Reasons We’re Faking It

Let’s be honest, we’ve all faked it with a guy at one time or another.  Sometimes we’re completely turned off and not into it, and sometimes we’ve got a frozen pizza in the oven and we’re starving. Whatever the reason may be, there are times women just need to speed up the process of “getting off” by faking an orgasm so that you can get off of us.

Here’s a list of 15 reasons why women fake the big “O.”

Katie is finishing up her undergrad at North Central College in Naperville, Illinois. She enjoys wasting hours on Facebook and tweeting things no one cares about. When asked the question, “Do you do marathons?” She promptly responds, “Of course! Which show?” Follow her @KatieGarrity!

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  1. […] • Reasons why we fake orgasms. (College Candy) […]

  2. Maura - Rider University says:

    Do college girls really fake it that often? I always thought that it was only a movie thing to fake it.

    1. Katie Garrity - North Central College says:

      All of my friends and I have admitted to faking it at least once (but usually more than once). Sometimes, you gotta do whatcha gotta do, haha.

    2. Sparky says:

      Really, you had to fake an orgasm?

  3. […] • Reasons why we fake orgasms. (College Candy) […]

  4. MOSUES says:


  5. Freemanh1983 says:

    Ya, not EVERYONE fakes it. Pretty general comment. I have never faked it. Not once, Im not going to give the guy the glory if he didnt earn it, not to mention its completely dishonest. But, I have only been with guys I have been in a long relationship with so maybe that has something to do with it. If you are with a guy a longer amount of time, he can tell if your faking, so whats the point?

  6. criolle johnny says:

    The article starts with "Lets be honest" and immediately goes to "faking".
    If you don't communicate, a man cannot know what you want or need. Younger men (college men) tend to be inexperienced lovers. Most men pretend otherwise. This may surprise some of the readers.
    Some women have a difficult time verbally expressing their sexual needs. THIS may surprise a few readers.
    Faking is an extreme form of not expressing needs.
    If you do not express your needs, young inexperienced lovers have a difficult time perceiving those needs.
    Don''t vote, don't bitch. It fits.

    1. Elecktricflame says:

      Man it only took your first sentence to make me push the thumbs up button.

  7. SomeTroll says:

    I'm a sucker for good communication. If I catch a woman faking it, I am way less into her.

  8. […] Katie at College Candy shared 15 reasons why girls fake it and gave the female's point-of-view — I took a few reasons Katie gave and gave my two cents on the subject. Take a look at the real reason your girl fakes it.   8 […]

  9. EyeBoogerRockStar says:

    All of these amount to two things = bad communication and immature thinking. Grow up, grow a pair, and talk to your man about your needs. Faking orgasms when he's sucking at sex will only condition him to think he's rocking it with methods that actually don't work. What would you rather do? That? Or work with him so he only ever does things you actually like? As for being sick/tired/worried/etc, I'd almost rather the girl tell me to go rub one out than give me a pity screw that she doesn't enjoy.

    Now, let's talk about exaggerating orgasm intensity…

  10. steve says:

    Faking it is pure B.S. There is over 6 billion people on this planet, with half women. Guys, don't do it with a faker. If she will fake there, everything else is simple for her. Find one you can talk with and address that issue right away.

  11. Lawl says:

    You know what's funny, yea women mainly fake orgasms because they are too insecure to communicate with their guy but if it were more common for women to be honest, there would be internet posts about women being demanding bitches in the bedroom. "How can she not be satisfied after all of that!".

