17 Reasons Why Suri Cruise is Better Than You

November 21, 2011 9:00 pm     Posted in Celebrity, Entertainment, Headliners, TMZ RSS  Jessica Zaleski g+ page

Remember being envious of the cool girl in school who wore the latest trends and had the coolest parents? Suri Cruise is that girl, and she’s only five years old. While you’re shopping at Forever 21 trying to find a dress to wear to your friend’s party, Suri has already picked out her clothes for the next month (and they cost way more than everything at all Forever 21 stores combined).

Here are 17 reasons why Suri Cruise (a five year old!) is way better than you…

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  • 90 Comments on "17 Reasons Why Suri Cruise is Better Than You"
    1. Misa says:
      Mon, 21st Nov 20119:42 pm 

      I hate these "better than you" posts. Really! We get it! It was funny the first time, but now it is becoming bothersome. I'm not even sure if you're joking or being serious. You need a serious self esteem check.

    2. Ally says:
      Mon, 21st Nov 201110:58 pm 

      This made me laugh. And Suri is adorable!

    3. anna says:
      Mon, 21st Nov 201111:43 pm 

      Don't you think i's enough of those "better than you" articles? It's getting tiresome. Why not write articles promoting self respect, not detracting away from it?

    4. LP says:
      Tue, 22nd Nov 20111:41 am 

      Are some people seriously being uptight about this post? Suri is adorable and this just made me laugh!

    5. Nicole says:
      Tue, 22nd Nov 20111:48 am 

      And when she gets older and gets publicly criticized for everything she does, we'll see who's "better" than who. She's a cute kid, but she's definitely not better than me, or anyone for that matter. That's exactly what's wrong with society. Seems like no one can accept someone for who they are without saying something negative. This article is the reason why so many girls our age have self-esteem issues.

    6. Ariana Romero says:
      Tue, 22nd Nov 20111:56 am 

      Saying a five-year-old is Better Than You is funny and tongue in cheek! And I totally appreciate her amazing choices in lipstick, hair cuts and gummies.

    7. anna says:
      Tue, 22nd Nov 20115:01 am 

      Has anyone seen surisburnbook.tumblr.com? It's probably my favourite website.

    8. LeeAnn says:
      Tue, 22nd Nov 20119:34 am 

      Are you for real with this comment? This snarky post is the reason girls have self-esteem issues? Not magazine covers and photoshop? Okay, sure.

    9. editor says:
      Tue, 22nd Nov 20119:34 am 

      The only blog that I like more than CollegeCandy!

    10. Laura says:
      Tue, 22nd Nov 20119:55 am 

      People need to chill out!
      Suri is not the reason you ladies have self-esteem issues. This was a funny little post that I'm sure was not meant to destroy your fragile confidence.

    11. leah says:
      Tue, 22nd Nov 201111:48 am 

      I think you people are taking a post a bit too seriously. It's a funny post.

      Also, Suri is the most adorable child.

    12. Nicole B says:
      Tue, 22nd Nov 201110:29 pm 

      This is hilarious! Obviously some people need to understand what a satire is! If you really think that anyone seriously believes that Suri is better than you because she is carried by her mom…you need to check yo self.

    13. caate says:
      Wed, 23rd Nov 20111:21 am 

      This was mildly entertaining and all but this is just another celebrity kid that's going to eff up and I'm already annoyed hearing about her all the time.

    14. Meg- University of Delaware says:
      Wed, 23rd Nov 201110:39 am 

      Me too, me too!

    15. Jessica Goodenough says:
      Wed, 23rd Nov 201110:52 am 

      Lipstick on a 5 year old? Heels? The Cruises have reached new levels of crazy.

    16. Donna says:
      Thu, 24th Nov 201112:21 am 

      Damn. She really IS better than me! Lol!!

