ll never know if messages have been swapped. The same goes for phones. If you aren’t given his pass-code, chances are he might be texting someone else. The same goes for girls with pass-codes and login information, too. There’s a simple solution to both scenarios, though; allow each other to know both sets of information or trust that both are faithful and leave it at that. The downside to the former is that one person might be inclined to check more often than the other and that can worsen trust in the relationship. Then again, if one partner doesn’t want to exchange user information, the other is going to question their trust regardless.
Another reason technology can make cheating easier is by throwing a public label out there. I’ve known guys in the past who had girlfriends but wouldn’t go “FBO” (Facebook official) because they wanted other girls to think they were single. Yep, red flag! Yes, the guy is a douchelord, but the girl obviously isn’t the brightest if she’s not questioning his motive behind that one. I know not all couples broadcast their relationships, but in today’s world where social media has become the norm, it’s definitely safe to wonder why a significant other won’t.
As with phones, the last guy I dated had a codename for his ex-girlfriend. He let me know the pass-code to his phone but probably thought I wouldn’t figure the name thing out. Wrong! He told me he had stopped talking to her, but I had a feeling he wasn’t quite telling me the truth. Should I have been snooping through his phone in the first place? The best answer I can give is no, but since there was a lot of reasonable doubt in my mind, it was justified. In my situation, what I found definitely helped me break away from him. But the bottom line is that if you trust your boyfriend or girlfriend, there’s no reason to go through their stuff, it’s as simple as that.
The tricky thing about technology is that “delete” is always an option. So whether or not cheating is taking place, it’s possible that the evidence can disappear within seconds of the exchange. My only advice is to go with your gut instinct. If you feel like he’s a cheating bastard, chances are he just might be! Or if you feel like she’s seeing another dude, it’s a definite possibility! It’s always good to be aware, but if you’ve been given no reason to question their technology devices (and trust), don’t go there, it’s more trouble than it’s worth.
Wanna see what He Says about cheating and technology? Head on over to COED!