17 Reasons Why Suri Cruise is Better Than You

Remember being envious of the cool girl in school who wore the latest trends and had the coolest parents? Suri Cruise is that girl, and she’s only five years old. While you’re shopping at Forever 21 trying to find a dress to wear to your friend’s party, Suri has already picked out her clothes for the next month (and they cost way more than everything at all Forever 21 stores combined).

Here are 17 reasons why Suri Cruise (a five year old!) is way better than you…



  1. Misa says:

    I hate these "better than you" posts. Really! We get it! It was funny the first time, but now it is becoming bothersome. I'm not even sure if you're joking or being serious. You need a serious self esteem check.

  2. Ally says:

    This made me laugh. And Suri is adorable!

  3. […] Suri Cruise Is Better Than You – College Candy […]

  4. anna says:

    Don't you think i's enough of those "better than you" articles? It's getting tiresome. Why not write articles promoting self respect, not detracting away from it?

  5. LP says:

    Are some people seriously being uptight about this post? Suri is adorable and this just made me laugh!

  6. Nicole says:

    And when she gets older and gets publicly criticized for everything she does, we'll see who's "better" than who. She's a cute kid, but she's definitely not better than me, or anyone for that matter. That's exactly what's wrong with society. Seems like no one can accept someone for who they are without saying something negative. This article is the reason why so many girls our age have self-esteem issues.

    1. LeeAnn says:

      Are you for real with this comment? This snarky post is the reason girls have self-esteem issues? Not magazine covers and photoshop? Okay, sure.

  7. Ariana Romero says:

    Saying a five-year-old is Better Than You is funny and tongue in cheek! And I totally appreciate her amazing choices in lipstick, hair cuts and gummies.

  8. anna says:

    Has anyone seen surisburnbook.tumblr.com? It's probably my favourite website.

    1. editor says:

      The only blog that I like more than CollegeCandy!

    2. Meg- University of Delaware says:

      Me too, me too!

  9. Laura says:

    People need to chill out!
    Suri is not the reason you ladies have self-esteem issues. This was a funny little post that I'm sure was not meant to destroy your fragile confidence.

  10. leah says:

    I think you people are taking a post a bit too seriously. It's a funny post.

    Also, Suri is the most adorable child.

  11. […] Remember being envious of the cool girl in school who wore the latest trends and had the coolest parents? Suri Cruise is that girl, and she’s only five years old (College Candy) […]

  12. Nicole B says:

    This is hilarious! Obviously some people need to understand what a satire is! If you really think that anyone seriously believes that Suri is better than you because she is carried by her mom…you need to check yo self.

  13. caate says:

    This was mildly entertaining and all but this is just another celebrity kid that's going to eff up and I'm already annoyed hearing about her all the time.

  14. Lipstick on a 5 year old? Heels? The Cruises have reached new levels of crazy.

    1. Jane says:

      Yup, she's beautiful, gets carried around so wat? Did she make wat like million dollars? Actually we would b proud if a 5-year old walks. Well, I can c it's da other way around here. But yeah, she's cute and might be a BFF of mickey mouse and wateva……

    2. roberto says:

      Mother is a w…, daughter will be a w…….,father is a pimp, daughter will be a w…..

  15. Donna says:

    Damn. She really IS better than me! Lol!!

  16. Fashionista says:

    I am wearing earrings from Claire's as I read this! LOL Suri is adorable

  17. […] 17 Reasons Suri Cruise is better than you. Funny, I only counted fourteen. (College Candy) […]

  18. […] Cruise is better than you (via College Candy); and if you don’t believe us, see her Burn Book (via Suri’s Burn […]

  19. Maura - Rider University says:

    Suri really is a gorgeous child, I can only imagine what a heart breaker she'll be when she's older.

    Now I don't know how I feel about the heels and lipstick….rushing girls into the stereotypcial ideas of beauty too fast isn't good. As long as she can stay ignorant about what society expects a perfect female to look like, the better. And honestly she needs to know she is simply stunning without make up, I doubt the girl will ever need a sitch of it.

