A brunch recap sesh is the perfect only way to end an epic weekend.  It’s absolutely essential to make sure all parties are aware of the ridiculous things that happened Thursday through Sunday. After four years of recapping embarrassing, hilarious and truly epic weekends, I think I’ve nailed down a few key elements to make sure that you experience the ultimate brunch recap session every single Sunday.

1. Location, location, location. I mean, duh. Don’t share your crazy details in the hearing range of professors/exboyfriends/ex-bffs. You don’t want to have to deal with embarrassing apologies and awkward backtracking when you’re already nursing a hangover.

2. Speaking of hangovers… food is a must. Whether it’s an order-in morning, a corner table in the dining hall, or some noble soul who scrounges up the energy (and spare change) to get everyone Starbucks, you need something to curb that hangover. A venti coffee and  scone sound just about perfect. But then again, so does a bacon egg and cheese and quad latte… or maybe a mimosa. The possibilities are endless. Just get some food in that belly!

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Obviously I love Harry Potter, that’s not a secret. This summer I was in Orlando for a lacrosse tournament and went to the original Wizarding World of Harry Potter, which is the most magical place I’ve been. I’m talking exact replica of Hogsmeade, full on Hogwarts Castle, and Butterbeer. Although it was insanely crowded, it was so cool that we went twice. In the same day. Seriously, if I could move there and be a character, I definitely would.

People were lined up for hours waiting to get into Ollivander’s Wand Shop and The Three Broomsticks. That was actually a good thing because it freed up the lines for the rides. The former Dueling Dragons roller coaster is now based off of Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. Yeah, they have the Tri-Wizard cup there. There’s also a kid’s ride called Flight of the Hippogriff, but the real kicker is in Hogwarts. You travel with Harry, Ron, and Hermione through all of their wild adventures in one of the coolest rides I’ve ever been on. Trust me, you have to go. Even if you don’t like Harry Potter, it’s awesome. Read More »

Freshmen recap: what I learned first semester

How to score the best college scholarship

One-serving recipes made for the broke college kid

Awkward Christmas break interactions

16 new and exciting ways to eat Ramen noodles

Dress like Pippa!

All the best ways to make 2012 stress-free

Where to go on your Spring-booze Break.. it’s only 100 days away

The best of the best: music of 2011

Rice is such a healthy carb. As a girl who loves carbs, I have been trying to funnel healthier ones into my life lately. A bit less potatoes and a lot less bread. With the holidays coming up, I need to save up my carb quota so I can go wild on cookies and mashed potatoes once Christmas rolls around. (This might not be how eating healthy works, but I don’t care.)

With the addition of foods full of antioxidants and iron, like olives and spinach, rice can become a tasty side dish to everything from grilled chicken or fish to steak, as well as a yummy lunch in its own right. Read More »

Students erupt with cheer as the end of the semester is coming near. It’s getting quite chilly, but don’t skimp on your beauty routine, silly. I know winter is tough, and the cold is rough. But don’t be frightful, I’m here to make winter beauty delightful!

I wrote you all a poem. While it hasn’t necessarily been too cold down here in the south (as in it was 70 degrees last week), the nights are getting frigid. I can only imagine how it feels up north right now. Winter can be really harsh on your skin and hair, so I want to make sure you all have the proper means of keeping everything under control as the temperature drops. You’re not the only one having winter beauty issues, trust me. I feel all of your woes. My skin gets really confused between being oily and too dry. My hair dries out, but it’s not like I can walk outside with it wet #beautyguruproblems. Read More »

Processed foods are generally not good for us, regardless of how they are advertised. I’ve lived with roommates who firmly believed that they were on wholesome, perfectly nutritious diets all the while subsisting on Power bars, frozen TV dinners from the health food section of our local grocery store and Gatorade. Just because a product is advertised as a health food does not make it one! A trip to the grocery store quickly confirms this simple, yet often forgotten principle. In fact, many of the foods advertised as “energy bars” or nutrient packed “protein powders” are some of the most dangerous foods you could possibly consume. Take for instance PowerBar’s Triple Threat Chocolate Peanut Butter Crisp. Putting aside the fact that the name of this bar doesn’t sound healthy to begin with (albeit it does sound decadently delicious), let us pretend that we fall for the claim that this bar provides “long lasting energy” as marketed on the packaging. Now, let us begin to become enlightened about why this PowerBar can do no such thing and doesn’t even taste decadently delicious for Pete’s sake. Read More »

