News broke today that Kate Middleton is pregnant. CollegeCandy is pleased to announce that Kate Middleton’s OB-GYN spoke with us exclusively regarding the pregnancy. Dr. Louisa Frautschnaut said Kate is expecting to give birth in mid-June. Will is apparently “over the moon,” already enlisting the help of a hand-selected staff of personal shoppers at Harrods to help decorate the nursery.
Perhaps in the most exciting turn of events, the happy couple will welcome both a boy and a girl. That’s right, twins! Dr. Frautschnaut told us, “We were doing a routine PAP smear and realized — oh no! — there was no PAP to be schmeared!! We immeeeediately did ze sonogram and — ahhh!! — such a shock! Twins in ze womb!”
Upon hearing the news, CollegeCandy investigative reporter, Jordan Hines*, almost fell off his/her chair. Naturally Hines pressed for the names of the twins, but Dr. Frautschnaut would not budge. “Let’s just say they’re considering things that rhyme with ‘Smarry’ and ‘Smermione’.”
Such good news, indeed!! Congrats to Kate and William!
*Wishes to remain genderless.
[PS — This was entirely self-created. There is no Dr. Louisa Frautschnaut…unfortunately]