    As for the heels….well I wish I was trained earlier! I'm 19 and I still can't walk in heels. Ugh.

  20. tichelle says:

    Ok, so am I the only person who think it's crazy that she is eating gummies in the shape of a penis. What happened to good ol' fashioned gummy bears? So thankful I don't have a daughter.

    1. sasja says:

      Your're so right , nobody finds that a odd thing too eat for a 5 year old?.Do they have too explain to suri the shape of the gummies ?… oh lord spare me .

  21. Angèle says:

    My parents aren't crazies who hate each other.
    BAM!!! I win!

    1. SHILOH says:

      hahaaha true!!

  22. MrsOgg says:

    Thanks for making me laugh…I'm not sure why ppl are taking this so serious but, it's cute and made me giggle. Thanks!

  23. thejokerlovesyou says:

    If people didn't take themselves so seriously, we wouldn't satire, Is she flipping someone?

  24. Kari says:

    I am wearing leggings as pants as I'm reading this….. she IS better than me…..LOL!!!!

  25. Honor says:

    Who ever cam rgb up with this better then you artile…so us all a favor stop kissing up their asses…nobody likes a suckup! Go do something with your fatself you turd!

  26. San says:

    Let her enjoy her life with her mom as much as she can. Enjoy every experience. It makes them both happy,will make great memories,and by the time Suri is a teenager she won't want to spend so much time with her Mom and those precious fun memories will be hard to obtain!!!!!

  27. C A H says:

    The little girl is very unfortunate in the fact that Tom and Katie are her parents. In this pic she is obviously flipping someone off, and the comment about she is eating gummie PENIS’!! OMG! I guess that followers of Scientology don’t think it is important to teach their children morals and give them guidance in the proper way to act in public. What a shame!!

  28. Fiona says:

    What's wrong with eating penis gummies? Might as well learn to put one in your mouth sooner or later! I just hope she doesn't turn out like the brainless Paris Hilton. I do think high heels on a 5 yr old is stupid though. Besides this post was meant to be funny for those who are horrified by red lipstick and gummy penises. jeez

  29. seymore says:

    I don't have a crystal ball but I see BIG trouble in their future…Honestly, Suri will be horrified someday or… not? Which is…HORRIFYING! or maybe WHORE-IFYING…

  30. Jenn says:

    Who is Suri?

  31. somebunny says:

    Suri Cruise. eww, her mom, eww, her dad, eww eww eww

  32. Lucy says:

    The writer of this article has a really creepy obsession with Suri Cruise.

  33. sophia says:

    she is a child for God sake, a beautiful little girl who is loved and spoiled. By the way, you are just a fat miserable lonely woman

  34. Kimo Keola says:

    " NOBODY CARES " about these peoples' lives. Worry about the real world, and stop trying to live in theirs. Just because they've got money doesn't make them better, it makes them " OBNOXIOUS "

  35. edie says:

    I can't believe I even read this article

  36. Chantal says:

    The only ones Suri is better than is her idiot, freaks for parents. Has Cruise completely forgotten his two other kids? Or are they considered “Supressive” ? Two nut jobs who should have never been allowed to pro-create. I truly feel sorry for Suri and the forgotten adopted “Supressive” children exposed to these two scientology freakazoids!

  37. Celia says:


  38. bobbie says:

    You are adorable Suri, I love your pics. Stay sweet.

  39. diarrhea says:


  40. Justme says:

    Suri knows exactly what she is doing in the picture with her fingers the way they are…she may be 5 but the
    girl already knows. This is one child that will be interesting to observe as she grows older. 50-50 chance that it will go either way. I wish her blessings and a level head :D

    1. guest says:

      You know, at first I thought maybe i was just seeing things but she does look like she is shooting a bird. Wow.