    17. Fashionista says:
      Mon, 28th Nov 20117:23 am 

      I am wearing earrings from Claire's as I read this! LOL Suri is adorable

    18. Jane says:
      Mon, 28th Nov 201111:13 am 

      Yup, she's beautiful, gets carried around so wat? Did she make wat like million dollars? Actually we would b proud if a 5-year old walks. Well, I can c it's da other way around here. But yeah, she's cute and might be a BFF of mickey mouse and wateva……

    19. Maura - Rider University says:
      Tue, 6th Dec 201112:47 am 

      Suri really is a gorgeous child, I can only imagine what a heart breaker she'll be when she's older.

      Now I don't know how I feel about the heels and lipstick….rushing girls into the stereotypcial ideas of beauty too fast isn't good. As long as she can stay ignorant about what society expects a perfect female to look like, the better. And honestly she needs to know she is simply stunning without make up, I doubt the girl will ever need a sitch of it.

      As for the heels….well I wish I was trained earlier! I'm 19 and I still can't walk in heels. Ugh.

    20. tichelle says:
      Tue, 6th Dec 20112:23 pm 

      Ok, so am I the only person who think it's crazy that she is eating gummies in the shape of a penis. What happened to good ol' fashioned gummy bears? So thankful I don't have a daughter.

    21. Angèle says:
      Tue, 6th Dec 20118:35 pm 

      My parents aren't crazies who hate each other.
      BAM!!! I win!

    22. MrsOgg says:
      Thu, 15th Dec 201111:05 pm 

      Thanks for making me laugh…I'm not sure why ppl are taking this so serious but, it's cute and made me giggle. Thanks!

    23. sasja says:
      Mon, 19th Dec 20119:57 am 

      Your're so right , nobody finds that a odd thing too eat for a 5 year old?.Do they have too explain to suri the shape of the gummies ?… oh lord spare me .

    24. roberto says:
      Tue, 10th Jan 201212:04 pm 

      Mother is a w…, daughter will be a w…….,father is a pimp, daughter will be a w…..

    25. thejokerlovesyou says:
      Tue, 31st Jan 20123:51 pm 

      If people didn't take themselves so seriously, we wouldn't satire, Is she flipping someone?

    26. Kari says:
      Fri, 24th Feb 20123:21 pm 

      I am wearing leggings as pants as I'm reading this….. she IS better than me…..LOL!!!!

    27. Honor says:
      Sun, 11th Mar 201212:04 pm 

      Who ever cam rgb up with this better then you artile…so us all a favor stop kissing up their asses…nobody likes a suckup! Go do something with your fatself you turd!

    28. San says:
      Mon, 19th Mar 201211:10 pm 

      Let her enjoy her life with her mom as much as she can. Enjoy every experience. It makes them both happy,will make great memories,and by the time Suri is a teenager she won't want to spend so much time with her Mom and those precious fun memories will be hard to obtain!!!!!

    29. C A H says:
      Fri, 30th Mar 201212:56 am 

      The little girl is very unfortunate in the fact that Tom and Katie are her parents. In this pic she is obviously flipping someone off, and the comment about she is eating gummie PENIS’!! OMG! I guess that followers of Scientology don’t think it is important to teach their children morals and give them guidance in the proper way to act in public. What a shame!!

    30. SHILOH says:
      Sun, 1st Apr 20127:24 pm 

      hahaaha true!!

    31. Fiona says:
      Thu, 5th Apr 20125:23 pm 

      What's wrong with eating penis gummies? Might as well learn to put one in your mouth sooner or later! I just hope she doesn't turn out like the brainless Paris Hilton. I do think high heels on a 5 yr old is stupid though. Besides this post was meant to be funny for those who are horrified by red lipstick and gummy penises. jeez

    32. seymore says:
      Fri, 13th Apr 20122:13 am 

      I don't have a crystal ball but I see BIG trouble in their future…Honestly, Suri will be horrified someday or… not? Which is…HORRIFYING! or maybe WHORE-IFYING…

    33. Jenn says:
      Fri, 13th Apr 20122:38 am 

      Who is Suri?

    34. somebunny says:
      Sat, 14th Apr 20123:52 pm 

      Suri Cruise. eww, her mom, eww, her dad, eww eww eww

    35. Lucy says:
      Tue, 17th Apr 20126:30 pm 

      The writer of this article has a really creepy obsession with Suri Cruise.