    1. Sparky says:

      Well, that depends on how you handle it but it also depends on the type of man you are attracted to and hook up with. I was linked to this article from the outside. As someone who is older… but contemporary, I've seen a lot of things. Men and women tend to be attracted to similar types of people, which could mean you are lucky enough to connect with someone easily, or you frequently find yourselves in bad relationships. With the later, there will be years of unpleasantry unless you reassess your goals and needs. If you connect with a guy, and he posts that you are a bitch – you've obviously picked the wrong guy. Now, getting to how to handle the situation. Before hitting the bed, have a discussion on foreplay, in a playful manner. If you are tired, mention how a body rub would help, and plan a make-up session later on. During the act, inquire about his needs and (if he's not selfish and likes you) he will ask in return. If not, gesture or state what pushes your buttons – or just take charge, but playfully. After all, it's supposed to be enjoyment. There's only so much I can post on this topic in this manner – as dialog is needed.

  12. LAWL says:

    ALSO a lot of women need external stimulation to orgasm with mere penetration not cutting it.
    ALSO some of those 15 reasons left me asking, "Why did woman decide to have sex in the first place if she wasn't going to put in effort?" Why? Another reason presented as to why women fake orgasms: because she's afraid her partner will leave her. All of this comes from insecurity. That's why so many women settle for giving a blow job because she doesn't want sex but since he wants it, she might as well do something to make him happy for the moment.
    It's a two street, guys should make sure that the girl is into it all along the way.
    And I don't understand why a woman would a fake an orgasm. "Sometimes, you gotta do whatcha gotta do" but if you didn't orgasm, there's no need to fake it. You could have enjoyed the overall experience… There could be a round two… I just don't get it..

  13. Lils says:

    To all the guys saying "just be honest," here's one that's not in the reasons: Sometimes women don't get off even when we're genuinely turned on, we wanted to have sex, and we're enjoying everything that's going on. It just happens (or doesn't, in this case). BUT, when we explain this to our partner after not getting off, he is clearly crushed and believes he has done everything wrong despite repeated assurances to the contrary. Which then makes the sex crap the next time because we're panicked about having a orgasm so our guy doesn't feel bad. Hence faking. Doesn't apply to every situation, but it's often why my friends and I have faked. Some of you only believe us when we lie!

    1. Electrickflame says:

      No women only believe guys when we lie, you would rather a guy to lie to you initially when you meet instead of the guy who is willing to be honest and up front about any and everything! Your excuse is that he wasn't interesting enough, he didnt leave anything for me to figure out! It was once said,"If man could overthrow p—y, he would be king in a day!" You women use what you have as a weapon against men and its just wrong!

    2. Sparky says:

      Lils. Guys can be turned on by the slightest of breezes. Most of us know that climaxing a woman is a challenge… and it's a challenge we like to take on and conquer. Many times a nice long stimulating full body rub will help us achieve that goal, light toughing gestures and playful talk are just a few of the tools we like to use. Guys who are into you will show attentiveness to your reactions and needs. Every reaction you have is being recorded as things to do the next time or not to do. We really do want your input on this, whether it is a reaction to a pleasurable thing we do or a displeasurable sound to let us know not to do it again. The goal is to make you happy. (part 1)

    3. Sparky says:

      (part 2) If your guy just piles on you and jumps off, he's not really into you. If your guy doesn't bother to take the time to really get to know you intimately, he's not really into you. If a guy is into you and is trying to address your needs… lying to them is the worst thing you can do. If you are straight up with him, he might just turn that energy into a full body rub or a good foot rub to make you feel better. Regarding the faking aspect: Sometimes we might buy it, but most times we know what we've done and know your reactions… and we develop a suspicion that you were faking. The next few times, we will be double-checking to see if that’s true or not. Again, if your guy just assumes he’s pleasured you… he’s not that into you.

