Is Angelina Jolie A Vampire?

By Caitlin Corsetti

We’ve always known that Angie is pretty weird. I mean you can’t take back marrying Billy Bob Thornton or making-out-with-your-brother days. Recent stories reveal that she wanted to be a funeral director when she was younger, and that isn’t your typical dream career…for a woman. But is it a good career path for a vampire? We think so. We definitely admire her for her charity work as a Goodwill Ambassador, but maybe this is a cover up for the truth. If we see her out in the daylight, she’s always covered up. Perhaps to avoid the scalding sunlight? If we’ve learned anything from Twilight it’s that vampires are very pretty, and she hasn’t seemed to age in a while. Maybe because she’s stuck at the age when she was turned! She doesn’t do anything to disparage rumors about her, but how can she if they’re true?

One of her former staff members has come out with some other weirdness that leads us to believe, without a doubt, that Angelina Jolie could be a vampire…

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