We’ve probably all crossed paths with a drama queen, or been friends with one, or even been one! You know who we’re talking about, right? She’s that gal who is a bit self-absorbed, highly sensitive, and extremely emotional. Everyday experiences become larger than life to her; and she expects her friends to drop what they’re doing and be as captivated with her drama as she is with it. Notoriously self centered, she believes that her crisis is your crisis, and her problems should be your top priority! In other words, her needs overshadow yours, hands down!
In our book, Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine (and get everything you want!), we call this type of woman a “Disruptive Alpha” – one of the four characteristics that defines an Alpha Bitch. The Disruptive Alpha, or drama queen, is a master at creating tension and discord everywhere she goes. She knows how to stir the pot by bringing up provocative subjects and dropping inflammatory comments at just the right time. And she just loves to spread juicy gossip that is sure to ignite her girlfriends’ emotions and send them reeling.
Yes, she’s that friend who loves (in fact needs) constant attention and doesn’t mind how much upheaval she creates in order to get it. She’ll cause embarrassing scenes in bars if the spotlight rests on someone else, or she’ll start nasty arguments with her boyfriend just to ensure that she monopolizes the sympathy of her girlfriends.
Sure, being a member of her entourage (with its constant flurry of activity and excitement) has some appeal, but the endless disruptions and obsessing over the details of her life can be extremely distracting, not to mention draining. Her never-ending antics eventually wear thin, and often her closest “peeps” lose interest in the drama and may even choose to opt out of her life.
So what can you do if you find yourself in the company of a drama queen? Start by setting good boundaries for yourself, and don’t give into her theatrics. Just because she’s crying hysterically doesn’t mean you have to drop what you’re doing and go running to her side (remember that hysteria is her go-to emotion—a broken nail, or a spilled cup of coffee are cause for over reaction in her world.) Giving yourself permission to not respond to her every whim, is key to your peace of mind.
Before jumping to her aid, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts. Decide whether the situation is deserving of your time and energy, and whether it’s worth the imposition. The bottom line is that she’s quite capable of dealing with whatever bump in the road she’s experiencing. Life is filled with moments of conflict and uncertainty; and learning to deal with them calmly and appropriately is the key to her empowerment.
As you make that decision to eliminate drama from your life, your time and energy will be redirected to your goals and your life. And just imagine what you could accomplish when all of that creative energy (that is squandered on unnecessary drama) is channeled into your dreams and desires.
So, the next time your disruptive friend is stirring up conflict, walk away. Let her deal with her mess on her own. She’ll become a better person, and you’ll reclaim your peace of mind. And, you’ll be delighted to see how much more fulfilling life becomes when drama is out of the picture.
Contributed by Christy Whitman, Best-Selling Author of Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine
To instantly receive great tips on how to shift from Alpha Bitch to Fierce and Feminine, and to receive the download of the book for free, just go here: www.alphabitchbook.com