    4. Mike G. says:

      Oh my God… How old are you??? Once you graduate high school you'll hopefully start to date men who wont go run to the corner and cry just because you didnt orgasm. Oh and you're not doing him any favors by lying to him, grow up…

  14. Zach says:

    It's such a damn shame that so many women (purportedly) have such a big issue with communicating with their men. I always ask my woman what she wants, and she knows she doesn't have to fake it. She's not afraid to tell me "I lost it" or "That hurts" If i nibble too much or I'm too rough. Maybe instead of an article about why women fake it, and making it seem like it's just a fact that can't be helped, an article about communication in bed would be more helpful for men AND women…

  15. zach says:

    Lol. I also like how reason #14 is supposedly "Universal" and supposed to be helpful to men… I literally laughed out loud…

  16. stupidguest says:

    maybe the guys are a lil too convinced of their own abilities….uh, you know? you GUYS! may be doing 'it' wrong. ever think about that??? probably not. pinis is always right, huh?

    1. notconvinced says:

      Your name really says it all. You really are stupid. Did you not notice how 99 percent of the list is pure bullshit based on laziness, inside jokes girls have with each other and stereotypes? If we are doing it wrong, why can't you say something about it instead of lying through your vagina? How is faking an orgasm in any way the right thing to do in that situation? Faking an orgasm is the same exact thing as lying to your partner and that is pure selfishness. Reason one why so many relationships don't work out nowadays is because people don't know how to communicate: this goes for all types of relationships. Improper communication usually leads to lies and so forth.

    2. Mike G. says:

      Actually most guys could care less about our abilities… When guys are discussing our conquests we never say (Oh my God I hope she had a orgasm!) Ha Ha! Just sayin…

  17. […] Another thing you probably shouldn’t bring up is why women fake it. Here are some reasons. Consult the list and don’t actually ask women to confirm its accuracy. (College Candy) […]

  18. almoza says:

    but if you didn't tell us you didn't like it we will think you like it then we will gave you the same evry time thinking that that what work, that dumb

  19. mist says:

    Why make it 15 reasons… just look through the list.
    Why do women fake orgasms? Because most of them are lousy (and self-centered) sexually.

    Lets be honest. Women lie. A lot. mostly to themselves. Otherwise they'd be looking at that list and saying "how can I make it better for us?" but no, whether it's a one-night stand or a relationship, honest open communication is something guys are supposed to do; women fake it, lie and pretty much do anything to avoid taking real responsibility for improving things.
    You lie/fake and get lousy sex? And it stays that way? Dear, it ain't his fault…. Its a 2 participant activity; and no he aint supposed to be so wow'ed at you and your "mystery" that he needs to throw himself at your every whim.

  20. KXG says:

    Everything I'm seeing in this list basically amounts to poor communication skills or someone who shouldn't even -be- in a relationship to begin with. Half of them were tantamount to being -bored- during sex. If you don't feel comfortable telling your partner "no" because you're not in the mood and you're afraid they might leave you or cheat on you or they bore you that much during coitus, you're either delusionally paranoid or you shouldn't BE in a relationship with that person, or at all. If someone loves you, it's perfectly acceptable to say "I'm not in the mood." and not worry he might bolt for some strange, and if he doesn't love you, why are you in a relationship other than for the sex? Nice passive-aggressive blame shifting onto the male partner too, btw. But I think it's the woman who needs to see a therapist to work through some of the glaring issues with her self-esteem or communication skills comprising 99% of this list.

  21. Maj says:

    As a female, I can only understand two of those reasons, and even then I don't fake it – the other ones are selfish and stupid! This "list" seems a bit immature, and possibly could be satire. If I'm not interested in sex, I don't have it. What is there to fake? If it's not happening, perhaps he'll want to try a different position, or means of stimulation for you. How about do some work yourselves ladies… Get on top, or tell him "I like that" when he does something you DO like. Believe me, a good lover isn't going to freak out if he doesn't make you orgasm with sex. Tell him what you do like, and be sure to communicate the things that turn you off as well. Why do people have so much trouble communicating?! And don't tell me about body issues either. I am a bit chubby and do have my "less than sexy" days, but why should I let that stop me from getting in the mood? Obviously there is someone wanting to have sex with me, and he thinks I'm attractive, so why the insecurity? The important thing is to enjoy. For me personally, sex feels fantastic whether or not I orgasm from intercourse.

