Diary of the Undateable: Made for TV
I’ve decided that in life, there are two types of women. Number one is the E! lady. She lives life like a season one Kardashian – care free, smiling, fearlessly fab with a Netflix-size queue of dates all of the time. And then you have the ABC dating special woman.
For those of you who are unaware, the ABC dating special was a segment that aired a few years ago which haunts some women to the core. Someone did a study about how black women are least likely to find a suitable mate because of the lack of eligible men in the world. They’re either locked up or in jail…or so they say. The ABC dating special is something that’s been talked about ever since it aired, and I remember nearly every word.
These women were brilliant, successful, beautiful, well-coiffed and well-dressed. Total catches. So why in the heck didn’t they have men?
I’m starting to feel like I’m on the path to “Nightline” land. But let me back up a little bit.
I’ve already mentioned that I have never had a boyfriend before. For some people, it may not be the end of the world. And truthfully, it isn’t. I’m healthy, I attend an awesome school and I have a loving family. I’m very fortunate. But it would be really nice to have someone to walk around the city aimlessly with, you know?
I was always the girl who didn’t have someone in middle school and high school. When my best friend went out on a date, I’d somehow manage to roll along as the handy third wheel. While my girls were texting and calling their respectable boos at sleepovers, I went through the settings and ringtones in my phone to pretend I was as well. Instead of attending prom with a boyfriend or a boy friend, I went with friends…who were in relationships. Some of it is because I’m still very shy and introverted – it’s a childhood characteristic that I’ve yet to shake. I’m afraid to approach guys that I’m attracted to. Some of it is because I always crush on jerks. All of it leaves me single.
“In a few years, you’ll have a ton of guys after you! Just give it some time,” people used to tell me. If I had a nickel for every time I heard this, I could pay off my growing student debt.
Although I pretend that it doesn’t bother me, I know that I don’t want to end up like the women in that news report. Feel free to roll your eyes at me, but I’m a hopeless romantic. One day, I’d like to experience my own love story. I want to experience the make ups and break ups and a culminating Lorraine Schwartz engagement ring. I’m tired of wishing, though.
I turn 21 in a few weeks, meaning I’m damn near grown. Since I’m too broke to appear on “The Millionaire Matchmaker,” I have to make something happen for myself. I’ve dabbled in the online dating scene and I’ve tried to make myself available to my crushes. I’ll try harder. Heck, I’ll try anything. By the time 22 rolls around, I want to shake my undateable appeal.