    36. sophia says:
      Fri, 27th Apr 20129:51 pm 

      she is a child for God sake, a beautiful little girl who is loved and spoiled. By the way, you are just a fat miserable lonely woman

    37. Kimo Keola says:
      Wed, 2nd May 20122:54 pm 

      " NOBODY CARES " about these peoples' lives. Worry about the real world, and stop trying to live in theirs. Just because they've got money doesn't make them better, it makes them " OBNOXIOUS "

    38. edie says:
      Wed, 2nd May 20123:20 pm 

      I can't believe I even read this article

    39. Chantal says:
      Fri, 18th May 20124:59 pm 

      The only ones Suri is better than is her idiot, freaks for parents. Has Cruise completely forgotten his two other kids? Or are they considered “Supressive” ? Two nut jobs who should have never been allowed to pro-create. I truly feel sorry for Suri and the forgotten adopted “Supressive” children exposed to these two scientology freakazoids!

    40. Celia says:
      Sat, 26th May 20129:11 pm 

      dafuq?

    41. bobbie says:
      Mon, 11th Jun 20126:10 pm 

      You are adorable Suri, I love your pics. Stay sweet.

    42. diarrhea says:
      Mon, 11th Jun 20128:03 pm 

      diarrhea

    43. Justme says:
      Mon, 11th Jun 20128:21 pm 

      Suri knows exactly what she is doing in the picture with her fingers the way they are…she may be 5 but the
      girl already knows. This is one child that will be interesting to observe as she grows older. 50-50 chance that it will go either way. I wish her blessings and a level head :D

    44. guest says:
      Fri, 15th Jun 20128:53 am 

      You know, at first I thought maybe i was just seeing things but she does look like she is shooting a bird. Wow.

    45. Jen Blanchard Gonzales says:
      Mon, 18th Jun 20121:01 pm 

      High heels and lipstick? Binkies? Carried everywhere? Not her fault, blame over-indulgent mommy and daddy. Very sad.

    46. Celeste says:
      Thu, 21st Jun 20122:21 pm 

      She didn't eat the Penis gummies. She had grabbed them when Katie wasn't looking thinking they were for kids, since they were on sale in a kids shop. And don't hate on Suri, hate her parents. It's their fault that she is ending up like this. But if that's how they want to raise her, let them do it.

    47. Maria says:
      Sat, 23rd Jun 201212:35 pm 

      I've never seen this photo before and it's when she was younger. But she clearly knows what she's doing. There is something creepily 'vacant' about this kids eyes. In all her pictures her eyes never look happy – they just LOOK through you. Suri Cruise is likely to become a very strange adult and yes I agree with all the other comments that say her parents indulge her. You can see it. Even if Katie wanted to stop the insanity earlier on, she's now Tom's property and with that the Scientology's too.

    48. tina says:
      Sat, 30th Jun 201210:34 am 

      this was by far the dumbest piece of crap I have ever read. The kid is who her parents made her to be. I still believe that Katie and Tom are both great actors and what they do in their personal life is their business. People are always concerning themselves with the lives of actors good or bad simply because they have no life of their own, who the hell cares their getting a divorce. People get divorced everyday.

    49. qt213 says:
      Mon, 2nd Jul 20128:09 pm 

      pathethic article, waste of time, don't bother to get pass slide one. is this suppose to be writing skills? what a joke. loser article if I've ever seen one.

    50. qt213 says:
      Mon, 2nd Jul 20128:12 pm 

      additonally, you speak for YOURSELF only. is not snarky nor funny. just views of a loser.

    51. HEIDI6577 says:
      Thu, 5th Jul 20127:37 pm 

      I COULDN'T AGREE MORE!! SURI SEEMS TO BE A SPOILED LITTLE BRAT WHO HAS TO ALWAYS GET HER WAY, AND DOES!! SHE HAS NEVER HAD A REGULAR CHILDHOOD AND THAT IS SO SAD!! HJER MOM AND DAD SEEM TO CARE MORE ABOUT THEMSELVES AND THEIR CAREERS TO NOTICE THEIR CHILD IS LACKING IN THEIR REAL ATTENTION!! AND SOMEBODY PLEASE GET RID OF THAT FREAKING PACIFIER!!!!!

