Diary of the Undateable: Be Gone, Bug a Boo

January 13, 2012 5:00 pm     Posted in Other Stories, Reality, Relationships  Khalea - Howard University g+ page


By Khalea

You make me wanna throw my pager out the window, tell MCI to cut the phone calls. Break my lease so I can move ‘cause you a bug a boo, a bug a boo.

Leave it to my honorary auntie Bey to break my life down perfectly! I decided to reactivate my dating profile last month out of 75 percent boredom, 25 percent desperation. And I’ve already experienced 100 percent failure. With helpful tips from an anonymous (and awesome) editor, I declared that I wouldn’t take everything so seriously this time. It’s just dating! Every guy I reach out to won’t write back and every guy that talks to me won’t be Michael Ealy. You win some and lose…umm, most.

On New Year’s Eve, I got a message from a 6’1 self-proclaimed local “rapper.” He wasn’t my usual type, but whatevs. I’m down for almost anything at this point. He could read and write and knew how to upload pictures – sadly, that was good enough for me.

We partook in the typical introductory prose – where are you from, what do you like, what are you studying. He seemed nice. “Maybe this is a sign of things to come,” I thought. “This is the year of the boo!” I was flattered when he instant messaged me the next day. It was pleasant – idle chitchat with a stranger can be oddly entertaining. He was smart and knew some good music. He wasn’t the guy I wanted to marry or even date, but he had the potential to be a good friend.

It’s funny how perceptions differ, because he wants to be more than my friend, just after two days. What. The. Hell. I woke up to three inbox messages from him – he kept on chatting me up long after I logged off. He keeps visiting my profile and pays attention to anything I change on it. And he wrote me a song – the opening line being “I want you/I need you/I need you/I want you.” I didn’t even give this guy my real name and this wannabe Jay was already treating me like his Queen B!

I don’t know how to get rid of him in the most polite way possible – I’ve been on the other end of heartbreak several times. In high school, I had a crush on a guy for a good two or three years. I’m talking forlorn stares on the bus, attention-seeking moves of desperation and love emails.  Needless to say, he publicly rejected me each chance he got. I still had feelings for him, though…the more he said no, the harder I tried. It was really hurtful. I vowed that if I were ever on the receiving end of anyone’s affection, I’d be understanding and kind if things went awry. But my gosh, enough is enough! He won’t take a hint and he keeps asking for my number. I guess it’s true – be careful what you wish for.

CollegeCandy readers, tell me. How can I shake my bug-a-boo? Have you been in a similar situation? What did you do?

5 Comments on "Diary of the Undateable: Be Gone, Bug a Boo"

  1. Maura - Rider University says:
    Fri, 13th Jan 20125:45 pm 

    Well, since you only know him online, you don't have to deal with seeing him publicly or him coming to bother you. I honestly think he probably gives the same attention to other girls on the website, and will move on quickly. I wouldn't have anymore conversations with him and keep things short with a hey, how are you, I've been busy lately, etc. If you don't respond to his messages/don't give detailed responses, he will probably move on in a week or less.

  2. howtofindaguy says:
    Fri, 13th Jan 20127:04 pm 

    You have no external ties to this guy beyond the dating site! I say you be honest with him and tell him that you aren't feeling it and wish him luck in his search. You don't have the pressure of insulting a mutual friend who tried to set you up, or having to see him at parties with your friends so it should be really easy to move on. Just don't string him along, that's probably worse, honesty and quick honesty is the best policy in these situations.

  3. Samara says:
    Sat, 14th Jan 20127:56 pm 

    lol a actually did the wrong thing and gave into his persistance. Don't do that…if he can't respect that you need space that just shows that he is too immature to deal, and he's probably not worth responding to. If you stick to your guns and don't reply and do the quick "hi-byes" with the "i-gotta-go" smile, hopefully he'll just tire himself out.
    -Goodluck,
    Sw

  4. Lena says:
    Sun, 15th Jan 20127:45 pm 

    2012 "It's the year of the boo!" I sure as heck hope so!

  5. hoak1218 says:
    Thu, 19th Jan 20129:00 am 

    If you tell a guy you aren't interested the first time and he keeps messaging, stop responding. If he keeps messaging, respond ONE MORE TIME nicely and say you just arent interested/available whatever. If he keeps messaging then, I say let him have it. He's clearly a psycho and a stalker if he doesnt understand that no means no.

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