Who is Kate Upton and Why Does My Boyfriend Love Her?

December 26, 2011     Posted in Celebrity, Relationships, TMZ RSS


By Alex

No relationship is perfect. We all fight our own battles — whether your boyfriend forgets to pick you up from swim practice, doesn’t notice your new haircut or simply doesn’t want to get drunk and make out 24/7 (haha, yeah right). Most of these issues are navigable, however. You talk it out, forgive and forget.

But what happens when the “battle” at hand is a 5’10 blonde bombshell named Kate Upton and she’s taking up 100% of your BF’s attention? Who is this b*tch? Does she ever put clothes on? No, seriously, I think she goes grocery shopping in a thong and push-up. Clean up on aisle five, droolfest.

Ladies, I think it’s time we learned as much as possible about Ms. Upton, relationship terrorist. Arm yourselves with knowledge and an even fiercer, lacier, whore-ier set of underwear. Our friends at COEDMagazine, who were some of the first guys to drink the Kate Kool-Aid, did us the favor of recapping her finer moments of 2011. Take heed.

16 Comments on "Who is Kate Upton and Why Does My Boyfriend Love Her?"

  1. Katie Garrity - North Central College says:
    Mon, 26th Dec 20117:51 pm 

    Lord in the heavens. She is smoking. I could never be mad at my boyfriend for being infatuated…I'M infatuated. This is a battle not worth fighting, girl. Let it happen.

  2. Maggie says:
    Mon, 26th Dec 20118:05 pm 

    There will always be a new, sexy girl for my boyfriend to love. Fortunately, he knows that he will never get with her. The same way he knows I will never get with Ryan Gosling. Just as long as he doesn't expect me to be like this girl, we're good!

  3. Joyce says:
    Mon, 26th Dec 201110:08 pm 

    She's all boobs and no face; not too interested. Plus, my hubby has already been hypnotized by another blonde bombshell: Heidi Klum…but the downside is that I like her as much as he does.

  4. Joyce says:
    Mon, 26th Dec 201110:15 pm 

    Plus, this Kate Upton has horrible chicken legs!!!!!!
    http://coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/v…

  5. bleh says:
    Tue, 27th Dec 20115:07 am 

    if she didnt have enormous tits she wouldn't be a model. she's actually a bit chubby, has no waist and her face is nothing special.

  6. Sophie says:
    Tue, 27th Dec 20117:32 am 

    This whole article is very offensive. So if you're not 5'10 and blonde you're not hot? You immediately have to despair because you'll never get any attention? This is why thousands of girls commit suicide every year, because of articles like this who create insecurities where they don't need to exist…

  7. Joyce says:
    Tue, 27th Dec 20117:54 am 

    I am almost the same height, and being tall is not all that. It took me many years to feel good about being tall.

    Personally, seeing this woman's pictures really made me feel so good about myself. I mean, chicken legs are so not attractive, neither does saggy boobs (despite a push up bra can fix that), or no butt. Yeah, I am so much happier with my muscular legs, perkier boobs, and plenty of junk in the trunk.

    Y'all can add me on FB: this.is.joeychan@gmail.com

  8. Sophie says:
    Tue, 27th Dec 20119:44 am 

    A battle?? So you think it's ok?? I want to see if you have the same opinion when your bf dumps your because of her, and see if you still think it's fair…

  9. anne says:
    Tue, 27th Dec 201110:49 am 

    did you realize how badly photoshopped she is in some of the pics? specially the vs one with the pink bra and the pic with the black stay ups. ridiculous!

  10. Allison says:
    Wed, 28th Dec 201112:32 am 

    pretty sure that's not in the realm of possibilites haha. i think the battle she means is letting her boyfriend be infatuated

  11. Moehaha says:
    Wed, 25th Jan 20129:07 am 

    Loved your post Alex! It's really great to read insecure goofy looking women's frustration over other girls that ARE hot. No worries, I'm sure you'll one day find a guy that thinks your special enough to pick you up from swim practice, and who jerks off to Kate Upton without you knowing. But please don't call her a bitch, just because she has a chest and you don't. Think of the benefits e.g. you spending less time giving your boyfriend a bj, because he's able to picture someone like Kate. Don't be a hater Alex, just accept the fact that some girls are crazy hot, and you're….well……different!

  12. asd says:
    Fri, 27th Jan 20125:22 pm 

    And I bet you're quite the model aren't you? Fatso.

  13. asd says:
    Fri, 27th Jan 20125:24 pm 

    The intense bitterness on here makes me sick. Just face the fact she's good looking and you're noway in her league. Your boyfriend will drop you like a dime if she ever gives him the opportunity to be with her.
    Bunch of fat, old, ugly women. Face it, there are better looking women out there than you. Don't be bitter. That's life.

  14. Ben says:
    Fri, 3rd Feb 20129:42 pm 

    Amen to that asd! Amen to that. Haters…

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    Tue, 15th May 20124:56 pm 

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