  41. High heels and lipstick? Binkies? Carried everywhere? Not her fault, blame over-indulgent mommy and daddy. Very sad.

  42. Celeste says:

    She didn't eat the Penis gummies. She had grabbed them when Katie wasn't looking thinking they were for kids, since they were on sale in a kids shop. And don't hate on Suri, hate her parents. It's their fault that she is ending up like this. But if that's how they want to raise her, let them do it.

  43. Maria says:

    I've never seen this photo before and it's when she was younger. But she clearly knows what she's doing. There is something creepily 'vacant' about this kids eyes. In all her pictures her eyes never look happy – they just LOOK through you. Suri Cruise is likely to become a very strange adult and yes I agree with all the other comments that say her parents indulge her. You can see it. Even if Katie wanted to stop the insanity earlier on, she's now Tom's property and with that the Scientology's too.

    1. HEIDI6577 says:


  44. tina says:

    this was by far the dumbest piece of crap I have ever read. The kid is who her parents made her to be. I still believe that Katie and Tom are both great actors and what they do in their personal life is their business. People are always concerning themselves with the lives of actors good or bad simply because they have no life of their own, who the hell cares their getting a divorce. People get divorced everyday.

    1. debbie says:

      yes tina you are so right!!

    2. Samantha Grey says:

      Great Actors????? Really??? They are both not only awfu
      Predictable actors, the are even worse parents. Based on this neither should have custody of this poor girl. Pathetic

  45. […] as five can be sent to the military like Sea Org. I’m guessing she can’t bring her child-heels or get carried everywhere, which is something Katie would not approve […]

  46. qt213 says:

    pathethic article, waste of time, don't bother to get pass slide one. is this suppose to be writing skills? what a joke. loser article if I've ever seen one.

  47. qt213 says:

    additonally, you speak for YOURSELF only. is not snarky nor funny. just views of a loser.

  48. Marlo says:

    Maybe it's the Paparazzi who are over-indulgent. Most Mom's want to compensate for their children's emotional needs when they are in the midst of divorce.

  49. don sims says:

    Just the beginning of a long drawn out affair. We'll be seeing her stunts for the next 30 years.

  50. Skylaredge01 says:

    WoW how bitter is this writer? Insult insult insult….wtf kinda article or website is this POS?

  51. yeahhh says:

    Of course, she's an ARIES lol

    how did I not see that? lmao

  52. yeahhh says:

    never met a normal ARIES person

  53. Bella says:

    When will socie

  54. Bella says:

    When will society wake up and realize some info is unecessary baggage. Don’t get me wrong Suri is a beautiful little girl. But she don’t need recognition for being a Cruise child that wear expensive clothes; while living on her mothers hip. I mean there’s billions of kids on earth that should be recognized for their struggles. But yet all the media speak is the rich & famous children. I mean damn she’s 5 she don’t even care about these blogs. And all pple can say is aww she’s cute leave her alone. No Suri is a child and bottom line is there’s a place for children and the internet is not one. So before u judge pple comments understand that a child shouldn’t be the topic of Adult Conversations especially total fucking strangers.

  55. eduardo says:

    all the comments are so darn cute and whoever wrote forgot # 18………….shes the daughter of catie holmes and bad ass tom cruise. two of the most cool and good looking people in the universe.

  56. eduardo says:

    she looks cute even giving you the finger lol.

  57. Guest says:

    Someone out there should care that its not ok for a child six and younger to shoot the bird. Its not the first time she has been photographed doing so. Her mother can see her but does nothing. Its crude, gross and very low class. Someone taught her how to do that, did they also tell her what it means? Very pathetic! Dont think that will go over very well in her new school.

  58. Guest says:

    The real culprit here is the mother who allows her child to make vulgar and obscene gestures in front of her and does nothing about it but allows a photo to be taken. I guess she thinks its funny, but its not, and she is allowing her child to be ridiculed. Someone had to teach her that gesture so i guess that is their moral standard. Poor child. And just recently another photo surfaced showing her doing the same gesture at six years old. Its never
    only one persons fault in a family disenegrating so this shows another side.