    52. debbie says:
      Fri, 6th Jul 20129:19 am 

      yes tina you are so right!!

    53. Marlo says:
      Mon, 9th Jul 20125:22 pm 

      Maybe it's the Paparazzi who are over-indulgent. Most Mom's want to compensate for their children's emotional needs when they are in the midst of divorce.

    54. Samantha Grey says:
      Fri, 13th Jul 201210:28 am 

      Great Actors????? Really??? They are both not only awfu
      Predictable actors, the are even worse parents. Based on this neither should have custody of this poor girl. Pathetic

    55. don sims says:
      Fri, 13th Jul 201212:17 pm 

      Just the beginning of a long drawn out affair. We'll be seeing her stunts for the next 30 years.

    56. Skylaredge01 says:
      Sun, 22nd Jul 20122:10 pm 

      WoW how bitter is this writer? Insult insult insult….wtf kinda article or website is this POS?

    57. yeahhh says:
      Tue, 24th Jul 201212:52 pm 

      Of course, she's an ARIES lol

      how did I not see that? lmao

    58. yeahhh says:
      Tue, 24th Jul 201212:53 pm 

      never met a normal ARIES person

    59. Mary Ann says:
      Sat, 28th Jul 20128:16 pm 

      ikaw na! :)

    60. Bella says:
      Sun, 29th Jul 20121:46 am 

      When will socie

    61. Bella says:
      Sun, 29th Jul 20122:05 am 

      When will society wake up and realize some info is unecessary baggage. Don’t get me wrong Suri is a beautiful little girl. But she don’t need recognition for being a Cruise child that wear expensive clothes; while living on her mothers hip. I mean there’s billions of kids on earth that should be recognized for their struggles. But yet all the media speak is the rich & famous children. I mean damn she’s 5 she don’t even care about these blogs. And all pple can say is aww she’s cute leave her alone. No Suri is a child and bottom line is there’s a place for children and the internet is not one. So before u judge pple comments understand that a child shouldn’t be the topic of Adult Conversations especially total fucking strangers.

    62. eduardo says:
      Sun, 29th Jul 20128:29 pm 

      all the comments are so darn cute and whoever wrote forgot # 18………….shes the daughter of catie holmes and bad ass tom cruise. two of the most cool and good looking people in the universe.

    63. eduardo says:
      Sun, 29th Jul 20128:31 pm 

      she looks cute even giving you the finger lol.

    64. Guest says:
      Sun, 12th Aug 20123:15 am 

      Someone out there should care that its not ok for a child six and younger to shoot the bird. Its not the first time she has been photographed doing so. Her mother can see her but does nothing. Its crude, gross and very low class. Someone taught her how to do that, did they also tell her what it means? Very pathetic! Dont think that will go over very well in her new school.

    65. Guest says:
      Tue, 14th Aug 20122:22 pm 

      The real culprit here is the mother who allows her child to make vulgar and obscene gestures in front of her and does nothing about it but allows a photo to be taken. I guess she thinks its funny, but its not, and she is allowing her child to be ridiculed. Someone had to teach her that gesture so i guess that is their moral standard. Poor child. And just recently another photo surfaced showing her doing the same gesture at six years old. Its never
      only one persons fault in a family disenegrating so this shows another side.

    66. silver9391 says:
      Wed, 22nd Aug 20124:20 pm 

      Perhaps Suri Cruise is Better than the author of this article. But she is not in any way better than me, nor is her mama or her simple minded daddy.

    67. wtf says:
      Fri, 24th Aug 201210:02 pm 

      I'm sorry your boss made you write this terrible fluff piece.

