Sexy Time: Surfing the Crimson Wave

So, I had my period last week, which meant my ladybusiness was closed for normal sexual operations until further notice. I feel completely and utterly unsexy when my uterine lining is shedding and I have stuff a wad of dried, bleached cotton up there to keep it under control. Not only that, but I have this ongoing sense of anxiety, dread and leftover irritability from PMSing. Essentially, I am not in my finest form.

That said, it doesn’t stop me from thinking about period sex in theory. I know that if I threw down a red towel, handed my boyfriend a condom, and said “proceed carefully,” he would totally be game (in fact, when we were first dating and I was completely insatiable, we did it a few times). I know plenty of women who say that they find themselves even more horny on their period than at any other time of the month. And yet, period sex is still something that seems kind of taboo. I’m sure part of it stems from our (as ladies) discomfort and overall icky feeling. But I also feel like a lot of it is because dudes, in general, are completely repulsed.

Considering that menstruation is a normal bodily occurrence that affects over half of the population, you’d think the stigma and weirdness surrounding periods would be a lot less omnipresent. But our society still treats it like it’s  really gross and shameful. I have friends whose moms refused to have conversations about periods with them. It wasn’t until this year that an ad for sanitary napkins actually featured “blood.” Religions all around the world have questionable perceptions of menstruation.  It’s no wonder that many of us, as females, become pretty icked  out by our own bodies from anywhere from 15-25% of each month. So naturally, guys aren’t exactly going to be super enlightened and progressive about periods either. My boyfriend didn’t know what a tampon looked like before he met me, and was utterly fascinated. Guys balk at the idea of buying tampons or pads for their girlfriends (like the cashier is going to think they’re the ones bleeding…) But, really, periods are such a non-entity in the grand scheme of things. They may be bloody and inconvenient, but they’re natural,  healthy, not embarrassing and a confirmation that you’re not knocked up.

When even AskMen is publishing articles on engaging in period sex, perhaps it’s time to be a little less skeeved out about the idea of sexy time during shark week. If period sex truly is unappealing to you, of course you shouldn’t engage in it. But if it’s something that you would be into, don’t be afraid to bring it up to your partner. A good partner, even if they’re not into the idea, is not going to make you feel disgusting or unreasonable for wanting it. There’s no reason to forgo sex every time you bleed (especially since the average woman spends 3500 days menstruating).



    1. Alonna says:

      I personally wouldn't engage in period sex. The mess would be too much for me. It doesn't hurt to give your vagina a week to rest.

      1. Alonna says:

        Plus it's not very pleasant smelling.

    2. Violet says:

      I think it really depends on how heavy your flow is. If it's really heavy, then no…it will be a mess. Otherwise, eh, no big deal.

    3. Try Softcup if you really want period sex… It is different than a Diva cup in that it doesn't sit in your vagina, it forms a seal around your cervix… and it just a ring with a thin plastic liner. It's quite comfortable, and barely leaks….

    4. cafechick says:

      My boyfriend really doesn't care. He just likes sexytime. You can throw down a towel, and even if it does get messy, half the fun is jumping in the shower afterward. It also definitely eases my normally horrible cramps.

    5. Jenna says:

      Even thinking about sex during my period makes the cramps worse.

    6. ABM says:

      I was scared about period sex at first but I like it. My periods have gotten lighter since being on BC so I don't bleed too much. Plus I find that if I take my tampon out right before there is really hardly any blood. And as gross as it sounds the blood adds more lubrication and does help to ease cramps.

      1. Spdk says:

        Correct doctor. Only a small amount of blood is shed over the course of several days (probably a quarter of a liter at most.) The amount expelled during a given hour is minuscule. If a tampon is taken out right before, a blood bath will not immediately ensue.

    7. monalisamt says:

      I love period sex for two reasons only: increased sex drive and a serious excuse for shower sex. I am painfully shy about my period when I'm around my boyfriend but we're in a long distance relationship and when I flew out there for our anniversary only to discover I was still bleeding, I realized that if I want sex and he wants sex, something like blood shouldn't stop it. Besides, spray a little Shout on the towel, and it's like it never happened.

    8. Maura - Rider University says:

      I just feel really gross when I'm on my period, and I know my bf would be freaked out if he got blood on him (not that this would stop us). I'd rather wait.

      On that note, my darling boyfriend was kind enough to buy me tampons at my moment of need, and I am forever grateful. That's definitely a quality of a keeper.

    9. […] Sexy Time: Surfing the Crimson Wave […]

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