    1. Sparky says:

      Maj, you seem to be someone who is not only in touch with her feelings, but also cares about the guy she is with. Most guys don't want to be lied to and want to please their mate. If a guy doesn't want to please their mate… he's not really into them or their relationship, more of a taker than a giver. That leads to a lot of frustration and misdirected anger in the relationship later on. My sisters get these women's magazines, and as a guy, I'd like to pick up pointers or information on how ladies think. The thing I notice are the hypocritical articles within. One minute, it will talk about being honest with your mate, the next, there will be an article when it's good to lie to them or fake an orgasm. You can't have both. Best wishes to an empowered and honest woman.

  22. Tom Whitefield says:

    who cares? man gets off, woman may or may not –

    1. notconvinced says:

      way to miss the point

  23. jode72 says:

    Um, girls, I don't pretend to know anything about women, not even after forty years of practice at it, but I do men – I've been one all my life. So let me tell you that making a man believe that he just rung your bell is weapons-grade positive reinforcement. And if you do it falsely, two things will happen: 1) You will lie to your man on a deeper level than you will ever realize, EVER; and 2) whatever your man was doing at the time you decided to rock HIS world, he will do twice as hard and twice as often next time. So remember, girls, with great power comes great responsibility. Think twice about doing us any such "favors" in bed. You'll regret it on so many levels.

    1. Kevin says:

      awesome words, And wise :-)

  24. christos mpitas says:

    they fake??? who cares?!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Darvulia says:

      See? Many don´t give a shit and we stupidly believe they do

    2. Darvulia says:

      I rest my case.

    3. Mike G. says:

      Nice… Couldnt have said better…

  25. riley34 says:

    Whats funny is that #8 is the main reason you SHOULDN'T fake it. I would rather have a girl tell me what feels good and learn with her then get a nice free Oscar lesson. And also all of these reasons you girls "fake" it, are reasons your man is going to find someone else who will talk and learn with him and not ignore him.

    1. riley34 says:

      Oh and if your CONTROL freaks…..Then Control your Orgasm!! Help the guy understand you and how you want it. Most guys will usually think of you first and himself second. So all you girls faking it is just disgraceful. I would much rather be told "it didn't do anything for me" than be lied to. especially when its during probably the most emotional level with you significant other.

  26. Sparky says:

    Most men want to please the woman they are with and are open to any guidance – as we know everyone is different. Even guys have different needs and desires that you should inquire about. Don't lie. Firstly, this just leads to frustration and resentment later on. If you don't correct the man, or send proper signals, they will rarely meet your needs. Secondly, most men know it's difficult at times to create a climax, and if it requires a full body rub, foot rub, gentle tickling, caressing we'll do it. Thirdly, when you are faking it – we know it or suspect it and pay greater attention the next time. We are paying attention and recording everything we do so that we do it the next time or don't do it But, the most important thing… If your guy doesn't ask you what your needs are, if he hops on and off again, failing to reciprocate…they are takers and not givers. What's more: THEY JUST AREN'T THAT INTO YOU.

  27. some dude says:

    The times I suspect she might be faking I usually feel let down, lied to, and alone.

    1. Mike G. says:

      Dude, please seek professional help. Seriously WTF if you're not forcing your woman into bed and she's there on her own free will and not getting off thats HER fault, just like if you dont get off its YOUR fault. Please people is it that hard to communicate with someone you love or even just like. I feel bad for people like this, the last thing I want to do after sex is curl up in the fetal position and cry, most of the time im thinking about round two as should you…

  28. Josh says:

    So…women are liars? Half of these reasons are bull. Concert tickets? Not hurt our feeling? Awesome, all this article does is depress good guys because now we’ll never trust our woman because all she wants is Adele tickets

  29. Your Daily Troll says:

    Screw it. Just make me a flippin sandwhich instead.