    68. chloe says:
      Sun, 26th Aug 20124:04 am 

      I think Suri needs a trustee for her money. Suri is too young to be running the shots. Children need a routine and they need parents. Katie uses Suri as her gal pal. Already she's spending Suri's money on herself. Someone else needs to be in charge and make hard decisions about her life. I also feel Katie uses Suri to get publicity.

    69. Stan says:
      Thu, 30th Aug 20127:58 am 

      1. Tom Cruise is not my dad. I win.

    70. Dawn says:
      Sun, 9th Sep 20122:16 am 

      You know for a FACT how Katie spends money, any money??

    71. @tutsmom101 says:
      Mon, 10th Sep 201212:11 pm 

      and you Chloe are a moron..Suri does not have any money yet..Her mother has child support and has a job and has her own money, which she can spend any way she sees fit..Now if Miss Suri was black or hispanic you all would not say crap..Now I agree flipping the bird is not something a child her age should do.

    72. HUGO says:
      Thu, 20th Sep 20121:13 pm 

      Does anybody else notice shes giving the camera people the “I’m #1″ SIGN?

    73. Annie says:
      Sun, 23rd Sep 20126:48 pm 

      You've got to be kidding; just because she doesn't need to worry about anything? Soon, she'll be a child of a messy divorce and cult (?). Also, the high heels on a six year old? What a precocious child she could be, robbed of that childhood innocence. This child is going to grow up 'more messed up' because of the mixed indulgences of her parents.

    74. Vera S. Pianto says:
      Tue, 25th Sep 20126:27 pm 

      Suri Cruise is not better than anyone. She is a spoiled little girl with an OVERINDULGENT set of immature and crazy parents, just like many others like her in LA LA LAND. The problem is these people have mucho dollars and think they are better than everyone.

    75. nadia says:
      Mon, 1st Oct 20121:51 pm 

      omggg lmaoooo what has this world come to first if she was perfect and better her mommy and daddy would still be together!!!!!!!!! 2nd this issoooo lamee its not even real..

    76. nickie says:
      Sun, 7th Oct 201210:18 am 

      first thing I noticed. Sorry but a child doesnt need to be that spoiled she will never know what it takes to make her own way in life her parents has already done it for her. She will never know what its like to be a child thats gone. Giving a child everything she wants and not letting her work for it is wrong that child will throw fits well into her adult life and expect everyone to kiss her butt. Being that rich isnt all its cracked up to be sure its noce but having to earn things in life and going through child hood and making mistakes or getting your heart broken is what makes you you and it makes you stronger and a better person how is this child to learn this if she has everything handed to her on a silver platter

    77. Anun says:
      Sun, 14th Oct 201212:02 pm 

      What a waste of time! She is spoiled. Wait for her to grow up then you'll know what kind of person she is. Even if you gave me a billion dollars i wouldn't wanna be her.

    78. Kaye says:
      Wed, 17th Oct 20129:44 am 

      i don't think it's a gesture….i think it's purely innocent

    79. Desiree Seifert says:
      Sat, 20th Oct 20121:10 am 

      this article is just STUPID! the kid is a brat and who cares how much her clothing cost!

    80. Desiree Seifert says:
      Sat, 20th Oct 20121:11 am 

      I'm with you on that one, This article is just MORONIC………so is the author!

    81. Katerina says:
      Sat, 23rd Feb 201310:58 am 

      This article is stupid, Suri Cruise is not better than me she is just a spolied brat, if her parents wasn't rich and famous she would not be famous and i don't care how much her clothes cost, and she dosen't make that money her self does she? NO! She dosen't.
      Let's say that is was Suri then i had lots of money then i could have lots of clotes!
      She's not better than me or anyone else!!!

    82. Caddilina says:
      Sat, 23rd Feb 201311:23 am 

      She's not better than me and Katie Holmes is spineless it's like she is Suri's slave!

    83. Caddilina says:
      Sat, 23rd Feb 20133:59 pm 

      This article is stupid, Suri Cruise is not better than me she is just a spolied brat, if her parents wasn't rich and famous she would not be famous and i don't care how much her clothes cost, and she dosen't make that money her self does she? NO! She dosen't.

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