Single Girl Society: Be The Change You Wish To See In The Dating World
Lesson #49: Be The Change You Wish To See In The Dating World
So many girls go around and throw knives when they talk about how every guy is a douchebag, and no guy treats them the way they deserve to be treated, like the undercover princesses they truly believe themselves to be. But it’s usually those girls who are the first to laugh in a guy’s face, a guy who braved the social discomfort that we all know tags along with making the first move.
I’m so sick of hearing girls prattle on and on about how no guy is good enough, and yet none of them accept any guy brave enough to try his hand at being something she might actually want. There are very few things as cringe-worthy as hearing a girl rudely turn a guy down at a bar, and then turn her back around to her girlfriends and laugh haughtily while the guy is still right there. What most girls who say things like, “Ew, can you believe he even tried to talk to me?” or “I mean, I only talked to him because I knew he’d pay for my drinks,” don’t realize is that they themselves are the douchebags that they hate so much.
I get that dating is a harsh world, and that rejection is inevitable, believe me, I’m well aware of that side of dating. But what I don’t understand is that if we all are familiar with those first pangs of rejection that cut deeper than the guilt your mom lays into you every time you come home, then what’s the point in perpetuating it? Is it some sort of dating rite of passage to be turned down by a girl wearing too much makeup with unreasonable standards and a chip on her shoulder? It takes a lot to approach a complete stranger and strike up a conversation, so what benefit do these girls get in shutting a guy down and laughing in his face?
Not to say that you shouldn’t ever turn someone down, I mean by all means, if you don’t feel comfortable, or you aren’t feeling it, then it’s better to shut it down than to lead someone on. But there’s a respectful and polite way to do it. There is a way to recognize that it takes a lot for a person to make a move, and that you appreciate it, not necessarily because you wanted to talk them, but because this whole dating thing is cyclical.
Think about it—you go out every weekend and wonder why you never get hit on by the guys you’re interested in for the night, but you have no problem rudely brushing off a guy you’ve deemed unworthy. Every time some girl laughs in the face of a guy, that guy loses a shred (or more) of confidence and second guesses the next girl he thinks about striking up a conversation with, quite possibly, until he resorts to never putting himself out there ever again. And you never know, maybe the guy you’re lusting after has already reached that last resort of giving up on making the first move with girls, because he’s been shut down by one too many girls like you.
Just as you need you be ready to make the first move if you expect someone else to, just as you need to be sweet if you expect you prince charming to be too, in order for this whole dating thing to work, you need to be the change you wish to see in the dating world.
Got it? Feel empowered? Good. Now get the first 48 rules of the Single Girl Society