  30. Brian says:

    This is list is selfish mosh pit of inexperience and miscommunication….One would think two people in a relationship would have some kinda of honesty and openess but judging by this list, that seems to be a damn fantasy….The previous comments were right, just let me know if u don't feel like it. I know some dudes would go crazy but thats the part about knowing and understanding your man. The girl writing this article doesnt seem to and thats gonna lead to bigger bs down the road when she doesn't feel like faking it…

  31. Charles says:

    The female sex organ tells you when she is climaxing, only an inexperienced male can fall for the Okie doke. Wait for the contractions my brothers.

    1. Alexa says:

      Oh, Charles. Don't be naive. Some women know how to contract their muscles to simulate orgasm. Frankly, that's a method some of us use to help *you* climax faster (think about the physiology of what's happening there).

      The bottom line is: You and your partner should have an open and honest relationship. That's the only way you can tell when she's climaxing.

  32. Kaylie says:

    Female here! I read these because I was curious to see if these things lined up with what women have told me. I find some of this list insulting because they make a lot of assumptions about what preoccupies women in the first place (ie. Adele). I can see why some of these would appeal to younger women especially, and it's probably no surprise (unless you watch too much porn) that getting a woman off (or us getting ourselves off) is more complex than pumping in and out a few times. I do agree that letting a man think it's working makes nobody happy in the long run. My personal motto is as follows: if I RSVP to the party, I'm coming:) It helps when you're seeing a man who is confident and mature enough himself to accept some instruction, but I'm always candid about what is working for me and what's not, and it's not acceptable for me for one of us to get there and the other not to. I'm also very candid about when I know it's not going to work occasionally. I'm even more candid about how happy I am that my guy always makes sure I'm satisfied too:), and how much more sex I want to have because of it. Never really had any complaints with this approach….

  33. Jenna says:

    This list starts out with "Let’s be honest, we’ve all faked it with a guy at one time or another." WRONG! I have never faked an orgasm in my life, and I never would. What's the point? Like many posters have mentioned, you're only reinforcing the behavior that you're trying to avoid by faking it in the first place. My fiance knows that I'm not going to get off every single time we have sex, and I don't need to. Climax is not the end all and be all of sex, at least for me. There's also the closeness and bonding that has nothing to do with how it ends. If I'm looking for the big O, and whatever we're doing is just not doing it for me, we switch to something that will. Not a big deal. When you work with your partner, instead of against them, by communicating your needs and wants, the payoff is WAY better than "just getting it over with." This list is depressing.

    1. Lauren says:

      I KNOW, RIGHT? Never have, never will. Who the fuck does this? I don't know anyone who does this. Is it a generational thing? I thought the preoccupation with faked and "real vaginal" orgasms died down in the eighties.
      I've never been with a dude who just *needs* me to have a vaginal orgasm or his ego will just crack, and if I was and didn't know it, I hope I taught him a lesson haha. We're talking about sex between adults here, right? We're not assuming a language barrier here, right? Then why can't biddies just say they're hungry, or "sorry hun, I'm super tired right now- can we just snuggle and go at it like rabbits in the morning?" Or maybe just… not orgasm every time.
      THE MORAL OF THE STORY: 1) stop being a baby, 2) it's not hot n' manly or hot n' womanly not to communicate, 3) EAT HER OUT.

    2. cc 2 says:

      thats the point of having sex rite? (besides makin babies lol)

      if u work hard enuff at it, u get off… ur sloppy , then u get wat u deserve…

      girls are so hard to read tho… most are fake wastes of life that copy one another.

      i actually REALLY REALLY wish i WAS gay lol. getting off would b fun again ;) lol srsly tho, wtf

    3. Sullivan says:


  34. Pachino666 says:

    I'm not smart or wise, but while reading these 15 messages i had to laugh. How can one person speak for a a few million and say that their all the same. Any person who was a social life knows that everyone is different. That also means the sex and orgasms are different. I've been with a few woman and if they all would have felt and thought the same life would be boaring. If you see the comments it is obvious that you're not talking for everyone.

