An Open Letter To My Friends Who Still Smoke

January 12, 2012 3:00 pm     Posted in Body, Health  Michelle - College of Idaho g+ page


By Michelle

What is it about smoking that feels mysterious, or sexy, or chic? Or is that it? Do you smoke because of its image or do you smoke because it’s convenient? It gives you something to do with your hands at parties, I guess. But what else is there? Despite everything you know about smoking – emphysema, the fatality of lung cancer, the fact that it will give asthma to your kids if you keep this up – you’re still doing it. There has to be a reason.

Friends, I’m not trying to guilt-trip or shame you. Certainly, if you want to smoke – go ahead! It only hurts you (well, mostly — anyone in your direct vicinity is getting a good dose of secondhand, but hopefully, you make the conscientious choice to smoke away from others). I’m just trying to understand.

More than anything, smoking is disgusting. It smells bad. And let’s be real, you smell bad. I know you talk about how you always change your jacket from smoking outside to coming inside. I know you wear perfume, brush your teeth, wash your hair. But it’s still there. A constant scent underneath your body spray, your toothpaste. You stink, buddy. Plain and simple.

I think the worst thing is that it makes you look like you don’t care. It’s one thing to not care about what people think of you, or to not worry about intimidating other people. That’s confidence and it’s sexy. It’s different to look like you actually don’t care about yourself: your health and your future don’t matter as much to you as that cigarette. And friend, that is not sexy.

In the end, I want you to be in my future, friends. I want to get really old and cranky together. But the more I see you smoke, the more I realize you might not be there to play checkers in the park or feed pigeons together.

Friend, I hope someday you decide to quit. I’ll be there for you until that point, of course, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to contain my excitement when you make that decision.

Love always,

Michelle

Michelle is a food fanatic and fashion blogger trying to find her way in a post-graduate world. When she’s not frantically applying to grad schools, she’s shopping online and pretending to be getting work done. You can follow her @lockedoutblog! 

18 Comments on "An Open Letter To My Friends Who Still Smoke"

  1. ..smh says:
    Thu, 12th Jan 20124:31 pm 

    Get a life. Other people smoking has nothing to do with you. Coming from a person who has never smoked anything in her life.

  2. Molly - UNL says:
    Thu, 12th Jan 20126:20 pm 

    I agree, not only is it gross, but why even pick up the habit – it's not like we don't know how terrible it is for us?!

  3. Kelly says:
    Thu, 12th Jan 20126:59 pm 

    "Do you smoke because of its image or do you smoke because it’s convenient? It gives you something to do with your hands at parties, I guess. But what else is there?…There has to be a reason."

    My sister has smoked since she was 15 (I suppose she started for one of the simplistic reasons you suggest above). Now she's 23 and has tried quitting dozens of times. I, and many of her friends and family members, nag her to quit, and she definitely tries. She's not smoking today because it makes her look "mysterious, sexy, or chic." She's smoking because she's addicted. People understand the consequences and risks of smoking; unfortunately, quitting is a million times easier said than done.

    I despise cigarettes, but this article is really judgmental and kind of ignorant of reality.

  4. Carrie says:
    Thu, 12th Jan 20127:12 pm 

    My father lives with emphysema every day from smoking. Dependent on oxygen, barrel chest, wheezing, horrible crap he spits up all because his lungs are full of air pockets that trap dead air. It is the worst thing to watch, and still 2 of my 4 siblings smoke. Some people don't get it. I see the effects every day, and I'll never pick up a cigarette. I don't want that for my kids. :-/

  5. tiktin says:
    Thu, 12th Jan 201211:10 pm 

    The world is full of self appointed do-gooders who believe that they have been appointed by God to lecture others in the way that they should go. In some cases, these people are legislators who get legislation passed which instruct the police to use force and violence to impose their ideas on others. That takes us down the road to government by Big Brother. So I think it would be better if these people kept their ideas to themselves, because when comes down to it, you may not like what Big Brother would force on you.

  6. Jolliver says:
    Thu, 12th Jan 201211:35 pm 

    I'm not even a smoker, and anti-smokers annoy me more than smokers because of their self-righteous obnoxiousness.