    1. Kaye says:

      i don't think it's a gesture….i think it's purely innocent

  59. silver9391 says:

    Perhaps Suri Cruise is Better than the author of this article. But she is not in any way better than me, nor is her mama or her simple minded daddy.

    1. I'm with you on that one, This article is just MORONIC………so is the author!

  60. wtf says:

    I'm sorry your boss made you write this terrible fluff piece.

  61. chloe says:

    I think Suri needs a trustee for her money. Suri is too young to be running the shots. Children need a routine and they need parents. Katie uses Suri as her gal pal. Already she's spending Suri's money on herself. Someone else needs to be in charge and make hard decisions about her life. I also feel Katie uses Suri to get publicity.

    1. Dawn says:

      You know for a FACT how Katie spends money, any money??

    2. @tutsmom101 says:

      and you Chloe are a moron..Suri does not have any money yet..Her mother has child support and has a job and has her own money, which she can spend any way she sees fit..Now if Miss Suri was black or hispanic you all would not say crap..Now I agree flipping the bird is not something a child her age should do.

  62. Stan says:

    1. Tom Cruise is not my dad. I win.

  63. […] post was inspired by the article 17 Reasons Suri Cruise Is Better Than You.  Funny. Share this:FacebookTwitterEmailPinterestMoreDiggRedditStumbleUponTumblrLike this:LikeBe […]

  64. HUGO says:

    Does anybody else notice shes giving the camera people the “I’m #1” SIGN?

    1. nickie says:

      first thing I noticed. Sorry but a child doesnt need to be that spoiled she will never know what it takes to make her own way in life her parents has already done it for her. She will never know what its like to be a child thats gone. Giving a child everything she wants and not letting her work for it is wrong that child will throw fits well into her adult life and expect everyone to kiss her butt. Being that rich isnt all its cracked up to be sure its noce but having to earn things in life and going through child hood and making mistakes or getting your heart broken is what makes you you and it makes you stronger and a better person how is this child to learn this if she has everything handed to her on a silver platter

  65. Annie says:

    You've got to be kidding; just because she doesn't need to worry about anything? Soon, she'll be a child of a messy divorce and cult (?). Also, the high heels on a six year old? What a precocious child she could be, robbed of that childhood innocence. This child is going to grow up 'more messed up' because of the mixed indulgences of her parents.

  66. Suri Cruise is not better than anyone. She is a spoiled little girl with an OVERINDULGENT set of immature and crazy parents, just like many others like her in LA LA LAND. The problem is these people have mucho dollars and think they are better than everyone.

    1. nadia says:

      omggg lmaoooo what has this world come to first if she was perfect and better her mommy and daddy would still be together!!!!!!!!! 2nd this issoooo lamee its not even real..

  67. Anun says:

    What a waste of time! She is spoiled. Wait for her to grow up then you'll know what kind of person she is. Even if you gave me a billion dollars i wouldn't wanna be her.

  68. this article is just STUPID! the kid is a brat and who cares how much her clothing cost!

  69. Katerina says:

    This article is stupid, Suri Cruise is not better than me she is just a spolied brat, if her parents wasn't rich and famous she would not be famous and i don't care how much her clothes cost, and she dosen't make that money her self does she? NO! She dosen't.
    Let's say that is was Suri then i had lots of money then i could have lots of clotes!
    She's not better than me or anyone else!!!

  70. Caddilina says:

    She's not better than me and Katie Holmes is spineless it's like she is Suri's slave!

  71. Caddilina says:

    This article is stupid, Suri Cruise is not better than me she is just a spolied brat, if her parents wasn't rich and famous she would not be famous and i don't care how much her clothes cost, and she dosen't make that money her self does she? NO! She dosen't.

  72. shame on the cruises!!!!

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