  35. ZZZZ says:


  36. jay says:

    Wow, for most of those reasons did it ever occur to you to just not have sex?

  37. Brian says:

    When one lives in a world of insecure people then there will be all those reasons and more…I find it so amazing that in the U.S even married people don't really know each other and are afraid to let the other person know how he or she feels.

  38. Jmac says:

    Honesty and being into the one your with should be all the recipe you should need…because everything should then fall in line…..a real man should realize it isnt about what he does but how important he puts his partners enjoyment a priority…nobodys perfect…

  39. Adam says:

    This is shameful. Sex should be cherished and not rushed along. If you are worried/bored/not in the mood then say "no". Its not that hard, most of the time the guy will understand and probly just masturbate. You need to express your needs or else sex will never be good because the guy will never improve.

  40. mark says:

    The number one reason why woman fake orgasm . They think men care !!!!!

  41. Ernest Winters says:

    A few come to mind right away – 15?, that takes work! Great job!

  42. Ray says:

    Reason #1-15: "We're dishonest and don't know how to communicate like adults."

    1. tombooo says:

      LOL YESSS!!!!!!!

      go re read them all now after reading rays comment LOLOL.

      you hit the nail on the head man. girls r nuttts!
      try asking a female friend if tthey think girls r crazy… lol. it wasnt that long ago that girls couldnt evn vote. i think people back in the day had it rite lmao!

      too much games n nonsense…..
      and if ur wondering where all the gay guys came from? its cause of women!

  43. Charles says:

    I can accept that for some Alexa, but tons of women don’t have the nuro muscular control to perform like that in that area. Kudos to those who do however.

  44. Mr Tedyz says:

    To be honest.. I'm a grown man. And i fake with my fiance even when she wasn't my fience. It's not that hard to fake. minus the jesus juice if she looks to notice. parden my saying in words. We men just got to know how to do it. Alot of the times I don't want it and just go for the ride.Why not? go nothing to loose. Sept my alone time doing whatever.

  45. Dan says:

    I can totally relate. I can't tell you how many times I faked enjoying the conversation just to get in her pants.

  46. Andy says:

    poor Katie

    1. bitchesBcrazy2 says:

      lolololololol ya poor katie
      atleast guys can get off everytime lol.

      fuckn girls r nuuts bro. remember that and then look at women. its actually amazing.
      it brings new light to an article such as this

  47. jessie says:

    boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner, girls just wanna have fun

  48. Justin says:

    Thats why you start with your tongue and finish her b4 u even start.

  49. Darvulia says:

    Reason 16: We believe you give a damn, but sometimes we are fooling ourselves believing you actually care. Bitter? Not really, because I´ve learned not to settle and the difference between being tolerant and a Sister of Mercy. Bitchy? Yeah, probably.

  50. joshua says:

    from the looks of it, every one of these "fifteen reasons" are all ancillary to the one main reason: the guy is not getting her off. no blame game here. but if she were enjoying the sex, none of these "reasons" would actually have effect.

    1. Emilie says:

      You're just dumb, I've never heard something more ignorant. I wonder how many girls have faked it with you.

    2. MakeShift says:

      funny how you call him dumb…without stating a reason or even your opinion on why you disagree, your either young or ignorant yourself please learn not to get your feelings hurt when reading comments.

  51. tevra1 says:

    Guys are aware of the faking and don't give a damn so long as they get their rocks off

  52. ReadyDude says:

    Who cares? Why is your orgasm solely our responsibility?

  53. Thecoldhardtruth says:

    The number 1 reason guys care about you faking an orgasm:

    We don't. Doors over there, enjoy your 10 years of getting by on your looks and see me when you develop (from this list) a sense of self worth and a personality.

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