  7. agreed says:
    Fri, 13th Jan 20121:03 am 

    i appreciate and understand this letter SO much! i love love my friends, but have a few who smoke constantly..cigarette after cigarette every 15 minutes or so. i just wish these things werent addictive, dangerous, or fatal. i have asthma, as do millions of people across the world. sadly over time i have stopped going to friends homes because they smoke inside the home, and being in such close company with 3 or 4 people smoking indoors really triggers my asthma.. I even went through a phase where i smoked for a few months, but gave it up once i realized my lungs were getting weaker via slower cross country times in races and practice. the dangers are real, and i wish addiction was easier to overcome, and i too hope and pray that my friends avoid health complications in the future

  8. forfruitfuldreamers says:
    Fri, 13th Jan 20128:52 am 

    I can see how this post may be taken the wrong way but I think your intentions were good! I can't put myself into a smoker's shoes but I can imagine this being about drinking or bad eating habits. As human beings, we all have some sort of bad habit that others may find disgusting and/or pointless. If someone policed my drinking habit then I would definitely take offense because I already know its not the healthiest habit to have. They may have started for the cool factor or even as a simple stress reliever but the point is that these habits can be addictive. I doubt you would be able to quit cold-turkey simply because its disgusting, stupid to others or harmful. Addiction is real and your friend might need your love and support if they're making the decision to quit. However, it may be something they really enjoy and in that case, I would just have to avoid the times when they do this particular habit. Thanks for this post :)

  9. Lily says:
    Fri, 13th Jan 201212:32 pm 

    I feel like you DO smoke. Just a feeling…

  10. elynsysnos says:
    Fri, 13th Jan 20121:38 pm 

    Actually, other people smoking has a lot to do with me, and anyone else near them. Smokers are screwing up my(&others) health because they're so weak willed that they cannot quit smoking something so harmful. Coming from a person who has never smoked anything in her life, however has developed asthma thanks to excessive amounts of second hand smoke from family members.

  11. Sara says:
    Fri, 13th Jan 20122:08 pm 

    Yikes.

  12. Sarah says:
    Fri, 13th Jan 20124:08 pm 

    I can understand that people find it extremely difficult to stop smoking but not why you'd start in the first place. That's what boggles me – I know so many people who sat through anti-smoking talks or had relatives die from lung cancer who still thought smoking was cool or something they had to do to fit in.

  13. Kate says:
    Fri, 13th Jan 20128:18 pm 

    It still surprises me to see my peers smoke- it seems like such an '80s thing. Our generation had SO much anti-smoking education in elementary and middle school, so I don't understand the appeal. Maybe it's that whole "rebellion" aspect?

  14. Kelly says:
    Sat, 14th Jan 201212:04 am 

    Right, I agree that it is a stupid choice to start in the first place. The smokers I know started because their friends were smoking and they were trying to look cooler and fit in, and they were young and living in the moment, not thinking about the effects of long-term smoking.

    I was commenting on the judgey tone of the letter ("You smell bad…you stink…it looks like you don't care." Like she's doing smokers a favor by letting them know, "That is not sexy.") The message here just seems deliberately obtuse to me: "Why do you smoke, guys? It's like so not hot! And you stink and you're gonna get cancer and die :( ! Are you trying to look cool? Like, I don't get ittttt ??" The whole tone is just annoying and pretentious and completely unhelpful to those who are ALREADY addicted.

  15. Kelly says:
    Sat, 14th Jan 20121:23 am 

    We also had so much anti-drug and -underage drinking education, but how many of us waited til we were 21 to drink, or have never smoked pot? :) I think It definitely does have a lot to do with rebellion at an age when everyone's telling you what to do and you wanna be in control of your own life.

  16. Eimear says:
    Sat, 14th Jan 20124:45 pm 

    I honestly cannot fathom how young people in this day and age smoke. It is understandable when you see an older person smoking – the dangers weren't known until these people were well addicted. But younger people have absolutely no excuse. It is a disgusting habit that damages the health of not only the smoker, but those around them. I may be ignorant, but I cannot grasp why someone would pay to poison themselves. And there is no point in talking about addiction, if people really wanted to quit, they would do it. Addiction is always in peoples' minds, all that is needed is will power and there wouldn't be any problems.

  17. guest says:
    Mon, 16th Jan 20124:14 am 

    quitting isn't the easiest thing to do. Think about your vice, something that you do, and want to stop but can't. Use your will power for that. People say "Why do you smoke, you're going to die…" Uumm newsflash, we're all dying a little bit every day, no one is guaranteed a long life, and 100% of non-smokers will die…

  18. Victoria says:
    Mon, 16th Jan 20121:06 pm 

    other people's smoking actually definitely can affect you. At my university campus at the entrance of EVERY building you had to walk through a cloud of smoke even though it clearly says must be 10 metres away. If I choose not to smoke because of the harmful effects, why am I still subjected to secondhand smoke? That's like if I chose not to drink and someone was pouring their drink down my throat. That is one of the reasons smoking bothers anti-smokers so much – because it does have an impact on those around them.

Tell us what you're thinking...