Clear Skin. Perfectly smooth, no bumps, uneven color or blemishes to been seen. This is one thing I don’t think I’ve had since I was possibly 9. I can remember my first zit when I was 10 and my mother used that little contraption that is meant to pop zits with out having you physically touch them. It hurt like a bitch and didn’t really do anything. The next day, the zit was still there and it was bigger. My mother had told me not to pop the zit with my fingers but the thing was throbbing. I looked in the mirror and there it was, glaring back at me with a giant head of puss on the edge of my nose. At the age of 10 I knew I was being mocked and I swear now I could hear it saying “Nanner, nanner, nanner, you can’t get me!” (Okay, it really wasn’t, but it was my first zit) I tried to use the thing my mom had used before but I couldn’t figure out which side to use so I used my fingers. I gently pushed on either side of the zit and then pop! I felt a sudden sense of relief from the pressure the puss had been exerting on my skin. Read More »

Look chic on the streets: shopping on a budget

Would you or wouldn’t you wear this velvet dress?

Make-up for the body, mind and soul

Giving the gift of green: eco-friendly makeup palettes

How short is too short? The perfect length for layering

This Revlon gift is a must this season

Wear this pink shade of lipstick and wear spring all year long

The right way to wear colored denim

2011’s most searched celebrity hairstyles

Try this new perfume!

Where to find the perfect pleated skirt

I could write a book filled with my friends’ hook up horror stories, but that would be ugly and unproductive. So in the spirit of Liz Lemon, I decided to make a list of deal breakers to prevent said horror stories. Unfortunately, many of my friends have followed through with a hookup despite a definite deal breaker (I have not of course, because I am perfect and never make mistakes). Enough is enough. Some things are just plain unacceptable and must be addressed.

However, I didn’t just write this list for girls. Pass this post on to a guy friend. Gentlemen, please pay attention. I’m trying to help you.

1. The Head Move

Head has two meanings here. If you’re a girl, you know exactly what I’m talking about already. The guy you’re making out with places one of his hands on your head or shoulder (barely a step up) and proceeds to gently push you downward. Subtle.

Out of all the over-eager pushy moves guys pull, this has got to be one of the most disrespectful because it wanders into the area of coercion, which is NOT ok.

At best, this tactic epitomizes the male sex’s inability to communicate. Why does the necessity to constantly talk about sex only disappear when you’re actually in the act?  USE YOUR WORDS. So many of my friends have encountered the head move that I’m starting to think guys genuinely believe it to be smooth. Why? How? NO. It’s rude and awkward (more awkward than simply speaking up. Shocker.). You might as well say “Hey, ya know what? I really don’t want to look at your face right now. So if ya don’t mind…”

WE KNOW WHERE IT IS. Please, just ask or let us offer.

2. Overly Aggressive Dirty Talk

On the other hand, a guy who enjoys using his words a little too much can also be a problem. One of my friends was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he suddenly said something so atrocious I don’t feel comfortable quoting it. All I will say is he spoke in a deep, husky voice “reminiscent of Buffalo Bill from ‘The Silence of The Lambs’ ” and ended his exclamation with “BITCH.”

They were about 5 minutes into making out…

Guys, you want to make a girl feel sexy, not like she’s about to be murdered, skinned and then sewn into some socio-path’s lady-suit. So, think before you speak, especially if it’s your first time hooking up with her. She may not even be into that, so try and pull it back…especially if you’re both still fully clothed.

3. Bad kissing 

OK, we can handle the cheesy dance moves or all around lack of rhythm. These tend to be less consistent gauges of a potential hookup’s prowess. However, we cannot and will not tolerate questionable kissing skills. Let me put this into perspective; the guy doing “the fishing-line” on the dance floor has a significantly better chance at catching some tail than the J.T.-in-training who kisses like a trout. (Sadly, the later will not be “rocking” anyone’s body anytime soon. Cheesy enough mixed metaphor for ya?). There is NO excuse for still being a bad kisser by the time you’ve reached COLLEGE.

And no, we don’t care this much because a great make-out is just sooooo romantic and swoon-worthy. We care because if you don’t have that fundamental step down, you’ll most likely disappoint past that point.

4. Overbearing and Over-sharing

One of my friends had been hooking up with a guy for only a couple weeks when he gave her a toothbrush so she could “start staying over all the time!” Yay? As she so eloquently reflected, “2 fast, 2 furious.” Coming on too strong, too soon can make a girl very uncomfortable.

This also includes the often drunken over-sharing. There’s a difference between opening up and word vomit. Girls can make great listeners, but don’t abuse this quality. There is a time and a place…and, hey, probably another person that you could talk to. Pre or Post-hookup, we don’t want to hear about your friend drama, and, please, don’t ever bring up your ex-girlfriend. TMI is a turn-off. Remember, if she was your shrink, you’d being lying on her couch, not her bed.

5. Overconfidence

True, some girls find copious amounts of confidence irresistible, but if you use pick-up lines seriously or refer to yourself in the third person, most girls are just going to think you’re an ass. Worst-case scenario: we find you funny (in a laughing at you not with you sense).

Another friend of mine was once hooking up with a guy who suddenly stopped to ask her, “So, how many times have you climaxed so far?” Did I mention they had been having sex for maybe 10 minutes?

Dude, too soon. What’s next, a Steve Jobs joke?

(She told me this story crying with laughter. At least he did that for her…).

6. Super Sketchy Secretive Behavior

I’m addressing this section mainly to girls. To a lot of us, this is a red flag. However, some girls don’t see a guy’s shenanigans as sketchy, but as mysterious and exciting. I know girls with 4.0’s that fall into this trap. It has got to stop. He is not James Bond, and you are not a Bond girl. So beware of the LATE night texts, secret meeting places, lack of public interaction, and overall treatment of your hookup as a covert operation.

You are not role-playing. HE’S PROBABLY MARRIED.

7. Wanting to Go Condom Commando

This shouldn’t even need an explanation. Girls, don’t give into this pressure by any means. What guy is going to say, “Ok, well I’d rather not have sex at all then”?

If by some off chance he does, he’s an idiot. Sucks to suck.

8. Extreme Drunkenness

Ladies, if he went to the bathroom to “take a piss” and returns with a minty-fresh mouth, he probably wasn’t handling his beer breathe for you, he actually just tactically vommed. Sound cynical? This has happened to more than one of my friends (and they only knew the truth because the fellas fessed up). Get out. Get out immediately.

Guys, extreme drunkenness can lead to not only sloppy seduction, but also disaster. Remember how Jonah Hill head-butts Emma Stone in “Superbad” because he passes out as he leans in to kiss her? Well, even if you make it past your fellow fallen soldier, as long as you too are extremely intoxicated, you’re not going get much further. A girl doesn’t have to be psychic to predict that the hookup will most likely be super bad in other ways.

Bottom line: No girl wants to feel like a sexual predator…or Snookie’s handler.

Of course this list could go on-and-on and get strangely specific. For example, I could add “playing weird mood music” (cranking up the Sarah Bareillis doesn’t exactly set the scene for seduction. Yes, this too has happened to one of my poor friends). However, I trust that the eight deal breakers above cover more common ground. That being said, I recognize that every girl has her personal preferences, and that’s awesome. Just make sure you’re getting what you want out of your hookup experience.

As for the lovely upstanding gentlemen who took the time to read this post, I’d like to impart to you the secret to improving in all the aforementioned areas:

Stop it.